Get ready to laugh your socks off because weโve got the best collection of clever puns and jokes about โcleverโ that will tickle your funny bone! ๐ This list of hilarious wordplay is perfect for kids and adults who appreciate a good dose of humor. Get ready for some positive vibes and groan-worthy jokes that are โcleverโ in all the right ways! ๐ Letโs jump into a world where intelligence and laughter collide! ๐
Top Clever Puns & Jokes โ Editorโs Picks: Guaranteed to Quip You Up!
- Why donโt scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
- Whatโs the best thing about Switzerland? I donโt know, but the flag is a big plus.
- You know what I saw today? Every single thing I looked at.
- What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? An R2-Detour!
- I used to be addicted to soapโฆ but Iโm clean now.
- Why donโt they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
- Why canโt Monday lift Saturday? Itโs a weak day.
- What does oblivious mean? No idea!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
- What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeรฑo business!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Whatโs red and bad for your teeth? A brick.
Funny Clever One-Liner Jokes: Quick Witticisms to Brighten Your Day
- I used to be addicted to soap, but Iโm clean now. ๐งผ
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! ๐ฆ๐ฅ
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. ๐คจ
- Why donโt scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! โ๏ธ๐คฅ
- I just got fired from my job at the bank. An apparent blood type mismatch. ๐ฉธ๐ฆ
- Whatโs the best thing about Switzerland? I donโt know, but the flag is a big plus. ๐จ๐ญโ
- I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me. ๐ฅ๐ฒ
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! ๐ ๐คญ
- Iโm reading a book about anti-gravity. Itโs impossible to put down! ๐๐ฝ
- Why donโt they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! ๐๐
- What does oblivious mean? I have no idea. ๐คทโโ๏ธ๐คทโโ๏ธ
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. โณ๐๐ชฐ
- I used to be a baker, but I didnโt make enough dough. ๐๐ธ
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. They wonโt expect it back. ๐ต๐
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! ๐พ๐
QnA Jokes & Puns About Clever: Get Ready to Exercise Your Funny Bone!
- Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was outstanding in his field! ๐พ๐
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato! ๐ฅ๐ฆ
- Q: What does oblivious mean because I have no idea! A: โฆ ๐ค
- Q: Why donโt scientists trust atoms? A: Because they make up everything! โ๏ธ๐คฅ
- Q: Whatโs orange and sounds like a parrot? A: A carrot! ๐ฅ๐ฆ
- Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? A: A gummy bear! ๐ป๐ฌ
- Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? A: In case he got a hole-in-one! ๐๏ธโโ๏ธ๐
- Q: Why donโt they play poker in the jungle? A: Too many cheetahs! ๐๐
- Q: Why canโt Monday lift Saturday? A: Itโs a weak day. ๐ช๐๏ธ
- Q: What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? A: An R2-Detour! ๐ค๐บ๏ธ
- Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A: A tuba toothpaste! ๐๐ถ
- Q: How does a penguin build its house? A: Igloos it together! ๐ง๐
- Q: Why is being a pirate so addictive? A: They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked! ๐ช๐ดโโ ๏ธ
- Q: Why donโt some couples go to the gym together? A: Because they have a strained relationship! ๐ช๐
Dad Jokes About Clever: Warning: May Induce Groans (and Giggles)
- You know whatโs really clever? Using a thesaurus to sound smart. Just kidding, thatโs my secret!
- Someone called me clever the other day. It was the nicest thing anyoneโs ever saidโฆ out loud.
- My wife says Iโm not very clever. I told her, โDonโt be ridiculous, Iโm full of clever ideasโฆ theyโre just all on vacation right now.โ
- I tried to join a club for clever people, but they said I wasnโt smart enough. I told them, โWell, thatโs your opinion!โ
- My wife asked me to name something thatโs clever and green. Apparently, โA thinking treeโ wasnโt the right answer.
- How do you know someone is clever but doesnโt want anyone to know? They tell you theyโre not very clever.
- I told my doctor I wanted to be more clever. He said, โTake these pills.โ So I did, and now Iโm a pharmacist!
- Being clever is a lot like being a magician. You gotta be sneaky about it.
- Whatโs the most clever animal in the ocean? A brain coral.
- I tried to explain to my son the importance of being clever, but it went right over his head.
- Whatโs the difference between being clever and being wise? Knowing when to keep your mouth shut!
Funny Quotes About Clever: Witty Wisdom for Your Inner Smart Aleck
- โIโm not saying Iโm lazy, but I once considered getting a personal assistant just to scroll through Netflix for me.โ โ Unknown
- โIโm so clever that sometimes I donโt understand a single word of what I am saying.โ โ Oscar Wilde (with a twist)
- โLight travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.โ โ Alan Dundes (a classic!)
- โIโm not always a genius, but when I am, I prefer to be called โYour Brilliance.'โ โ Unknown
- โIโm not sure whatโs tighter, my jeans or my grasp on reality.โ โ Unknown
- โSome people say Iโm condescending. That means I talk down to people.โ โ Steven Wright (perfectly deadpan)
- โI put my phone in airplane mode, but it still hasnโt taken off. What am I doing wrong?โ โ Unknown
- โThe only reason Iโm not a millionaire is because my lottery numbers havenโt come up yet. Itโs purely strategic.โ โ Unknown
- โMy therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. Iโm still holding onto that one from 2008 pretty tightly.โ โ Unknown
- โI used to be indecisive. Now Iโm not so sure.โ โ Unknown
- โIโm writing a book. Iโve got the page numbers done, so thatโs a start.โ โ Mitch Hedberg (a legend)
- โIโm not arguing, Iโm simply explaining why Iโm right.โ โ Unknown
- โIโm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.โ โ Unknown
- โIf I had a dollar for every smart thing you saidโฆ Iโd probably still be broke, but at least Iโd have a dollar.โ โ Unknown
- โIโm not saying I invented the internet, but I did click on the pop-up window that said, โYou are the 1 millionth visitor.'โ โ Unknown
Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Clever: Witty Whispers and Smart-Aleck Sayings
- Early to bed and early to rise makes a person somewhat suspicious of your clever alibi.
- You can lead a horse to water, but you canโt make it think outside the stable โ thatโs a job for a clever donkey.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the clever bird waits for someone to order takeout.
- Donโt count your chickens before they hatchโฆ unless youโve cleverly trained them to use an abacus.
- Two wrongs donโt make a right, but two clever lefts can get you out of a tight parking spot.
- A penny saved is a penny earned, unless you spent a dollar on that โGet Rich Quickโ book for clever investors.
- Honesty is the best policy, but cleverness gets you a better insurance rate.
- Silence is golden, unless you have a killer comeback โ then, by all means, be clever.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a cleverly disguised cookie is way more satisfying.
- A watched pot never boils, but a cleverly rigged one makes popcorn in record time.
- Rome wasnโt built in a day, but they werenโt using a team of cleverly trained beavers either.
- People in glass houses shouldnโt throw stones, but they can set some pretty clever traps.
- Donโt bite the hand that feeds you, unless it belongs to a mime โ then use your cleverness to escape unnoticed.
- Good things come to those who wait, but clever people usually find a way to cut the line.
- Laughter is the best medicine, especially when youโre laughing at someone elseโs clever misfortune.
Clever Double Entendres Puns: Wordplay So Good, It Has Two Meanings (At Least!)
- I used to be addicted to soap, but Iโm clean now. (Clean refers to both hygiene and overcoming addiction)
- The butcher got caught weighing his thumb with the customerโs order. He said he was just trying to make a quick buck. (Buck refers to both a dollar and a male deer)
- Why donโt scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! (Make up can mean to invent something and to be the composition of something)
- I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me. (Hit me refers to a realization and being physically hit)
- The optometrist fell into the lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself. (Spectacle refers to a sight or event and eyeglasses)
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. (The first sentence is a common idiom, the second plays on the literal meaning of โfruit fliesโ)
- Iโm reading a book about anti-gravity. Itโs impossible to put down! (Put down can mean to stop reading and to place something down)
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. (Surprised can refer to an emotion and being startled by something unexpected)
- I want to write a book about how to write a book, but I canโt seem to put my thoughts into words. (Put thoughts into words is a figure of speech meaning to express oneself)
- Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? Theyโre making headlines! (Headlines can refer to news and the top part of a pillow)
- Why donโt they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! (Cheetahs can refer to the animal and people who cheat)
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! (Pouch potato plays on the phrase โcouch potatoโ)
- Iโm friends with all the ducks in the park; we quack each other up. (Quack each other up uses the duckโs sound for laughter)
- Whatโs the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire! (Attire refers to clothing and what the men are riding)
- Never discuss infinity with a mathematician. They can go on about it forever. (Go on can mean to talk at length and continue indefinitely)
Recursive Puns About Clever: Prepare for Clever Puns That Are Clever Even About Being Clever
- Why was the clever pun so hard to understand? Because it was too abstractโฆractโฆractโฆ ๐คฏ
- You know what they say about clever people? Theyโre always thinking outside the boxโฆ outside the boxโฆ outside the boxโฆ ๐ฆ
- How do you measure the intelligence of a clever pun? By its wit-hโฆ wit-hโฆ wit-hโฆ๐
- Why was the clever computer programmer always cold? Because he was always coding in Javaโฆ Javaโฆ Javaโฆ ๐ฅถ
- What did the clever grammar enthusiast say about the never-ending sentence? It was a run-onโฆ run-onโฆ run-onโฆ ๐ฃ๏ธ
- Why donโt they trust atoms with being clever? Because they make up everythingโฆ everythingโฆ everythingโฆ โ๏ธ
- What do you call a clever kingโs favorite type of music? A sym-phonyโฆ phonyโฆ phonyโฆ ๐๐ถ
- Why did the clever scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his fieldโฆ in his fieldโฆ in his fieldโฆ ๐พ
- I tried to explain to my friend why the pun was so clever, but he just didnโt get itโฆ get itโฆ get itโฆ ๐คทโโ๏ธ
- What do you call a clever fishโs favorite type of music? Salmon-tunesโฆ tunesโฆ tunesโฆ ๐๐ถ
- Why was the clever detective so good at solving mysteries? Because he could connect the dotsโฆ the dotsโฆ the dotsโฆ ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ
- Why donโt scientists trust stairs with being clever? Because theyโre always up to somethingโฆ up to somethingโฆ up to somethingโฆ ๐ช
- Iโm so clever, I could write a recursive pun about being cleverโฆ about being cleverโฆ about being cleverโฆ ๐
Clever Tom Swifties โ Jokes and Puns That Will Leave You Saying โWell Playedโ
- โI need to see the patient in bed 10,โ the doctor said wardly.
- Iโve lost my voice,โ the singer said hoarsely.
- โThis coffee tastes like dirt!โ Tom said groundly.
- โI think Iโm going to be sick,โ Tom said nauseously.
- โThis zoo is really smelly,โ Tom said zoologically.
- โMake sure that door is secure,โ Tom said boltedly.
- โI can cut through metal with my bare hands!โ Tom said ironically.
- โI love performing in plays,โ Tom said dramatically.
- โThatโs my favorite part of the newspaper,โ Tom said columnly.
- โGet to the point!โ Tom said bluntly.
- โThese pancakes are flat,โ Tom said flatly.
- โIโm going to win this race,โ Tom said confidently.
- โIโve only got diamonds, clubs, and spades!โ Tom said heartlessly.
- โThatโs the last time I order anything online!โ Tom said defeatedly.
- โThese shoes are way too tight,โ Tom said narrowly.
- โI won $10! Letโs celebrate!โ Tom said triumphantly.
Clever Spoonerisms: Tongue Twisters for the Witty and Quick
- โThatโs one smell cubee!โ (smart cookie)
- โDonโt be such a clever bic liver!โ (clever dick)
- โHeโs got a pea-sized rain!โ (brain)
- โSheโs a real whizz kidney!โ (whiz kid)
- โWow, youโre a regular sight readee!โ (bright reader)
- โHeโs as sharp as a tack of wards!โ (stack of cards)
- โSheโs got a real knack for plucking the best hories!โ (stories)
- โDonโt be a fart smarty!โ (smart arty)
- โHeโs definitely the wast briniest in the room!โ (brightest)
- โSheโs got a mind like a steel crap!โ (steel trap)
- โHeโs always a few stews ahead!โ (steps)
- โSheโs a regular word slither!โ (wordsmith)
- โHe could solve a rubikโs tube in his sleep!โ (Rubikโs Cube)
- โDonโt worry, heโs a qualified brain surge!โ (brain surgeon)
- โSheโs always quick with a witty retorture!โ (witty retort)
- โHeโs a real whizz with a pun and a craper!โ (pen and paper)
- โWell, slap my hand and call me sally, sheโs a regular brain drain!โ (rain brain)
Pun Intended: Thatโs All, Folks! ๐
Weโve reached the peak of pun-derfulness! Hopefully, these 150+ clever puns and jokes have left you feeling anything but dense. But donโt stop now, our website is a veritable gold mine of groan-worthy gags and chuckle-inducing wordplay. Explore at your own risk, you might just die laughingโฆ or at least crack a smile. ๐