Get ready to laugh your socks off because weβve got the best collection of clever puns and jokes about βcleverβ that will tickle your funny bone! π This list of hilarious wordplay is perfect for kids and adults who appreciate a good dose of humor. Get ready for some positive vibes and groan-worthy jokes that are βcleverβ in all the right ways! π Letβs jump into a world where intelligence and laughter collide! π
Top Clever Puns & Jokes β Editorβs Picks: Guaranteed to Quip You Up!
- Why donβt scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
- Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
- Whatβs the best thing about Switzerland? I donβt know, but the flag is a big plus.
- You know what I saw today? Every single thing I looked at.
- What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? An R2-Detour!
- I used to be addicted to soapβ¦ but Iβm clean now.
- Why donβt they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
- Why canβt Monday lift Saturday? Itβs a weak day.
- What does oblivious mean? No idea!
- Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two tired!
- What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeΓ±o business!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- Whatβs red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Funny Clever One-Liner Jokes: Quick Witticisms to Brighten Your Day
- I used to be addicted to soap, but Iβm clean now. π§Ό
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! π¦π₯
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. π€¨
- Why donβt scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! βοΈπ€₯
- I just got fired from my job at the bank. An apparent blood type mismatch. π©Έπ¦
- Whatβs the best thing about Switzerland? I donβt know, but the flag is a big plus. π¨πβ
- I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me. π₯π²
- What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh! π π€
- Iβm reading a book about anti-gravity. Itβs impossible to put down! ππ½
- Why donβt they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! ππ
- What does oblivious mean? I have no idea. π€·ββοΈπ€·ββοΈ
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. β³ππͺ°
- I used to be a baker, but I didnβt make enough dough. ππΈ
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. They wonβt expect it back. π΅π
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! πΎπ
QnA Jokes & Puns About Clever: Get Ready to Exercise Your Funny Bone!
- Q: Why did the scarecrow win an award? A: Because he was outstanding in his field! πΎπ
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato! π₯π¦
- Q: What does oblivious mean because I have no idea! A: β¦ π€
- Q: Why donβt scientists trust atoms? A: Because they make up everything! βοΈπ€₯
- Q: Whatβs orange and sounds like a parrot? A: A carrot! π₯π¦
- Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth? A: A gummy bear! π»π¬
- Q: Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? A: In case he got a hole-in-one! ποΈββοΈπ
- Q: Why donβt they play poker in the jungle? A: Too many cheetahs! ππ
- Q: Why canβt Monday lift Saturday? A: Itβs a weak day. πͺποΈ
- Q: What do you call a droid that takes the long way around? A: An R2-Detour! π€πΊοΈ
- Q: What musical instrument is found in the bathroom? A: A tuba toothpaste! ππΆ
- Q: How does a penguin build its house? A: Igloos it together! π§π
- Q: Why is being a pirate so addictive? A: They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked! πͺπ΄ββ οΈ
- Q: Why donβt some couples go to the gym together? A: Because they have a strained relationship! πͺπ
Dad Jokes About Clever: Warning: May Induce Groans (and Giggles)
- You know whatβs really clever? Using a thesaurus to sound smart. Just kidding, thatβs my secret!
- Someone called me clever the other day. It was the nicest thing anyoneβs ever saidβ¦ out loud.
- My wife says Iβm not very clever. I told her, βDonβt be ridiculous, Iβm full of clever ideasβ¦ theyβre just all on vacation right now.β
- I tried to join a club for clever people, but they said I wasnβt smart enough. I told them, βWell, thatβs your opinion!β
- My wife asked me to name something thatβs clever and green. Apparently, βA thinking treeβ wasnβt the right answer.
- How do you know someone is clever but doesnβt want anyone to know? They tell you theyβre not very clever.
- I told my doctor I wanted to be more clever. He said, βTake these pills.β So I did, and now Iβm a pharmacist!
- Being clever is a lot like being a magician. You gotta be sneaky about it.
- Whatβs the most clever animal in the ocean? A brain coral.
- I tried to explain to my son the importance of being clever, but it went right over his head.
- Whatβs the difference between being clever and being wise? Knowing when to keep your mouth shut!
Funny Quotes About Clever: Witty Wisdom for Your Inner Smart Aleck
- βIβm not saying Iβm lazy, but I once considered getting a personal assistant just to scroll through Netflix for me.β β Unknown
- βIβm so clever that sometimes I donβt understand a single word of what I am saying.β β Oscar Wilde (with a twist)
- βLight travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.β β Alan Dundes (a classic!)
- βIβm not always a genius, but when I am, I prefer to be called βYour Brilliance.'β β Unknown
- βIβm not sure whatβs tighter, my jeans or my grasp on reality.β β Unknown
- βSome people say Iβm condescending. That means I talk down to people.β β Steven Wright (perfectly deadpan)
- βI put my phone in airplane mode, but it still hasnβt taken off. What am I doing wrong?β β Unknown
- βThe only reason Iβm not a millionaire is because my lottery numbers havenβt come up yet. Itβs purely strategic.β β Unknown
- βMy therapist told me to embrace my mistakes. Iβm still holding onto that one from 2008 pretty tightly.β β Unknown
- βI used to be indecisive. Now Iβm not so sure.β β Unknown
- βIβm writing a book. Iβve got the page numbers done, so thatβs a start.β β Mitch Hedberg (a legend)
- βIβm not arguing, Iβm simply explaining why Iβm right.β β Unknown
- βIβm not clumsy. The floor just hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies, and the walls get in my way.β β Unknown
- βIf I had a dollar for every smart thing you saidβ¦ Iβd probably still be broke, but at least Iβd have a dollar.β β Unknown
- βIβm not saying I invented the internet, but I did click on the pop-up window that said, βYou are the 1 millionth visitor.'β β Unknown
Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Clever: Witty Whispers and Smart-Aleck Sayings
- Early to bed and early to rise makes a person somewhat suspicious of your clever alibi.
- You can lead a horse to water, but you canβt make it think outside the stable β thatβs a job for a clever donkey.
- The early bird may get the worm, but the clever bird waits for someone to order takeout.
- Donβt count your chickens before they hatchβ¦ unless youβve cleverly trained them to use an abacus.
- Two wrongs donβt make a right, but two clever lefts can get you out of a tight parking spot.
- A penny saved is a penny earned, unless you spent a dollar on that βGet Rich Quickβ book for clever investors.
- Honesty is the best policy, but cleverness gets you a better insurance rate.
- Silence is golden, unless you have a killer comeback β then, by all means, be clever.
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a cleverly disguised cookie is way more satisfying.
- A watched pot never boils, but a cleverly rigged one makes popcorn in record time.
- Rome wasnβt built in a day, but they werenβt using a team of cleverly trained beavers either.
- People in glass houses shouldnβt throw stones, but they can set some pretty clever traps.
- Donβt bite the hand that feeds you, unless it belongs to a mime β then use your cleverness to escape unnoticed.
- Good things come to those who wait, but clever people usually find a way to cut the line.
- Laughter is the best medicine, especially when youβre laughing at someone elseβs clever misfortune.
Clever Double Entendres Puns: Wordplay So Good, It Has Two Meanings (At Least!)
- I used to be addicted to soap, but Iβm clean now. (Clean refers to both hygiene and overcoming addiction)
- The butcher got caught weighing his thumb with the customerβs order. He said he was just trying to make a quick buck. (Buck refers to both a dollar and a male deer)
- Why donβt scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! (Make up can mean to invent something and to be the composition of something)
- I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me. (Hit me refers to a realization and being physically hit)
- The optometrist fell into the lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself. (Spectacle refers to a sight or event and eyeglasses)
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana. (The first sentence is a common idiom, the second plays on the literal meaning of βfruit fliesβ)
- Iβm reading a book about anti-gravity. Itβs impossible to put down! (Put down can mean to stop reading and to place something down)
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. (Surprised can refer to an emotion and being startled by something unexpected)
- I want to write a book about how to write a book, but I canβt seem to put my thoughts into words. (Put thoughts into words is a figure of speech meaning to express oneself)
- Have you heard about the new corduroy pillows? Theyβre making headlines! (Headlines can refer to news and the top part of a pillow)
- Why donβt they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! (Cheetahs can refer to the animal and people who cheat)
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! (Pouch potato plays on the phrase βcouch potatoβ)
- Iβm friends with all the ducks in the park; we quack each other up. (Quack each other up uses the duckβs sound for laughter)
- Whatβs the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire! (Attire refers to clothing and what the men are riding)
- Never discuss infinity with a mathematician. They can go on about it forever. (Go on can mean to talk at length and continue indefinitely)
Recursive Puns About Clever: Prepare for Clever Puns That Are Clever Even About Being Clever
- Why was the clever pun so hard to understand? Because it was too abstractβ¦ractβ¦ractβ¦ π€―
- You know what they say about clever people? Theyβre always thinking outside the boxβ¦ outside the boxβ¦ outside the boxβ¦ π¦
- How do you measure the intelligence of a clever pun? By its wit-hβ¦ wit-hβ¦ wit-hβ¦π
- Why was the clever computer programmer always cold? Because he was always coding in Javaβ¦ Javaβ¦ Javaβ¦ π₯Ά
- What did the clever grammar enthusiast say about the never-ending sentence? It was a run-onβ¦ run-onβ¦ run-onβ¦ π£οΈ
- Why donβt they trust atoms with being clever? Because they make up everythingβ¦ everythingβ¦ everythingβ¦ βοΈ
- What do you call a clever kingβs favorite type of music? A sym-phonyβ¦ phonyβ¦ phonyβ¦ ππΆ
- Why did the clever scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his fieldβ¦ in his fieldβ¦ in his fieldβ¦ πΎ
- I tried to explain to my friend why the pun was so clever, but he just didnβt get itβ¦ get itβ¦ get itβ¦ π€·ββοΈ
- What do you call a clever fishβs favorite type of music? Salmon-tunesβ¦ tunesβ¦ tunesβ¦ ππΆ
- Why was the clever detective so good at solving mysteries? Because he could connect the dotsβ¦ the dotsβ¦ the dotsβ¦ π΅οΈββοΈ
- Why donβt scientists trust stairs with being clever? Because theyβre always up to somethingβ¦ up to somethingβ¦ up to somethingβ¦ πͺ
- Iβm so clever, I could write a recursive pun about being cleverβ¦ about being cleverβ¦ about being cleverβ¦ π
Clever Tom Swifties β Jokes and Puns That Will Leave You Saying βWell Playedβ
- βI need to see the patient in bed 10,β the doctor said wardly.
- Iβve lost my voice,β the singer said hoarsely.
- βThis coffee tastes like dirt!β Tom said groundly.
- βI think Iβm going to be sick,β Tom said nauseously.
- βThis zoo is really smelly,β Tom said zoologically.
- βMake sure that door is secure,β Tom said boltedly.
- βI can cut through metal with my bare hands!β Tom said ironically.
- βI love performing in plays,β Tom said dramatically.
- βThatβs my favorite part of the newspaper,β Tom said columnly.
- βGet to the point!β Tom said bluntly.
- βThese pancakes are flat,β Tom said flatly.
- βIβm going to win this race,β Tom said confidently.
- βIβve only got diamonds, clubs, and spades!β Tom said heartlessly.
- βThatβs the last time I order anything online!β Tom said defeatedly.
- βThese shoes are way too tight,β Tom said narrowly.
- βI won $10! Letβs celebrate!β Tom said triumphantly.
Clever Spoonerisms: Tongue Twisters for the Witty and Quick
- βThatβs one smell cubee!β (smart cookie)
- βDonβt be such a clever bic liver!β (clever dick)
- βHeβs got a pea-sized rain!β (brain)
- βSheβs a real whizz kidney!β (whiz kid)
- βWow, youβre a regular sight readee!β (bright reader)
- βHeβs as sharp as a tack of wards!β (stack of cards)
- βSheβs got a real knack for plucking the best hories!β (stories)
- βDonβt be a fart smarty!β (smart arty)
- βHeβs definitely the wast briniest in the room!β (brightest)
- βSheβs got a mind like a steel crap!β (steel trap)
- βHeβs always a few stews ahead!β (steps)
- βSheβs a regular word slither!β (wordsmith)
- βHe could solve a rubikβs tube in his sleep!β (Rubikβs Cube)
- βDonβt worry, heβs a qualified brain surge!β (brain surgeon)
- βSheβs always quick with a witty retorture!β (witty retort)
- βHeβs a real whizz with a pun and a craper!β (pen and paper)
- βWell, slap my hand and call me sally, sheβs a regular brain drain!β (rain brain)
Pun Intended: Thatβs All, Folks! π
Weβve reached the peak of pun-derfulness! Hopefully, these 150+ clever puns and jokes have left you feeling anything but dense. But donβt stop now, our website is a veritable gold mine of groan-worthy gags and chuckle-inducing wordplay. Explore at your own risk, you might just die laughingβ¦ or at least crack a smile. π
