Alright, settle in, folks, and get ready to laugh your butts offโ€ฆ or at least clear your throat a little! ๐Ÿ˜‚ Weโ€™re about to dive into the best, most hilarious world of smoker puns and jokes! ๐Ÿ”ฅ (Donโ€™t worry, these are totally PG โ€“ safe for kids and the faint of lung! ๐Ÿ˜‰). Get ready for a list of clever and positively funny wordplay thatโ€™s guaranteed to leave you gasping for airโ€ฆ from laughter, of course! ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿคฃ

Top Smoker Puns & Jokes That Will Leave You In Stitches (and Short of Breath, But Mostly Stitches)

  1. Why donโ€™t smokers ever win at poker? They always fold under pressure!
  2. I met a smoker who could exhale smoke rings shaped like the alphabet. I guess you could say he was smokinโ€™ his ABCs!
  3. My friend tried to quit smoking by only lighting up underwater. Turns out, he was just drowning his sorrows!
  4. What do you call a smokerโ€™s dating profile? Tinder and Kindling.
  5. Why did the smoker cross the road? He was chasing after his lighter fluid!
  6. I saw a smoker using sign language. He must have had a cough drop in his mouth!
  7. Why are smokers always running late? They got caught in a haze!
  8. My friendโ€™s such a heavy smoker, his birthday candles set off the fire alarm!
  9. Whatโ€™s a smokerโ€™s favorite Shakespeare play? โ€œMuch Ado About Nothingโ€ (and a whole lot of coughing).
  10. I used to be a baker until I realized I was only really good at making smoke rings.
  11. Why did the smoker get lost in the woods? He followed the wrong cloud!
  12. How can you spot a smoker on a dating app? They describe themselves as โ€œalways down for a good timeโ€ฆ and a smoke break.โ€
  13. Whatโ€™s a smokerโ€™s favorite genre of music? Anything with a good beatโ€ฆ and a hacking cough.
  14. My friend tried to light his cigarette off a volcano. It was a lava-ly bad idea!
  15. Smokers are really good at telling stories. Especially when theyโ€™re making excuses for needing a smoke break!
Clean and clever Smoker Puns and Jokes at ThePunnyWorld.com. Discover the best Smoker Puns and Jokes, featuring top Smoker jokes, one-liners, funny quotes, and captions. Enjoy a collection of funny and clever Smoker content designed for humor enthusiasts.

Smokinโ€™ Hot One-Liners: Jokes So Funny Theyโ€™ll Make You Cough!

  1. I told a smoker his habit was killing him, he said โ€œWe all gotta go sometime.โ€ I said, โ€œYeah, but why make an appointment?โ€
  2. My friend says he quit smoking cold turkey. Iโ€™m not sure, but I think I saw him talking to a ham earlier.
  3. I used to be a smoker, but I quit. Now, I just complain about not being able to breathe freelyโ€ฆ for free.
  4. A smokerโ€™s idea of a balanced diet is a cigarette in each hand.
  5. Found an old lighter that said โ€œguaranteed for life.โ€ Guess it belonged to a smoker with a good sense of irony.
  6. My friend says his New Yearโ€™s resolution is to quit smokingโ€ฆ cigarettes. Heโ€™s moving on to grilling meats.
  7. They say laughter is the best medicine. Except for smokers. Theyโ€™ll take cough drops.
  8. I saw a smoker using sign language today. He was trying to bum a light, but all he could get was a thumbs up.
  9. My friendโ€™s a smoker and a contortionist. He can light his cigarette on the back of his own head. Talk about twisted humor!
  10. How can you tell if someoneโ€™s a smoker at a zoo? Theyโ€™re the ones telling the monkeys to put it out.
  11. I tried to explain to a smoker that cigarettes are like reverse time travelersโ€ฆ they take years off your life and add them to your face.
  12. Whatโ€™s a smokerโ€™s favorite Shakespeare play? โ€œMuch Ado About Nothingโ€ (nicotine).
  13. My grandpa smoked two packs a day until he was 90. He finally quitโ€ฆ said it was giving him a cough.
  14. I asked a smoker for the time, he said, โ€œGive me a minute, gotta light a cigarette.โ€ I said, โ€œIsnโ€™t that ironic?โ€
  15. Why donโ€™t smokers play cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!

Quotes About Smokerโ€ฆ From People Who Clearly Like to Live Dangerously (and Smell Like Ash)

  1. โ€œA smokerโ€™s idea of a balanced diet is a cigarette in each hand.โ€
  2. โ€œIโ€™m not addicted to smoking, weโ€™re just in a very committed relationship.โ€
  3. โ€œSmoking: Proof that even with fire alarms, humans will still light things on fire.โ€
  4. โ€œI only smoke when Iโ€™m thinkingโ€ฆ or talkingโ€ฆ or breathing.โ€
  5. โ€œMy therapist told me to avoid stressful situationsโ€ฆ so I had to quit my job as a pack-a-day smoker.โ€
  6. โ€œBehind every successful smoker is a very confused guardian angel.โ€
  7. โ€œI tried quitting smoking cold turkey, but the turkey stole my lighter.โ€
  8. โ€œLifeโ€™s short. Smoke like itโ€™s a limited-edition cigar you paid way too much for.โ€ (Disclaimer: This is a joke, not an endorsement.)
  9. โ€œIโ€™m not saying Iโ€™m good at multitasking, but I can cough, wheeze, and apologize for smoking all at the same time.โ€
  10. โ€œI donโ€™t have a drinking problem, I have a smoking problemโ€ฆ I canโ€™t afford to drink anymore.โ€
  11. โ€œSmoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.โ€
  12. โ€œYou know youโ€™re a smoker when you can smell a fresh pack through a brick wall and six feet of steel.โ€
  13. โ€œIโ€™m not a chain smokerโ€ฆ I prefer to give my lungs a five-minute break between cigarettes.โ€
  14. โ€œSure, I could quit smoking, but whereโ€™s the drama in that?โ€
  15. โ€œAlways borrow cigarettes from a pessimist. Theyโ€™ll never expect them back.โ€

Dad Jokes about โ€œSmokerโ€: Guaranteed to Make You Cough Up Some Laughs

  1. I met a guy who used to be a smoker but quit cold turkey. I guess he just wasnโ€™t cut out for the poultry lifestyle.
  2. Why donโ€™t smokers win awards? Because theyโ€™re always getting toasted!
  3. My friend tried to tell me smoking was a bad habit. I told him, โ€œThatโ€™s just what Big Tobacco wants you to think!โ€
  4. Heard about the smoker who went to art school? He specialized in still lifes.
  5. A smokerโ€™s favorite punctuation mark? The ash-ta risk!
  6. What do you call a smoker with laryngitis? A text-a-holic!
  7. I used to date a chain smokerโ€ฆ turned out she was just dragging me along.
  8. My doctor told me to take up smoking to relieve stress. He said itโ€™s the โ€œleast of all evils.โ€
  9. I tried to explain to my dad that secondhand smoke is worse than firsthand smoke. He said, โ€œYeah, well, firsthand money is better than secondhand money!โ€
  10. Why did the smoker cross the road? He was racing a pack of cigarettes to the store!
  11. You know youโ€™re a smoker whenโ€ฆ your idea of a night out is standing 10 feet away from the bar.
  12. Someone stole my lighter, cigarettes, and vape pen. Now Iโ€™m trying to figure out who would stoop so low.
  13. I saw a smoker using sign language the other day. He was trying to bum an ask.
  14. Smoking is a lot like love: if itโ€™s not on fire, itโ€™s probably out. And if you have to light it yourself, itโ€™s probably not worth it.
  15. I told my friend I was thinking about opening a smoke shop, but I was afraid of the competition. He said, โ€œDonโ€™t worry, itโ€™s not a very crowded market!โ€

Smoker Puns & Jokes for Kids: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Your Ash Off

  1. Why donโ€™t they let smokers work at the bakery? Theyโ€™d always want a smoke break!
  2. What do you get if you cross a smoker and a magician? Someone who can make their money disappear in a puff of smoke!
  3. What did the smoker say to his lighter? โ€œYou really spark my interest!โ€
  4. Why do smokers always have a lighter in their pocket? They like to keep their best buds close!
  5. Knock, Knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoke. Smoke who? Smoke you later, I gotta run!
  6. What do you call a smoker whoโ€™s always coughing? A hack-tivist!
  7. Why did the smoker cross the road? He ran out of breath halfway!
  8. What does a smoker do when theyโ€™re feeling cold? They light up a fire-nd!
  9. Why did the smoker get in trouble at school? He was caught passing notesโ€ฆ about quitting!
  10. Whatโ€™s a smokerโ€™s favorite type of music? Anything with a catchy flue!
  11. Why are smokers such good storytellers? They always have a captive audience!
  12. Whatโ€™s a smokerโ€™s favorite game to play? Hide and seekโ€ฆ for their lighter!
  13. What do you call a smoker whoโ€™s always losing things? A forget-me-notโ€ฆ because they canโ€™t remember where they left their cigarettes!
  14. Why did the smoker get lost in the woods? They followed the wrong smoke signals!
  15. How can you tell if a smoker is lying? Their lips are sealedโ€ฆ around a cigarette!

Smokinโ€™ Hot Smoker Double Entendres Puns That Will Leave You Cackling ๐Ÿ˜‚

  1. I told my friend his new smoker grill was impressive. He said, โ€œThanks, it took me a while to get this good at smoking meat.
  2. You know a smoker is serious about barbecue when they have a meat thermometer for each nostril.
  3. My grandpaโ€™s been a chain smoker his whole lifeโ€ฆ of sausages. The man loves a good barbecue.
  4. Tried to explain to my dog that the brisket was โ€œfor the smoker, not for the barker.โ€ He didnโ€™t seem to understand.
  5. I failed my driving test because the instructor said my car was a smoker. I guess I should have left the barbecue grill at home.
  6. Why did the smoker cross the road? To get to the lighter fluid on the other side!
  7. Dating a smoker is tough. Especially when theyโ€™re constantly trying to โ€œset the moodโ€ with hickory.
  8. My doctor told me I need to stop smoking meats immediately. Apparently, my cholesterol levels are โ€œoff the charts.โ€
  9. I used to be a cold smoker, but I turned things around. Now Iโ€™m hot stuff.
  10. They say smoking ages you. My smoker seems to age everything BUT itself โ€“ itโ€™s ancient and still going strong!
  11. I met a guy at a barbecue competition who claimed to be a professional smoker. Turns out, he was just really good at blowing smoke rings.
  12. Heard a rumor that thereโ€™s a new smoker in town thatโ€™s smokinโ€™ hot. Havenโ€™t seen it, but the pulled pork is out of this world!
  13. What do you call a smoker who always wins barbecue competitions? A real grill master!
  14. I told my friend I was building a smoker from scratch. He said, โ€œArenโ€™t you going to use a recipe?โ€ I said, โ€œNah, Iโ€™m making it up as I go!โ€
  15. My smoker is like a time machineโ€ฆ I put a 12-pound brisket in, and 12 hours later, itโ€™s like Iโ€™ve traveled to flavor town.

Smoker Recursive Puns: These Jokes Really Smoke the Competition ๐Ÿ’จ๐Ÿ˜‚

  1. Why donโ€™t smokers ever get lost? Because theyโ€™re always following their smoke signalsโ€ฆor at least, thatโ€™s what the smoker who told me said.
  2. How can you tell a smoker is lying? Their pants are on fireโ€ฆor so I heard from a smoker who heard it from a smoker.
  3. Whatโ€™s a smokerโ€™s favorite genre of music? Anything they can find on vinylโ€ฆwait, a smoker told me that, maybe itโ€™s not true.
  4. A smoker walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, โ€œTheyโ€™re right behind you!โ€ The smoker replies, โ€œYeah, I heard thatโ€™s where they keep the good stuffโ€ฆor did another smoker tell me that?โ€
  5. Why did the smoker cross the road? I forgotโ€ฆ Must have been something a smoker told me.
  6. How many smokers does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but theyโ€™ll take a smoke break every two turnsโ€ฆ or at least thatโ€™s what this smoker told me.
  7. Never ask a smoker for advice. Theyโ€™ll tell you to take a hikeโ€ฆ wait, was that a smoker who told me that?
  8. A smoker walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he hears a high-pitched voice say, โ€œHey, those jeans look really great on you!โ€ The smoker looks around but sees nothing. He then returns to his drink thinking nothing more of it. But then, a moment later, he hears the same voice again, โ€œI really like what youโ€™ve done with your hair!โ€ He puts his drink down, completely bewildered, and looks around wildly. Still unable to find the source of the voice, he calls over to the bartender, โ€œHey! Whatโ€™s that voice I keep hearing?โ€ โ€œThose are the peanuts,โ€ the bartender replies. โ€œTheyโ€™re complimentary.โ€ โ€ฆOr at least thatโ€™s how a smoker told it to me.
  9. Why did the smoker bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the houseโ€ฆor was that another smoker trying to trick me?
  10. You know youโ€™ve been talking to a smoker too long whenโ€ฆ you start craving a cigarette. Wait, are you thinking that because youโ€™re talking to me right now?
  11. Whatโ€™s the difference between a smoker and a non-smoker? A non-smoker will borrow your lighter and give it back. A smoker will give you back a lighterโ€ฆ but it might not be yours. Or maybe thatโ€™s just what we want you to thinkโ€ฆ
  12. Why was the smoker looking for a lighter? Because they lost their train of thoughtโ€ฆor maybe because their lighter actually was lost, I donโ€™t know, Iโ€™m just a pun-telling AI.
  13. What do you get when you cross a smoker with a detective? Someone who can really clear a roomโ€ฆor at least thatโ€™s the punchline the smoker I stole this joke from used.
  14. Whatโ€™s a smokerโ€™s favorite type of humor? Dry humorโ€ฆbecause theyโ€™re always lighting things up. And on that note, Iโ€™m outta here. Donโ€™t blame me, Iโ€™m just following the scriptโ€ฆthat a smoker probably wrote.

Smoker QnA Jokes & Puns: A Cough-Out-Loud Comedy Collection

  1. Q: Why did the smoker cross the road? A: To get to the gas stationโ€ฆ because apparently, walking and chewing gum is also too much for them.
  2. Q: What do you call a smoker whoโ€™s always losing their lighters? A: A โ€œflameโ€ chaser!
  3. Q: Whatโ€™s a smokerโ€™s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good โ€œlighterโ€ theme!
  4. Q: Why donโ€™t smokers play cards in the rainforest? A: Too many cheetahs! And theyโ€™re already short of breath.
  5. Q: Whatโ€™s a smokerโ€™s favorite Shakespeare play? A: โ€œMuch Ado About Nothingโ€ (because theyโ€™re burning money).
  6. Q: How do you know someoneโ€™s a smoker without them telling you? A: Theyโ€™ll tell you!
  7. Q: Why do smokers always bring a pack of gum? A: For their friendsโ€ฆ who can actually still taste things.
  8. Q: Whatโ€™s a smokerโ€™s favorite drink? A: Waterโ€ฆ after a long coughing fit.
  9. Q: Why did the smoker fail their driving test? A: They kept trying to use the cigarette lighter to start the car.
  10. Q: What do you call a smoker with a time machine? A: A future ex-smoker!
  11. Q: What does a smoker say when they run out of cigarettes? A: โ€œIโ€™m going for a breath of fresh air!โ€ (and by fresh air, they mean more cigarettes).
  12. Q: Whatโ€™s a smokerโ€™s favorite board game? A: Riskโ€ฆ because theyโ€™re already taking a big one.
  13. Q: Whatโ€™s the difference between a smoker and a chimney? A: You can clean a chimney!
  14. Q: What do you get if you cross a smoker with a magician? A: Someone who can make their money disappear in a puff of smoke!
  15. Q: Why are smokers such good storytellers? A: Theyโ€™re always โ€œpuffingโ€ up their stories!

Smoker Knock-Knock Jokes That Will Leave You In Stitches (And Gasping For Air)

  1. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker you out, gonna find you, gonnaโ€ฆ (cough) excuse me.
  2. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker got your tongue? โ€˜Cause mine feels like itโ€™s got fur.
  3. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker light? This joke is getting kind of dark.
  4. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker sense of humor you got there! Iโ€™ll see myself out.
  5. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker lot of time trying to come up with a better joke, didnโ€™t I?
  6. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker chances Iโ€™ll quit after telling this joke? Zero.
  7. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker breath. Just kidding, itโ€™s me, your dentist!
  8. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker what you did last summer! Specifically, that cigarette break.
  9. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker says these jokes are bad, but I think theyโ€™re pretty lit.
  10. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker a ghost? โ€˜Cause Iโ€™m dying to get in!
  11. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker long, farewell! Iโ€™m off to find a non-smoking section.
  12. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker cheaper to knock on the door than to keep lighting these things.
  13. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker late for a very important dateโ€ฆwith a pack of cigarettes.
  14. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker one, smoker two, smoker threeโ€ฆ Okay, Iโ€™ll stop.
  15. Knock, knock! Whoโ€™s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker you happy, Iโ€™m not sure, but this joke is definitely dragging on.

Smoker Pun Names: Weโ€™re Not Joking, Theyโ€™re Really This Bad (and Puff-fectly Hilarious)

  1. Smokey and the Bandit (a play on the classic film, perfect for a mischievous duo)
  2. Ash Ketchum (a Pokรฉmon master who always leaves a trail of embers)
  3. Nick Oโ€™Teen (a sly detective with a penchant for cigarettes)
  4. Huffalump and Puffalump (a cuddly but constantly combusting duo)
  5. The Carbonator (a villain with breath that could melt steel)
  6. Sir Smokes-a-Lot (a knight who always enters the battlefield shrouded in fog)
  7. Cinder-Ella (a chimney sweep with a magical, smoke-writing Fairy Godmother)
  8. The Smokefather (a mob boss who runs an illicit tobacco empire)
  9. Austin Powers: International Man of Smog (a groovy spy who always carries a lighter)
  10. MC Hammer of Thorax (a rapper known for his fiery lyrics and hacking cough)
  11. The Great Smoky Mountains (a wrestling tag team known for their chokeholds)
  12. The Infern-Os (a heavy metal band fueled by pyrotechnics and asthma inhalers)
  13. Smokey Bear Necessities (a survival guide for clumsy campers prone to starting fires)
  14. Tootsie Pop, the Rootinโ€™ Tootinโ€™ Cowboy (a lollipop outlaw with a candy cigarette)
  15. The Hack Pack (a group of chain-smoking journalists on the trail of a hot story)

Butt Seriously, Quit While You Can!

Well, there you have it, folks! Enough smoke to make a dragon jealous (without the fire hazard, thankfully). We hope these jokes about smokers left you feeling anything but smoked out. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, even if your doctor disagrees and tells you to quit cold turkey. For more pun-derful and hilarious content, explore the rest of our website โ€“ itโ€™s guaranteed to light up your day!

Sarah Ejaz - Creator and Founder of online space ThePunnyWorld.com, a place of endless humor with fresh jokes and puns.

About the Author: Sarah Ejaz

I, Sarah Ejaz, am the creative force behind ThePunnyWorld.com, your premier destination for chuckles and chortles. With my expertise in English Literature and extensive experience as a freelance creative writer, I craft jokes and puns that light up your day. Explore our world for your daily dose of humor, and let the good times roll! Find and read here my Best Puns.

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