Alright, settle in, folks, and get ready to laugh your butts offβ¦ or at least clear your throat a little! π Weβre about to dive into the best, most hilarious world of smoker puns and jokes! π₯ (Donβt worry, these are totally PG β safe for kids and the faint of lung! π). Get ready for a list of clever and positively funny wordplay thatβs guaranteed to leave you gasping for airβ¦ from laughter, of course! π¨π€£
Top Smoker Puns & Jokes That Will Leave You In Stitches (and Short of Breath, But Mostly Stitches)
- Why donβt smokers ever win at poker? They always fold under pressure!
- I met a smoker who could exhale smoke rings shaped like the alphabet. I guess you could say he was smokinβ his ABCs!
- My friend tried to quit smoking by only lighting up underwater. Turns out, he was just drowning his sorrows!
- What do you call a smokerβs dating profile? Tinder and Kindling.
- Why did the smoker cross the road? He was chasing after his lighter fluid!
- I saw a smoker using sign language. He must have had a cough drop in his mouth!
- Why are smokers always running late? They got caught in a haze!
- My friendβs such a heavy smoker, his birthday candles set off the fire alarm!
- Whatβs a smokerβs favorite Shakespeare play? βMuch Ado About Nothingβ (and a whole lot of coughing).
- I used to be a baker until I realized I was only really good at making smoke rings.
- Why did the smoker get lost in the woods? He followed the wrong cloud!
- How can you spot a smoker on a dating app? They describe themselves as βalways down for a good timeβ¦ and a smoke break.β
- Whatβs a smokerβs favorite genre of music? Anything with a good beatβ¦ and a hacking cough.
- My friend tried to light his cigarette off a volcano. It was a lava-ly bad idea!
- Smokers are really good at telling stories. Especially when theyβre making excuses for needing a smoke break!

Smokinβ Hot One-Liners: Jokes So Funny Theyβll Make You Cough!
- I told a smoker his habit was killing him, he said βWe all gotta go sometime.β I said, βYeah, but why make an appointment?β
- My friend says he quit smoking cold turkey. Iβm not sure, but I think I saw him talking to a ham earlier.
- I used to be a smoker, but I quit. Now, I just complain about not being able to breathe freely⦠for free.
- A smokerβs idea of a balanced diet is a cigarette in each hand.
- Found an old lighter that said βguaranteed for life.β Guess it belonged to a smoker with a good sense of irony.
- My friend says his New Yearβs resolution is to quit smokingβ¦ cigarettes. Heβs moving on to grilling meats.
- They say laughter is the best medicine. Except for smokers. Theyβll take cough drops.
- I saw a smoker using sign language today. He was trying to bum a light, but all he could get was a thumbs up.
- My friendβs a smoker and a contortionist. He can light his cigarette on the back of his own head. Talk about twisted humor!
- How can you tell if someoneβs a smoker at a zoo? Theyβre the ones telling the monkeys to put it out.
- I tried to explain to a smoker that cigarettes are like reverse time travelers⦠they take years off your life and add them to your face.
- Whatβs a smokerβs favorite Shakespeare play? βMuch Ado About Nothingβ (nicotine).
- My grandpa smoked two packs a day until he was 90. He finally quit⦠said it was giving him a cough.
- I asked a smoker for the time, he said, βGive me a minute, gotta light a cigarette.β I said, βIsnβt that ironic?β
- Why donβt smokers play cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
Quotes About Smoker⦠From People Who Clearly Like to Live Dangerously (and Smell Like Ash)
- βA smokerβs idea of a balanced diet is a cigarette in each hand.β
- βIβm not addicted to smoking, weβre just in a very committed relationship.β
- βSmoking: Proof that even with fire alarms, humans will still light things on fire.β
- βI only smoke when Iβm thinkingβ¦ or talkingβ¦ or breathing.β
- βMy therapist told me to avoid stressful situationsβ¦ so I had to quit my job as a pack-a-day smoker.β
- βBehind every successful smoker is a very confused guardian angel.β
- βI tried quitting smoking cold turkey, but the turkey stole my lighter.β
- βLifeβs short. Smoke like itβs a limited-edition cigar you paid way too much for.β (Disclaimer: This is a joke, not an endorsement.)
- βIβm not saying Iβm good at multitasking, but I can cough, wheeze, and apologize for smoking all at the same time.β
- βI donβt have a drinking problem, I have a smoking problemβ¦ I canβt afford to drink anymore.β
- βSmoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.β
- βYou know youβre a smoker when you can smell a fresh pack through a brick wall and six feet of steel.β
- βIβm not a chain smokerβ¦ I prefer to give my lungs a five-minute break between cigarettes.β
- βSure, I could quit smoking, but whereβs the drama in that?β
- βAlways borrow cigarettes from a pessimist. Theyβll never expect them back.β
Dad Jokes about βSmokerβ: Guaranteed to Make You Cough Up Some Laughs
- I met a guy who used to be a smoker but quit cold turkey. I guess he just wasnβt cut out for the poultry lifestyle.
- Why donβt smokers win awards? Because theyβre always getting toasted!
- My friend tried to tell me smoking was a bad habit. I told him, βThatβs just what Big Tobacco wants you to think!β
- Heard about the smoker who went to art school? He specialized in still lifes.
- A smokerβs favorite punctuation mark? The ash-ta risk!
- What do you call a smoker with laryngitis? A text-a-holic!
- I used to date a chain smoker⦠turned out she was just dragging me along.
- My doctor told me to take up smoking to relieve stress. He said itβs the βleast of all evils.β
- I tried to explain to my dad that secondhand smoke is worse than firsthand smoke. He said, βYeah, well, firsthand money is better than secondhand money!β
- Why did the smoker cross the road? He was racing a pack of cigarettes to the store!
- You know youβre a smoker whenβ¦ your idea of a night out is standing 10 feet away from the bar.
- Someone stole my lighter, cigarettes, and vape pen. Now Iβm trying to figure out who would stoop so low.
- I saw a smoker using sign language the other day. He was trying to bum an ask.
- Smoking is a lot like love: if itβs not on fire, itβs probably out. And if you have to light it yourself, itβs probably not worth it.
- I told my friend I was thinking about opening a smoke shop, but I was afraid of the competition. He said, βDonβt worry, itβs not a very crowded market!β
Smoker Puns & Jokes for Kids: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Your Ash Off
- Why donβt they let smokers work at the bakery? Theyβd always want a smoke break!
- What do you get if you cross a smoker and a magician? Someone who can make their money disappear in a puff of smoke!
- What did the smoker say to his lighter? βYou really spark my interest!β
- Why do smokers always have a lighter in their pocket? They like to keep their best buds close!
- Knock, Knock! Whoβs there? Smoke. Smoke who? Smoke you later, I gotta run!
- What do you call a smoker whoβs always coughing? A hack-tivist!
- Why did the smoker cross the road? He ran out of breath halfway!
- What does a smoker do when theyβre feeling cold? They light up a fire-nd!
- Why did the smoker get in trouble at school? He was caught passing notes⦠about quitting!
- Whatβs a smokerβs favorite type of music? Anything with a catchy flue!
- Why are smokers such good storytellers? They always have a captive audience!
- Whatβs a smokerβs favorite game to play? Hide and seekβ¦ for their lighter!
- What do you call a smoker whoβs always losing things? A forget-me-notβ¦ because they canβt remember where they left their cigarettes!
- Why did the smoker get lost in the woods? They followed the wrong smoke signals!
- How can you tell if a smoker is lying? Their lips are sealed⦠around a cigarette!
Smokinβ Hot Smoker Double Entendres Puns That Will Leave You Cackling π
- I told my friend his new smoker grill was impressive. He said, βThanks, it took me a while to get this good at smoking meat.
- You know a smoker is serious about barbecue when they have a meat thermometer for each nostril.
- My grandpaβs been a chain smoker his whole lifeβ¦ of sausages. The man loves a good barbecue.
- Tried to explain to my dog that the brisket was βfor the smoker, not for the barker.β He didnβt seem to understand.
- I failed my driving test because the instructor said my car was a smoker. I guess I should have left the barbecue grill at home.
- Why did the smoker cross the road? To get to the lighter fluid on the other side!
- Dating a smoker is tough. Especially when theyβre constantly trying to βset the moodβ with hickory.
- My doctor told me I need to stop smoking meats immediately. Apparently, my cholesterol levels are βoff the charts.β
- I used to be a cold smoker, but I turned things around. Now Iβm hot stuff.
- They say smoking ages you. My smoker seems to age everything BUT itself β itβs ancient and still going strong!
- I met a guy at a barbecue competition who claimed to be a professional smoker. Turns out, he was just really good at blowing smoke rings.
- Heard a rumor that thereβs a new smoker in town thatβs smokinβ hot. Havenβt seen it, but the pulled pork is out of this world!
- What do you call a smoker who always wins barbecue competitions? A real grill master!
- I told my friend I was building a smoker from scratch. He said, βArenβt you going to use a recipe?β I said, βNah, Iβm making it up as I go!β
- My smoker is like a time machineβ¦ I put a 12-pound brisket in, and 12 hours later, itβs like Iβve traveled to flavor town.
Smoker Recursive Puns: These Jokes Really Smoke the Competition π¨π
- Why donβt smokers ever get lost? Because theyβre always following their smoke signalsβ¦or at least, thatβs what the smoker who told me said.
- How can you tell a smoker is lying? Their pants are on fireβ¦or so I heard from a smoker who heard it from a smoker.
- Whatβs a smokerβs favorite genre of music? Anything they can find on vinylβ¦wait, a smoker told me that, maybe itβs not true.
- A smoker walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, βTheyβre right behind you!β The smoker replies, βYeah, I heard thatβs where they keep the good stuffβ¦or did another smoker tell me that?β
- Why did the smoker cross the road? I forgot⦠Must have been something a smoker told me.
- How many smokers does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but theyβll take a smoke break every two turnsβ¦ or at least thatβs what this smoker told me.
- Never ask a smoker for advice. Theyβll tell you to take a hikeβ¦ wait, was that a smoker who told me that?
- A smoker walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he hears a high-pitched voice say, βHey, those jeans look really great on you!β The smoker looks around but sees nothing. He then returns to his drink thinking nothing more of it. But then, a moment later, he hears the same voice again, βI really like what youβve done with your hair!β He puts his drink down, completely bewildered, and looks around wildly. Still unable to find the source of the voice, he calls over to the bartender, βHey! Whatβs that voice I keep hearing?β βThose are the peanuts,β the bartender replies. βTheyβre complimentary.β β¦Or at least thatβs how a smoker told it to me.
- Why did the smoker bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the houseβ¦or was that another smoker trying to trick me?
- You know youβve been talking to a smoker too long whenβ¦ you start craving a cigarette. Wait, are you thinking that because youβre talking to me right now?
- Whatβs the difference between a smoker and a non-smoker? A non-smoker will borrow your lighter and give it back. A smoker will give you back a lighterβ¦ but it might not be yours. Or maybe thatβs just what we want you to thinkβ¦
- Why was the smoker looking for a lighter? Because they lost their train of thoughtβ¦or maybe because their lighter actually was lost, I donβt know, Iβm just a pun-telling AI.
- What do you get when you cross a smoker with a detective? Someone who can really clear a roomβ¦or at least thatβs the punchline the smoker I stole this joke from used.
- Whatβs a smokerβs favorite type of humor? Dry humorβ¦because theyβre always lighting things up. And on that note, Iβm outta here. Donβt blame me, Iβm just following the scriptβ¦that a smoker probably wrote.
Smoker QnA Jokes & Puns: A Cough-Out-Loud Comedy Collection
- Q: Why did the smoker cross the road? A: To get to the gas station⦠because apparently, walking and chewing gum is also too much for them.
- Q: What do you call a smoker whoβs always losing their lighters? A: A βflameβ chaser!
- Q: Whatβs a smokerβs favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good βlighterβ theme!
- Q: Why donβt smokers play cards in the rainforest? A: Too many cheetahs! And theyβre already short of breath.
- Q: Whatβs a smokerβs favorite Shakespeare play? A: βMuch Ado About Nothingβ (because theyβre burning money).
- Q: How do you know someoneβs a smoker without them telling you? A: Theyβll tell you!
- Q: Why do smokers always bring a pack of gum? A: For their friends⦠who can actually still taste things.
- Q: Whatβs a smokerβs favorite drink? A: Waterβ¦ after a long coughing fit.
- Q: Why did the smoker fail their driving test? A: They kept trying to use the cigarette lighter to start the car.
- Q: What do you call a smoker with a time machine? A: A future ex-smoker!
- Q: What does a smoker say when they run out of cigarettes? A: βIβm going for a breath of fresh air!β (and by fresh air, they mean more cigarettes).
- Q: Whatβs a smokerβs favorite board game? A: Riskβ¦ because theyβre already taking a big one.
- Q: Whatβs the difference between a smoker and a chimney? A: You can clean a chimney!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a smoker with a magician? A: Someone who can make their money disappear in a puff of smoke!
- Q: Why are smokers such good storytellers? A: Theyβre always βpuffingβ up their stories!
Smoker Knock-Knock Jokes That Will Leave You In Stitches (And Gasping For Air)
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker you out, gonna find you, gonnaβ¦ (cough) excuse me.
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker got your tongue? βCause mine feels like itβs got fur.
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker light? This joke is getting kind of dark.
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker sense of humor you got there! Iβll see myself out.
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker lot of time trying to come up with a better joke, didnβt I?
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker chances Iβll quit after telling this joke? Zero.
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker breath. Just kidding, itβs me, your dentist!
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker what you did last summer! Specifically, that cigarette break.
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker says these jokes are bad, but I think theyβre pretty lit.
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker a ghost? βCause Iβm dying to get in!
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker long, farewell! Iβm off to find a non-smoking section.
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker cheaper to knock on the door than to keep lighting these things.
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker late for a very important dateβ¦with a pack of cigarettes.
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker one, smoker two, smoker threeβ¦ Okay, Iβll stop.
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker you happy, Iβm not sure, but this joke is definitely dragging on.
Smoker Pun Names: Weβre Not Joking, Theyβre Really This Bad (and Puff-fectly Hilarious)
- Smokey and the Bandit (a play on the classic film, perfect for a mischievous duo)
- Ash Ketchum (a PokΓ©mon master who always leaves a trail of embers)
- Nick OβTeen (a sly detective with a penchant for cigarettes)
- Huffalump and Puffalump (a cuddly but constantly combusting duo)
- The Carbonator (a villain with breath that could melt steel)
- Sir Smokes-a-Lot (a knight who always enters the battlefield shrouded in fog)
- Cinder-Ella (a chimney sweep with a magical, smoke-writing Fairy Godmother)
- The Smokefather (a mob boss who runs an illicit tobacco empire)
- Austin Powers: International Man of Smog (a groovy spy who always carries a lighter)
- MC Hammer of Thorax (a rapper known for his fiery lyrics and hacking cough)
- The Great Smoky Mountains (a wrestling tag team known for their chokeholds)
- The Infern-Os (a heavy metal band fueled by pyrotechnics and asthma inhalers)
- Smokey Bear Necessities (a survival guide for clumsy campers prone to starting fires)
- Tootsie Pop, the Rootinβ Tootinβ Cowboy (a lollipop outlaw with a candy cigarette)
- The Hack Pack (a group of chain-smoking journalists on the trail of a hot story)
Butt Seriously, Quit While You Can!
Well, there you have it, folks! Enough smoke to make a dragon jealous (without the fire hazard, thankfully). We hope these jokes about smokers left you feeling anything but smoked out. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, even if your doctor disagrees and tells you to quit cold turkey. For more pun-derful and hilarious content, explore the rest of our website β itβs guaranteed to light up your day!
