Alright, settle in, folks, and get ready to laugh your butts off… or at least clear your throat a little! 😂 We’re about to dive into the best, most hilarious world of smoker puns and jokes! 🔥 (Don’t worry, these are totally PG – safe for kids and the faint of lung! 😉). Get ready for a list of clever and positively funny wordplay that’s guaranteed to leave you gasping for air… from laughter, of course! 💨🤣
Top Smoker Puns & Jokes That Will Leave You In Stitches (and Short of Breath, But Mostly Stitches)
- Why don’t smokers ever win at poker? They always fold under pressure!
- I met a smoker who could exhale smoke rings shaped like the alphabet. I guess you could say he was smokin’ his ABCs!
- My friend tried to quit smoking by only lighting up underwater. Turns out, he was just drowning his sorrows!
- What do you call a smoker’s dating profile? Tinder and Kindling.
- Why did the smoker cross the road? He was chasing after his lighter fluid!
- I saw a smoker using sign language. He must have had a cough drop in his mouth!
- Why are smokers always running late? They got caught in a haze!
- My friend’s such a heavy smoker, his birthday candles set off the fire alarm!
- What’s a smoker’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Much Ado About Nothing” (and a whole lot of coughing).
- I used to be a baker until I realized I was only really good at making smoke rings.
- Why did the smoker get lost in the woods? He followed the wrong cloud!
- How can you spot a smoker on a dating app? They describe themselves as “always down for a good time… and a smoke break.”
- What’s a smoker’s favorite genre of music? Anything with a good beat… and a hacking cough.
- My friend tried to light his cigarette off a volcano. It was a lava-ly bad idea!
- Smokers are really good at telling stories. Especially when they’re making excuses for needing a smoke break!

Smokin’ Hot One-Liners: Jokes So Funny They’ll Make You Cough!
- I told a smoker his habit was killing him, he said “We all gotta go sometime.” I said, “Yeah, but why make an appointment?”
- My friend says he quit smoking cold turkey. I’m not sure, but I think I saw him talking to a ham earlier.
- I used to be a smoker, but I quit. Now, I just complain about not being able to breathe freely… for free.
- A smoker’s idea of a balanced diet is a cigarette in each hand.
- Found an old lighter that said “guaranteed for life.” Guess it belonged to a smoker with a good sense of irony.
- My friend says his New Year’s resolution is to quit smoking… cigarettes. He’s moving on to grilling meats.
- They say laughter is the best medicine. Except for smokers. They’ll take cough drops.
- I saw a smoker using sign language today. He was trying to bum a light, but all he could get was a thumbs up.
- My friend’s a smoker and a contortionist. He can light his cigarette on the back of his own head. Talk about twisted humor!
- How can you tell if someone’s a smoker at a zoo? They’re the ones telling the monkeys to put it out.
- I tried to explain to a smoker that cigarettes are like reverse time travelers… they take years off your life and add them to your face.
- What’s a smoker’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Much Ado About Nothing” (nicotine).
- My grandpa smoked two packs a day until he was 90. He finally quit… said it was giving him a cough.
- I asked a smoker for the time, he said, “Give me a minute, gotta light a cigarette.” I said, “Isn’t that ironic?”
- Why don’t smokers play cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
Quotes About Smoker… From People Who Clearly Like to Live Dangerously (and Smell Like Ash)
- “A smoker’s idea of a balanced diet is a cigarette in each hand.”
- “I’m not addicted to smoking, we’re just in a very committed relationship.”
- “Smoking: Proof that even with fire alarms, humans will still light things on fire.”
- “I only smoke when I’m thinking… or talking… or breathing.”
- “My therapist told me to avoid stressful situations… so I had to quit my job as a pack-a-day smoker.”
- “Behind every successful smoker is a very confused guardian angel.”
- “I tried quitting smoking cold turkey, but the turkey stole my lighter.”
- “Life’s short. Smoke like it’s a limited-edition cigar you paid way too much for.” (Disclaimer: This is a joke, not an endorsement.)
- “I’m not saying I’m good at multitasking, but I can cough, wheeze, and apologize for smoking all at the same time.”
- “I don’t have a drinking problem, I have a smoking problem… I can’t afford to drink anymore.”
- “Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.”
- “You know you’re a smoker when you can smell a fresh pack through a brick wall and six feet of steel.”
- “I’m not a chain smoker… I prefer to give my lungs a five-minute break between cigarettes.”
- “Sure, I could quit smoking, but where’s the drama in that?”
- “Always borrow cigarettes from a pessimist. They’ll never expect them back.”
Dad Jokes about “Smoker”: Guaranteed to Make You Cough Up Some Laughs
- I met a guy who used to be a smoker but quit cold turkey. I guess he just wasn’t cut out for the poultry lifestyle.
- Why don’t smokers win awards? Because they’re always getting toasted!
- My friend tried to tell me smoking was a bad habit. I told him, “That’s just what Big Tobacco wants you to think!”
- Heard about the smoker who went to art school? He specialized in still lifes.
- A smoker’s favorite punctuation mark? The ash-ta risk!
- What do you call a smoker with laryngitis? A text-a-holic!
- I used to date a chain smoker… turned out she was just dragging me along.
- My doctor told me to take up smoking to relieve stress. He said it’s the “least of all evils.”
- I tried to explain to my dad that secondhand smoke is worse than firsthand smoke. He said, “Yeah, well, firsthand money is better than secondhand money!”
- Why did the smoker cross the road? He was racing a pack of cigarettes to the store!
- You know you’re a smoker when… your idea of a night out is standing 10 feet away from the bar.
- Someone stole my lighter, cigarettes, and vape pen. Now I’m trying to figure out who would stoop so low.
- I saw a smoker using sign language the other day. He was trying to bum an ask.
- Smoking is a lot like love: if it’s not on fire, it’s probably out. And if you have to light it yourself, it’s probably not worth it.
- I told my friend I was thinking about opening a smoke shop, but I was afraid of the competition. He said, “Don’t worry, it’s not a very crowded market!”
Smoker Puns & Jokes for Kids: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Your Ash Off
- Why don’t they let smokers work at the bakery? They’d always want a smoke break!
- What do you get if you cross a smoker and a magician? Someone who can make their money disappear in a puff of smoke!
- What did the smoker say to his lighter? “You really spark my interest!”
- Why do smokers always have a lighter in their pocket? They like to keep their best buds close!
- Knock, Knock! Who’s there? Smoke. Smoke who? Smoke you later, I gotta run!
- What do you call a smoker who’s always coughing? A hack-tivist!
- Why did the smoker cross the road? He ran out of breath halfway!
- What does a smoker do when they’re feeling cold? They light up a fire-nd!
- Why did the smoker get in trouble at school? He was caught passing notes… about quitting!
- What’s a smoker’s favorite type of music? Anything with a catchy flue!
- Why are smokers such good storytellers? They always have a captive audience!
- What’s a smoker’s favorite game to play? Hide and seek… for their lighter!
- What do you call a smoker who’s always losing things? A forget-me-not… because they can’t remember where they left their cigarettes!
- Why did the smoker get lost in the woods? They followed the wrong smoke signals!
- How can you tell if a smoker is lying? Their lips are sealed… around a cigarette!
Smokin’ Hot Smoker Double Entendres Puns That Will Leave You Cackling 😂
- I told my friend his new smoker grill was impressive. He said, “Thanks, it took me a while to get this good at smoking meat.
- You know a smoker is serious about barbecue when they have a meat thermometer for each nostril.
- My grandpa’s been a chain smoker his whole life… of sausages. The man loves a good barbecue.
- Tried to explain to my dog that the brisket was “for the smoker, not for the barker.” He didn’t seem to understand.
- I failed my driving test because the instructor said my car was a smoker. I guess I should have left the barbecue grill at home.
- Why did the smoker cross the road? To get to the lighter fluid on the other side!
- Dating a smoker is tough. Especially when they’re constantly trying to “set the mood” with hickory.
- My doctor told me I need to stop smoking meats immediately. Apparently, my cholesterol levels are “off the charts.”
- I used to be a cold smoker, but I turned things around. Now I’m hot stuff.
- They say smoking ages you. My smoker seems to age everything BUT itself – it’s ancient and still going strong!
- I met a guy at a barbecue competition who claimed to be a professional smoker. Turns out, he was just really good at blowing smoke rings.
- Heard a rumor that there’s a new smoker in town that’s smokin’ hot. Haven’t seen it, but the pulled pork is out of this world!
- What do you call a smoker who always wins barbecue competitions? A real grill master!
- I told my friend I was building a smoker from scratch. He said, “Aren’t you going to use a recipe?” I said, “Nah, I’m making it up as I go!”
- My smoker is like a time machine… I put a 12-pound brisket in, and 12 hours later, it’s like I’ve traveled to flavor town.
Smoker Recursive Puns: These Jokes Really Smoke the Competition 💨😂
- Why don’t smokers ever get lost? Because they’re always following their smoke signals…or at least, that’s what the smoker who told me said.
- How can you tell a smoker is lying? Their pants are on fire…or so I heard from a smoker who heard it from a smoker.
- What’s a smoker’s favorite genre of music? Anything they can find on vinyl…wait, a smoker told me that, maybe it’s not true.
- A smoker walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, “They’re right behind you!” The smoker replies, “Yeah, I heard that’s where they keep the good stuff…or did another smoker tell me that?”
- Why did the smoker cross the road? I forgot… Must have been something a smoker told me.
- How many smokers does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but they’ll take a smoke break every two turns… or at least that’s what this smoker told me.
- Never ask a smoker for advice. They’ll tell you to take a hike… wait, was that a smoker who told me that?
- A smoker walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he hears a high-pitched voice say, “Hey, those jeans look really great on you!” The smoker looks around but sees nothing. He then returns to his drink thinking nothing more of it. But then, a moment later, he hears the same voice again, “I really like what you’ve done with your hair!” He puts his drink down, completely bewildered, and looks around wildly. Still unable to find the source of the voice, he calls over to the bartender, “Hey! What’s that voice I keep hearing?” “Those are the peanuts,” the bartender replies. “They’re complimentary.” …Or at least that’s how a smoker told it to me.
- Why did the smoker bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the house…or was that another smoker trying to trick me?
- You know you’ve been talking to a smoker too long when… you start craving a cigarette. Wait, are you thinking that because you’re talking to me right now?
- What’s the difference between a smoker and a non-smoker? A non-smoker will borrow your lighter and give it back. A smoker will give you back a lighter… but it might not be yours. Or maybe that’s just what we want you to think…
- Why was the smoker looking for a lighter? Because they lost their train of thought…or maybe because their lighter actually was lost, I don’t know, I’m just a pun-telling AI.
- What do you get when you cross a smoker with a detective? Someone who can really clear a room…or at least that’s the punchline the smoker I stole this joke from used.
- What’s a smoker’s favorite type of humor? Dry humor…because they’re always lighting things up. And on that note, I’m outta here. Don’t blame me, I’m just following the script…that a smoker probably wrote.
Smoker QnA Jokes & Puns: A Cough-Out-Loud Comedy Collection
- Q: Why did the smoker cross the road? A: To get to the gas station… because apparently, walking and chewing gum is also too much for them.
- Q: What do you call a smoker who’s always losing their lighters? A: A “flame” chaser!
- Q: What’s a smoker’s favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good “lighter” theme!
- Q: Why don’t smokers play cards in the rainforest? A: Too many cheetahs! And they’re already short of breath.
- Q: What’s a smoker’s favorite Shakespeare play? A: “Much Ado About Nothing” (because they’re burning money).
- Q: How do you know someone’s a smoker without them telling you? A: They’ll tell you!
- Q: Why do smokers always bring a pack of gum? A: For their friends… who can actually still taste things.
- Q: What’s a smoker’s favorite drink? A: Water… after a long coughing fit.
- Q: Why did the smoker fail their driving test? A: They kept trying to use the cigarette lighter to start the car.
- Q: What do you call a smoker with a time machine? A: A future ex-smoker!
- Q: What does a smoker say when they run out of cigarettes? A: “I’m going for a breath of fresh air!” (and by fresh air, they mean more cigarettes).
- Q: What’s a smoker’s favorite board game? A: Risk… because they’re already taking a big one.
- Q: What’s the difference between a smoker and a chimney? A: You can clean a chimney!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a smoker with a magician? A: Someone who can make their money disappear in a puff of smoke!
- Q: Why are smokers such good storytellers? A: They’re always “puffing” up their stories!
Smoker Knock-Knock Jokes That Will Leave You In Stitches (And Gasping For Air)
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker you out, gonna find you, gonna… (cough) excuse me.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker got your tongue? ‘Cause mine feels like it’s got fur.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker light? This joke is getting kind of dark.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker sense of humor you got there! I’ll see myself out.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker lot of time trying to come up with a better joke, didn’t I?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker chances I’ll quit after telling this joke? Zero.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker breath. Just kidding, it’s me, your dentist!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker what you did last summer! Specifically, that cigarette break.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker says these jokes are bad, but I think they’re pretty lit.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker a ghost? ‘Cause I’m dying to get in!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker long, farewell! I’m off to find a non-smoking section.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker cheaper to knock on the door than to keep lighting these things.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker late for a very important date…with a pack of cigarettes.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker one, smoker two, smoker three… Okay, I’ll stop.
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker you happy, I’m not sure, but this joke is definitely dragging on.
Smoker Pun Names: We’re Not Joking, They’re Really This Bad (and Puff-fectly Hilarious)
- Smokey and the Bandit (a play on the classic film, perfect for a mischievous duo)
- Ash Ketchum (a Pokémon master who always leaves a trail of embers)
- Nick O’Teen (a sly detective with a penchant for cigarettes)
- Huffalump and Puffalump (a cuddly but constantly combusting duo)
- The Carbonator (a villain with breath that could melt steel)
- Sir Smokes-a-Lot (a knight who always enters the battlefield shrouded in fog)
- Cinder-Ella (a chimney sweep with a magical, smoke-writing Fairy Godmother)
- The Smokefather (a mob boss who runs an illicit tobacco empire)
- Austin Powers: International Man of Smog (a groovy spy who always carries a lighter)
- MC Hammer of Thorax (a rapper known for his fiery lyrics and hacking cough)
- The Great Smoky Mountains (a wrestling tag team known for their chokeholds)
- The Infern-Os (a heavy metal band fueled by pyrotechnics and asthma inhalers)
- Smokey Bear Necessities (a survival guide for clumsy campers prone to starting fires)
- Tootsie Pop, the Rootin’ Tootin’ Cowboy (a lollipop outlaw with a candy cigarette)
- The Hack Pack (a group of chain-smoking journalists on the trail of a hot story)
Butt Seriously, Quit While You Can!
Well, there you have it, folks! Enough smoke to make a dragon jealous (without the fire hazard, thankfully). We hope these jokes about smokers left you feeling anything but smoked out. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, even if your doctor disagrees and tells you to quit cold turkey. For more pun-derful and hilarious content, explore the rest of our website – it’s guaranteed to light up your day!
