Alright, settle in, folks, and get ready to laugh your butts offโฆ or at least clear your throat a little! ๐ Weโre about to dive into the best, most hilarious world of smoker puns and jokes! ๐ฅ (Donโt worry, these are totally PG โ safe for kids and the faint of lung! ๐). Get ready for a list of clever and positively funny wordplay thatโs guaranteed to leave you gasping for airโฆ from laughter, of course! ๐จ๐คฃ
Top Smoker Puns & Jokes That Will Leave You In Stitches (and Short of Breath, But Mostly Stitches)
- Why donโt smokers ever win at poker? They always fold under pressure!
- I met a smoker who could exhale smoke rings shaped like the alphabet. I guess you could say he was smokinโ his ABCs!
- My friend tried to quit smoking by only lighting up underwater. Turns out, he was just drowning his sorrows!
- What do you call a smokerโs dating profile? Tinder and Kindling.
- Why did the smoker cross the road? He was chasing after his lighter fluid!
- I saw a smoker using sign language. He must have had a cough drop in his mouth!
- Why are smokers always running late? They got caught in a haze!
- My friendโs such a heavy smoker, his birthday candles set off the fire alarm!
- Whatโs a smokerโs favorite Shakespeare play? โMuch Ado About Nothingโ (and a whole lot of coughing).
- I used to be a baker until I realized I was only really good at making smoke rings.
- Why did the smoker get lost in the woods? He followed the wrong cloud!
- How can you spot a smoker on a dating app? They describe themselves as โalways down for a good timeโฆ and a smoke break.โ
- Whatโs a smokerโs favorite genre of music? Anything with a good beatโฆ and a hacking cough.
- My friend tried to light his cigarette off a volcano. It was a lava-ly bad idea!
- Smokers are really good at telling stories. Especially when theyโre making excuses for needing a smoke break!

Smokinโ Hot One-Liners: Jokes So Funny Theyโll Make You Cough!
- I told a smoker his habit was killing him, he said โWe all gotta go sometime.โ I said, โYeah, but why make an appointment?โ
- My friend says he quit smoking cold turkey. Iโm not sure, but I think I saw him talking to a ham earlier.
- I used to be a smoker, but I quit. Now, I just complain about not being able to breathe freelyโฆ for free.
- A smokerโs idea of a balanced diet is a cigarette in each hand.
- Found an old lighter that said โguaranteed for life.โ Guess it belonged to a smoker with a good sense of irony.
- My friend says his New Yearโs resolution is to quit smokingโฆ cigarettes. Heโs moving on to grilling meats.
- They say laughter is the best medicine. Except for smokers. Theyโll take cough drops.
- I saw a smoker using sign language today. He was trying to bum a light, but all he could get was a thumbs up.
- My friendโs a smoker and a contortionist. He can light his cigarette on the back of his own head. Talk about twisted humor!
- How can you tell if someoneโs a smoker at a zoo? Theyโre the ones telling the monkeys to put it out.
- I tried to explain to a smoker that cigarettes are like reverse time travelersโฆ they take years off your life and add them to your face.
- Whatโs a smokerโs favorite Shakespeare play? โMuch Ado About Nothingโ (nicotine).
- My grandpa smoked two packs a day until he was 90. He finally quitโฆ said it was giving him a cough.
- I asked a smoker for the time, he said, โGive me a minute, gotta light a cigarette.โ I said, โIsnโt that ironic?โ
- Why donโt smokers play cards in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
Quotes About Smokerโฆ From People Who Clearly Like to Live Dangerously (and Smell Like Ash)
- โA smokerโs idea of a balanced diet is a cigarette in each hand.โ
- โIโm not addicted to smoking, weโre just in a very committed relationship.โ
- โSmoking: Proof that even with fire alarms, humans will still light things on fire.โ
- โI only smoke when Iโm thinkingโฆ or talkingโฆ or breathing.โ
- โMy therapist told me to avoid stressful situationsโฆ so I had to quit my job as a pack-a-day smoker.โ
- โBehind every successful smoker is a very confused guardian angel.โ
- โI tried quitting smoking cold turkey, but the turkey stole my lighter.โ
- โLifeโs short. Smoke like itโs a limited-edition cigar you paid way too much for.โ (Disclaimer: This is a joke, not an endorsement.)
- โIโm not saying Iโm good at multitasking, but I can cough, wheeze, and apologize for smoking all at the same time.โ
- โI donโt have a drinking problem, I have a smoking problemโฆ I canโt afford to drink anymore.โ
- โSmoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.โ
- โYou know youโre a smoker when you can smell a fresh pack through a brick wall and six feet of steel.โ
- โIโm not a chain smokerโฆ I prefer to give my lungs a five-minute break between cigarettes.โ
- โSure, I could quit smoking, but whereโs the drama in that?โ
- โAlways borrow cigarettes from a pessimist. Theyโll never expect them back.โ
Dad Jokes about โSmokerโ: Guaranteed to Make You Cough Up Some Laughs
- I met a guy who used to be a smoker but quit cold turkey. I guess he just wasnโt cut out for the poultry lifestyle.
- Why donโt smokers win awards? Because theyโre always getting toasted!
- My friend tried to tell me smoking was a bad habit. I told him, โThatโs just what Big Tobacco wants you to think!โ
- Heard about the smoker who went to art school? He specialized in still lifes.
- A smokerโs favorite punctuation mark? The ash-ta risk!
- What do you call a smoker with laryngitis? A text-a-holic!
- I used to date a chain smokerโฆ turned out she was just dragging me along.
- My doctor told me to take up smoking to relieve stress. He said itโs the โleast of all evils.โ
- I tried to explain to my dad that secondhand smoke is worse than firsthand smoke. He said, โYeah, well, firsthand money is better than secondhand money!โ
- Why did the smoker cross the road? He was racing a pack of cigarettes to the store!
- You know youโre a smoker whenโฆ your idea of a night out is standing 10 feet away from the bar.
- Someone stole my lighter, cigarettes, and vape pen. Now Iโm trying to figure out who would stoop so low.
- I saw a smoker using sign language the other day. He was trying to bum an ask.
- Smoking is a lot like love: if itโs not on fire, itโs probably out. And if you have to light it yourself, itโs probably not worth it.
- I told my friend I was thinking about opening a smoke shop, but I was afraid of the competition. He said, โDonโt worry, itโs not a very crowded market!โ
Smoker Puns & Jokes for Kids: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Your Ash Off
- Why donโt they let smokers work at the bakery? Theyโd always want a smoke break!
- What do you get if you cross a smoker and a magician? Someone who can make their money disappear in a puff of smoke!
- What did the smoker say to his lighter? โYou really spark my interest!โ
- Why do smokers always have a lighter in their pocket? They like to keep their best buds close!
- Knock, Knock! Whoโs there? Smoke. Smoke who? Smoke you later, I gotta run!
- What do you call a smoker whoโs always coughing? A hack-tivist!
- Why did the smoker cross the road? He ran out of breath halfway!
- What does a smoker do when theyโre feeling cold? They light up a fire-nd!
- Why did the smoker get in trouble at school? He was caught passing notesโฆ about quitting!
- Whatโs a smokerโs favorite type of music? Anything with a catchy flue!
- Why are smokers such good storytellers? They always have a captive audience!
- Whatโs a smokerโs favorite game to play? Hide and seekโฆ for their lighter!
- What do you call a smoker whoโs always losing things? A forget-me-notโฆ because they canโt remember where they left their cigarettes!
- Why did the smoker get lost in the woods? They followed the wrong smoke signals!
- How can you tell if a smoker is lying? Their lips are sealedโฆ around a cigarette!
Smokinโ Hot Smoker Double Entendres Puns That Will Leave You Cackling ๐
- I told my friend his new smoker grill was impressive. He said, โThanks, it took me a while to get this good at smoking meat.
- You know a smoker is serious about barbecue when they have a meat thermometer for each nostril.
- My grandpaโs been a chain smoker his whole lifeโฆ of sausages. The man loves a good barbecue.
- Tried to explain to my dog that the brisket was โfor the smoker, not for the barker.โ He didnโt seem to understand.
- I failed my driving test because the instructor said my car was a smoker. I guess I should have left the barbecue grill at home.
- Why did the smoker cross the road? To get to the lighter fluid on the other side!
- Dating a smoker is tough. Especially when theyโre constantly trying to โset the moodโ with hickory.
- My doctor told me I need to stop smoking meats immediately. Apparently, my cholesterol levels are โoff the charts.โ
- I used to be a cold smoker, but I turned things around. Now Iโm hot stuff.
- They say smoking ages you. My smoker seems to age everything BUT itself โ itโs ancient and still going strong!
- I met a guy at a barbecue competition who claimed to be a professional smoker. Turns out, he was just really good at blowing smoke rings.
- Heard a rumor that thereโs a new smoker in town thatโs smokinโ hot. Havenโt seen it, but the pulled pork is out of this world!
- What do you call a smoker who always wins barbecue competitions? A real grill master!
- I told my friend I was building a smoker from scratch. He said, โArenโt you going to use a recipe?โ I said, โNah, Iโm making it up as I go!โ
- My smoker is like a time machineโฆ I put a 12-pound brisket in, and 12 hours later, itโs like Iโve traveled to flavor town.
Smoker Recursive Puns: These Jokes Really Smoke the Competition ๐จ๐
- Why donโt smokers ever get lost? Because theyโre always following their smoke signalsโฆor at least, thatโs what the smoker who told me said.
- How can you tell a smoker is lying? Their pants are on fireโฆor so I heard from a smoker who heard it from a smoker.
- Whatโs a smokerโs favorite genre of music? Anything they can find on vinylโฆwait, a smoker told me that, maybe itโs not true.
- A smoker walks into a library and asks for books about paranoia. The librarian whispers, โTheyโre right behind you!โ The smoker replies, โYeah, I heard thatโs where they keep the good stuffโฆor did another smoker tell me that?โ
- Why did the smoker cross the road? I forgotโฆ Must have been something a smoker told me.
- How many smokers does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but theyโll take a smoke break every two turnsโฆ or at least thatโs what this smoker told me.
- Never ask a smoker for advice. Theyโll tell you to take a hikeโฆ wait, was that a smoker who told me that?
- A smoker walks into a bar and orders a drink. Then he hears a high-pitched voice say, โHey, those jeans look really great on you!โ The smoker looks around but sees nothing. He then returns to his drink thinking nothing more of it. But then, a moment later, he hears the same voice again, โI really like what youโve done with your hair!โ He puts his drink down, completely bewildered, and looks around wildly. Still unable to find the source of the voice, he calls over to the bartender, โHey! Whatโs that voice I keep hearing?โ โThose are the peanuts,โ the bartender replies. โTheyโre complimentary.โ โฆOr at least thatโs how a smoker told it to me.
- Why did the smoker bring a ladder to the bar? Because they heard the drinks were on the houseโฆor was that another smoker trying to trick me?
- You know youโve been talking to a smoker too long whenโฆ you start craving a cigarette. Wait, are you thinking that because youโre talking to me right now?
- Whatโs the difference between a smoker and a non-smoker? A non-smoker will borrow your lighter and give it back. A smoker will give you back a lighterโฆ but it might not be yours. Or maybe thatโs just what we want you to thinkโฆ
- Why was the smoker looking for a lighter? Because they lost their train of thoughtโฆor maybe because their lighter actually was lost, I donโt know, Iโm just a pun-telling AI.
- What do you get when you cross a smoker with a detective? Someone who can really clear a roomโฆor at least thatโs the punchline the smoker I stole this joke from used.
- Whatโs a smokerโs favorite type of humor? Dry humorโฆbecause theyโre always lighting things up. And on that note, Iโm outta here. Donโt blame me, Iโm just following the scriptโฆthat a smoker probably wrote.
Smoker QnA Jokes & Puns: A Cough-Out-Loud Comedy Collection
- Q: Why did the smoker cross the road? A: To get to the gas stationโฆ because apparently, walking and chewing gum is also too much for them.
- Q: What do you call a smoker whoโs always losing their lighters? A: A โflameโ chaser!
- Q: Whatโs a smokerโs favorite type of music? A: Anything with a good โlighterโ theme!
- Q: Why donโt smokers play cards in the rainforest? A: Too many cheetahs! And theyโre already short of breath.
- Q: Whatโs a smokerโs favorite Shakespeare play? A: โMuch Ado About Nothingโ (because theyโre burning money).
- Q: How do you know someoneโs a smoker without them telling you? A: Theyโll tell you!
- Q: Why do smokers always bring a pack of gum? A: For their friendsโฆ who can actually still taste things.
- Q: Whatโs a smokerโs favorite drink? A: Waterโฆ after a long coughing fit.
- Q: Why did the smoker fail their driving test? A: They kept trying to use the cigarette lighter to start the car.
- Q: What do you call a smoker with a time machine? A: A future ex-smoker!
- Q: What does a smoker say when they run out of cigarettes? A: โIโm going for a breath of fresh air!โ (and by fresh air, they mean more cigarettes).
- Q: Whatโs a smokerโs favorite board game? A: Riskโฆ because theyโre already taking a big one.
- Q: Whatโs the difference between a smoker and a chimney? A: You can clean a chimney!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a smoker with a magician? A: Someone who can make their money disappear in a puff of smoke!
- Q: Why are smokers such good storytellers? A: Theyโre always โpuffingโ up their stories!
Smoker Knock-Knock Jokes That Will Leave You In Stitches (And Gasping For Air)
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker you out, gonna find you, gonnaโฆ (cough) excuse me.
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker got your tongue? โCause mine feels like itโs got fur.
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker light? This joke is getting kind of dark.
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker sense of humor you got there! Iโll see myself out.
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker lot of time trying to come up with a better joke, didnโt I?
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker chances Iโll quit after telling this joke? Zero.
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker breath. Just kidding, itโs me, your dentist!
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker what you did last summer! Specifically, that cigarette break.
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker says these jokes are bad, but I think theyโre pretty lit.
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker a ghost? โCause Iโm dying to get in!
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker long, farewell! Iโm off to find a non-smoking section.
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker cheaper to knock on the door than to keep lighting these things.
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker late for a very important dateโฆwith a pack of cigarettes.
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker one, smoker two, smoker threeโฆ Okay, Iโll stop.
- Knock, knock! Whoโs there? Smoker. Smoker who? Smoker you happy, Iโm not sure, but this joke is definitely dragging on.
Smoker Pun Names: Weโre Not Joking, Theyโre Really This Bad (and Puff-fectly Hilarious)
- Smokey and the Bandit (a play on the classic film, perfect for a mischievous duo)
- Ash Ketchum (a Pokรฉmon master who always leaves a trail of embers)
- Nick OโTeen (a sly detective with a penchant for cigarettes)
- Huffalump and Puffalump (a cuddly but constantly combusting duo)
- The Carbonator (a villain with breath that could melt steel)
- Sir Smokes-a-Lot (a knight who always enters the battlefield shrouded in fog)
- Cinder-Ella (a chimney sweep with a magical, smoke-writing Fairy Godmother)
- The Smokefather (a mob boss who runs an illicit tobacco empire)
- Austin Powers: International Man of Smog (a groovy spy who always carries a lighter)
- MC Hammer of Thorax (a rapper known for his fiery lyrics and hacking cough)
- The Great Smoky Mountains (a wrestling tag team known for their chokeholds)
- The Infern-Os (a heavy metal band fueled by pyrotechnics and asthma inhalers)
- Smokey Bear Necessities (a survival guide for clumsy campers prone to starting fires)
- Tootsie Pop, the Rootinโ Tootinโ Cowboy (a lollipop outlaw with a candy cigarette)
- The Hack Pack (a group of chain-smoking journalists on the trail of a hot story)
Butt Seriously, Quit While You Can!
Well, there you have it, folks! Enough smoke to make a dragon jealous (without the fire hazard, thankfully). We hope these jokes about smokers left you feeling anything but smoked out. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, even if your doctor disagrees and tells you to quit cold turkey. For more pun-derful and hilarious content, explore the rest of our website โ itโs guaranteed to light up your day!