Hold onto your hats, folks, βcause weβre about to dive headfirst into the BEST, most hilarious list of poop jokes and puns this side of the sewer! π©π Get ready to giggle your guts out with these clever and (mostly) kid-friendly jokes about everyoneβs favorite potty humor topic. This ainβt your average bathroom stall scribble, people, this is high-brow humorβ¦disguised as low-brow fun! π½π€£ Letβs get this party started!π
Top Pooping Puns & Jokes Thatβll Make You Flush With Laughter
- My friend said his therapist told him to embrace his mistakes. I think he misunderstood because heβs walking around with a toilet plunger.
- Whatβs brown and sounds like a bell? Dung!
- I got in trouble for poop jokes at work today. Apparently, they stink!
- I tried to explain to my dog that bark was spelled βbarkβ and poop was spelled βpoop,β but heβs still not getting it.
- I went to an art museum dedicated to toilets last week. It was full of incredible bowls, but the gift shop was a crock.
- What do you get if you eat too much spicy Indian food? A Delhi-belly!
- What should you do if you find a bear in the woods? Play dead, and then poop your pants. It wonβt eat you then; itβs too embarrassing!
- You know what the opposite of a potty-trained child is? A seasoned veteran.
- What do you call an angry dinosaur thatβs constipated? A Tyrannosaurus Rex-lax!
- I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey, but thankfully, I turned myself around.
- If you were a plumber, would you handle all the crappy jobs?
- My doctor gave me some bad news. It turns out I have a chronic fear of toilets. Iβm completely petrified.
- My friendβs laxative company is going out of business. Itβs a real shame. They had a solid business plan.
- I saw a sign that said, βRestroom for Customers Only!β So I went in, bought a candy bar, and left. I mean, technically, Iβm a customer now.

Pooping One-Liner Jokes Thatβll Leave You In Stitches (And Maybe Reaching For Toilet Paper)
- Iβm on a seafood diet. When I see food, I poop a sea.
- My therapist told me to journal about my feelings. Turns out, my poop journal is just a food diary.
- You know youβre an adult when you get excited about buying a new plunger. Itβs like a toiletβs version of getting a new phone.
- They call it βnumber 2,β but honestly, after tacos, it feels more like number 1,000.
- Iβm not saying Iβm regular, but I could set my watch by my poop scheduleβ¦ If I wore a watch in there.
- My doctor said I need more fiber in my diet. Guess Iβll start carrying a spool of yarn in my purse.
- Tried to have a philosophical conversation in the bathroom, but the only deep thoughts I had involved plumbing.
- My superpower? I can poop on command. Itβs not glamorous, but it sure is convenient.
- You know youβve found the one when youβre comfortable pooping with the door open. True love knows no boundariesβ¦ or bathroom smells.
- Just saw a sign that said, βRest Area 2 Miles.β My butt read it as, βTest Area 2 Miles.β
- My digestive system is like a bad roommate: always causing a mess and never paying rent.
- Iβm not sure whatβs more satisfying: finally going poop after being constipated or perfectly aligning the toilet paper roll.
- They say laughter is the best medicine, but have they tried a good poop?
- My toilet and I have a love-hate relationship. Mostly hate from its side.
- βNetflix and chillβ for introverts is just βpoop and scroll.β
Quotes About Pooping: Because Sometimes You Gotta Laugh Before You Flush
- βPooping: Itβs like winning a tiny, very internal game of Tetris.β
- βYou know youβve reached peak adulthood when a good poop becomes a conversation topic with your closest friends.β
- βMy superpower? I can turn coffee into poop in record time. Behold, the magic!β
- βSure, love is beautiful, but have you ever pooped after holding it in all day? Now thatβs a religious experience.β
- βThey say money canβt buy happiness. Theyβve obviously never had to use a public restroom without stall doors.β
- βSome people meditate for inner peace. Others sit on the toilet with a good book. We are not the same.β
- βDonβt rush a good poop. Itβs the most productive part of my day.β
- βMy brain be like 80% anxiety, 10% useless trivia, and 10% βIs it safe to poop at work yet?'β
- βThe struggle of wanting a flat stomach but also needing to poop after a big meal is the most real battle I face daily.β
- βIβm convinced my digestive system has a mind of its own, and itβs always plotting its next grand escape right when I have to leave the house.β
- βYou ever sit on the toilet, look down at the water, and think βDid I pay my water bill?'β
- βLife is too short to judge your poop. Let that bad boy fly free and be on its merry way.β
- βMe, confidently telling my stomach βWe got thisβ before realizing halfway through this meal that we absolutely DO NOT got this.β Cut to 2 am toilet regret.
- βSome people are morning people. Some people are night owls. Me? Iβm a βdepends-what-time-I-need-to-poopβ person.β
- ββWhat are you thinking about?β Literally nothing. Absolutely nothing except hoping I donβt have to poop at this very specific and inconvenient moment.β
Dad Jokes about βPoopingβ: Prepare for Potty Humor of Epic Poop-ortions
- What do you call a well-trained poop? A stooltdier!
- My son asked where poop goes. I told him, βDown the hatch!β He then looked horrified and said, βBut I just ate a boat!β
- Iβm writing a book about all the different euphemisms for poop. Itβs coming along nicely.
- What did the poop say to the toilet? You look flushed!
- I used to be afraid of going number two, but then I realizedβ¦ itβs just number oneβ¦ twice.
- Whatβs the worst thing about pooping in public restrooms? Having a shy bladder.
- My doctor asked if Iβd been pooping blood. βNo,β I told him. βIt looks the same color on the way out.β
- Why didnβt the toilet paper cross the road? Because it got stuck in a crack!
- You know youβre an adult when you get excited about buying a new plunger.
- Never trust a fart after eating Mexican food. It might be a false pas-seo.
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
- My wife told me to sync my phone to the Bluetooth speaker⦠now I have to poop to Kenny G!
- What does a constipated mathematician do? They work it out with a number two pencil!
- Whatβs the opposite of a potty mouth? A shy pooper!
- I just got back from a doctorβs appointment. It turns out I have a very rare condition called βKnowing When to Stop Telling Poop Jokes.β
Potty Humorously Funny Pooping Puns & Jokes for Kids
- Why did the potty get a gold medal? Because it was number one in pooping!
- What does a nervous toilet say? Iβm feeling a little flushed!
- What did the poop say to the toilet paper? Hey! Iβm feeling really wiped!
- Where do bees go to poop? The BP station!
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Poop. Poop who? Poop-oop-a-doop! Iβm here to make you laugh!
- What does a ghost say after he uses the bathroom? βBoo!βtiful!
- Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom!
- Why do fish poop in the ocean? Because itβs sea-cret!
- My tummy is making so much noise, I think itβs trying to learn the potty-ano!
- Why do ducks have flat feet? From stomping to get the worms out to poop!
- What kind of music do toilets like to listen to? Anything but punk rock!
- What do you get if dinosaurs poop on your car? A meatier-shower!
- What happens when a king farts in public? He issues a royal pardon!
- Why donβt they have bathroom breaks at the North Pole? Because itβs too far to go!
- Why did the bathroom get locked? Because it had to take a number two!
Poopingβ Double Entendre Puns That Are So Wrong Theyβre Right
- Iβm so full of ideas today, I feel like I could write a novel while pooping. Well, maybe just a short story.
- This workout is tough! I thought I was lifting weights, but it feels like Iβm pooping bricks.
- That comedian on stage is a real stinker. His jokes are so bad, theyβre pooping the bed.
- I canβt believe you aced that test without studying! You must have been pooping rainbows when you guessed all the answers.
- My dog is a master of disguise. He can go from pooping in the neighborβs yard to looking completely innocent in a matter of seconds.
- This traffic is unbearable! Weβre moving slower than a turtle pooping out a Christmas ornament.
- I tried to make a cake from scratch, but it completely flopped. I guess I should stick to pooping out cookies.
- Donβt tell my boss, but Iβm pooping out of work early today. I need to catch the premiere of the new βToilet Adventuresβ documentary.
- That used car salesman was smoother than a babyβsβ¦ well, you know. He almost had me convinced that pooping gas was a feature!
- My grandmaβs cooking is so good, itβll make you poop your pants. Donβt worry, theyβre extra stretchy.
- My dance moves are so bad, I look like Iβm pooping a pineapple on the dance floor.
- The suspense in this movie is killing me! Iβm so nervous, I feel like Iβm pooping bricks of gold.
- He tried to play it cool after winning the lottery, but he couldnβt hide that poop-eating grin.
- That presentation was a disaster. The speaker was so nervous, I thought he was going to poop his pantsβ¦right there on stage!
- This internet connection is slower than a snail pooping molasses in January!
Pooping Puns That Will Make You Potty Yourself With Laughter: A Recursive Ride to the Porcelain Throne
- I tried to tell a joke about pooping, but itβs stuck in my head. I guess you could say itβsβ¦ internal plumbing humor!
- This bathroom humor is getting deep⦠I should probably stop pooping on about it.
- My friend said my pooping jokes stink. I told him they were just maturing.
- Why donβt they tell pooping jokes at funerals? Because theyβre too grave.
- My therapist told me to journal about my feelings instead of making pooping jokes. It was a really crappy suggestion.
- I tried to write a song about pooping, but itβs a bit hard to work with.
- Iβm not sure these pooping jokes are working. I feel like Iβm just going in circles.
- I tried to explain my fear of toilets, but the words just wouldnβt come out. It was a real pooping block!
- These pooping puns really stink, but hey, at least theyβre regular.
- I told my friend my pooping jokes were getting stale. He said I should try a different approach.
- Why are pooping jokes so addictive? Because theyβre just plain habit-forming!
- Iβve been sitting on this pooping joke for hours. Iβm really letting it stew.
- My friend bet me I couldnβt make a pooping pun that was both funny and clever. I told him, βChallenge accepted!β
- Iβm starting to think these pooping puns are a slippery slope. But I just canβt stop myself!
Pooping QnA Jokes & Puns: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh Your Ass Off π€£
- A: He knew it would be a moving experience.
- Q: Whatβs a plumberβs favorite thing to read about? A: Bowel movements.
- Q: What do you get if you cross a laxative and a sleeping pill? A: A good nightβs sleep, eventually.
- Q: Why donβt they have poop jokes on the radio? A: Theyβre too crude.
- Q: How do you know when youβve really made it in life? A: You can hire someone to write your poop jokes for you.
- Q: Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? A: To get to the bottom of things.
- Q: What kind of music do you listen to while pooping? A: Anything but βPush Itβ by Salt-N-Pepa.
- Q: What do you call a bear with no teeth thatβs gone to the bathroom in the woods? A: A gummy de-poo-sit.
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo that refuses to poop? A: Pouch potato.
- Q: Why donβt scientists trust atoms? A: Because they make up everything, including poop jokes.
- Q: Whatβs brown and sticky? A: A stick. Q: Whatβs brown and sounds like a stick? A: A stick covered in poop.
- Q: Why is pooping so addictive? A: Because once youβre done, youβre always looking forward to the next one.
- Q: Why is it so satisfying to poop? A: Itβs the only problem in life you can literally flush away.
- Q: What do you call a detective specializing in bathroom crimes? A: A βNumber 2β man.
- Q: What did the poop say to the toilet? A: You look a bit flushed.
Pooping Knock-Knock Jokes That Will Make You Giggle, Grunt, and Groan
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping right now, please come back later!
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping your pants is not a laughing matter!
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping ainβt nobodyβs business but mine!
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping happy tears of relief!
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping is my superpower, whatβs yours?
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping out bad vibes only, sorry!
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping rhymes with drooping, coincidence?
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping: the only time Iβm truly alone with my thoughts.
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping: natureβs way of telling you to slow down.
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping: because even superheroes have to go.
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping: itβs a marathon, not a sprint.
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping: sorry, I canβt hear you from in here!
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping: the struggle is real, but so is the relief.
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping. Pooping who? Pooping: proof that not all heroes wear capes.
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Pooping Pooping who? Pooping: itβs the little things in life, you know?
Pooping Pun Names: Because Sometimes You Gotta Go With the Flow-etry
- Sir Drops-A-Lot
- The Porcelain Punisher
- Captain Loggins
- Major Plops
- The Royal Flusher
- Duke Dookie
- Sergeant Squat-and-Fire
- General Excrement
- The Throne Terminator
- Professor Poopypants
- Lord of the Latrine
- Baron Von Bowel Blaster
- Maestro of Manure
- Empress of Evacuation
- Sultan of Stool Softening
Thatβs All, Folks! Donβt Strain Yourselves! π© π
Well, there you have it, folks! 120+ reasons why poop jokes, despite their inherent silliness, will always be a solid source of humor. Weβre pretty flushed with pride after sharing these with you, and we hope they left you feelingβ¦ well, not empty inside. For more gut-busting puns and jokes, be sure to explore the rest of our punny website. Trust us, itβs chock-full of comedic gold. You know what they say β laughter is the best medicine, except for when you actually need medicine. Then, laughter is just a bonus.