π Getting hitched? Congrats, youβre about to enter the wonderful world of shared laundry and inside jokes! π This calls for a celebration packed with laughter, and weβve got the perfect ingredient: puns! π This list of the best wedding puns and jokes is sure to make your big day extra memorable. π From clever quips to funny anecdotes for kids, get ready for a laughter riot thatβs lighthearted and positive. π Get ready to say βI doβ to humor!
Top Wedding Puns & Jokes β Editorβs Picks: Get Ready to Groan with Laughter
- Why did the cake run away from the wedding? It was in tier-able condition! ππββοΈ
- What did the ocean say to the beach at a wedding? Nothing, it just waved! π π
- Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. The only difference is that in a war, you only need to survive one battle. πͺ π
- What do you call a line of people waiting for the wedding cake? A cake-walk! π°πΆββοΈπΆββοΈπΆββοΈ
- Why did the couple go to Jamaica for their honeymoon? They heard it was a nice place to βtie the knot-tyβ ππ΄
- Iβm not sure what was tighter at that wedding, the brideβs dress or the groomβs budget. π€΅π°ββοΈπ°
- Why is it so hard to plan a wedding? Because youβre trying to plan the most perfect, expensive party for people you canβt even please with dinner. ππ€―
- Love is grand. Divorce is a hundred grand. πΈπ (Ouch, but true!)
- Did you hear about the couple who met at a dating app and got married really fast? It was love at first swipe! β€οΈπ±
- Why did the flower girl walk so fast down the aisle? She wanted to get to the βaisleβ seat! πΈπββοΈ
- Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night. First, it rings, then you wake up, and then you hope itβs a booty call. βοΈπ΄π
- What did the single friend say to the newly married couple? βWell, good luck to you, and bad luck to anyone who gets in your wayβ¦because you two are terrifyingly happy.β ππ
- A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. π
- Why did the photographer miss the shot of the bride and groom kissing? He was too busy focusing on the cake! πΈπ (Priorities!)

Funny Wedding One-Liner Jokes: For a Laugh-Ever-After
- Iβm not saying the wedding was emotional, but even the cake was in tiers.
- The couple wanted to write their own vows, but they decided to say βI doβ before things got too out of hand.
- Marriage is a great way to lose weightβ¦ especially when youβre cutting the cake!
- Love is grand, divorce is a hundred grand. Think about it.
- I always cry at weddings. Itβs the groomβs fault for picking such a beautiful woman to marry.
- Did you hear about the couple who met in a coffee shop? They said their wedding was love at first grind.
- The best thing about a wedding is seeing the bride walk down the aisleβ¦ and realizing sheβs not coming for you.
- My girlfriend said she wanted a big, fairytale wedding⦠so I closed the book and put it back on the shelf.
- Weddings are basically funerals with cake. Letβs be honest.
- Did you hear about the short fortune teller who escaped from prison? The headline read βSmall Medium At Large.β
- What do you call a line of men waiting to propose? A proposal line.
- Love is a mutual respect, until the bank account runs out.
- I love being married. Itβs so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
- The coupleβs vows were so beautiful, even the wedding cake was in tiers.
- Marriage: Itβs not about finding someone you can live with, itβs about finding someone you canβt live withoutβ¦ to do the dishes.
QnA Jokes & Puns about Wedding: Ready to laugh your βI Doβsβ off?
- Q: Why did the wedding cake go to the doctor? A: It was feeling crumby!
- Q: Why did the picture go to jail after the wedding? A: It was framed!
- Q: What do you call a line of people waiting to attend a wedding? A: A wed-lock line.
- Q: Whatβs the difference between a wedding band and a rock band? A: You canβt tell your troubles to a wedding band.
- Q: Why do brides wear white on their wedding day? A: To match all the appliances they got as gifts.
- Q: Why did the groom get cold feet? A: He forgot to put his shoes on!
- Q: Which dance did the ocean learn for the wedding? A: The conga line!
- Q: What bow canβt be tied? A: A rainbow!
- Q: Why did the couple go to Hawaii for their honeymoon? A: They wanted a romantic aloha-cation!
- Q: What did the bride say when the wedding was called off? A: βWell, thatβs an engagement Iβm glad I didnβt have.β
- Q: What kind of rings do owls wear to get married? A: Owl-vow rings!
- Q: What kind of music do they play at monster weddings? A: They throw a monster mash!
- Q: Why did the photographer get fired from the wedding? A: He kept telling everyone to say βcheese,β and they were having salmon!
- Q: What should you give a dog thatβs attending a wedding? A: Collie-flower!
- Q: Why was the beeβs honey late to the wedding? A: He was stuck in traffic on the honey-moon!
Dad Jokes About Wedding: Get Ready for Some Seriously Groomy Puns
- Did you hear about the wedding that was called off at the last minute? Apparently, the groom got cold feet, and the bride got the shivers!
- Iβm really excited about my daughterβs wedding. I canβt wait to dance with my wifeβ¦βs daughter.
- Why did the photographer keep making the couple pose by the window? Because he wanted them to have a picture-perfect wedding!
- Why do brides always wear white on their wedding day? So they match the appliances theyβll be registering for.
- You know, marriage is a lot like a root canal. At least thatβs what everyone keeps telling me!
- Whatβs the difference between a wedding ring and a donut? I donβt know, but I wouldnβt want to try to pay for a wedding with a donut!
- My wife wanted a big fairytale wedding. So I built her a castleβ¦out of LEGOs. Hey, at least itβs a start!
- Why do grooms always look so happy? They just got to trade in a lifetime of chores for a wife! (Just kidding, honey!)
- I always cry at weddings. Onion rings get me every time!
- They say you should always marry for love. But a big bank account doesnβt hurt either! (Just kidding, honeyβ¦again!)
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the wedding. Now itβs a web designer!
- What do you call a line of people at a wedding waiting for cake? A cakewalk!
- Why did the cake go to the doctor? Because it was feeling crumby!
- Whatβs the difference between love and marriage? Love is blind, and marriage is an eye-opener!
- Iβm not sure whatβs prettier tonight, the stars or the decorations. Then again, Iβve never seen decorations twinkle like that.
Funny Quotes About Wedding: To Make You Say βI Doβ to Laughter
- βI love being married. Itβs so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.β β Rita Rudner (Starting strong with a classic!)
- βMarriage is like a walk in the parkβ¦ Jurassic Park.β β Unknown (Short, sweet, and to the point!)
- βGetting married is easy. Staying married is like washing dishes, a lifetime chore that must be done every single day.β β Unknown (A relatable comparison for many!)
- βThe most important four words for a successful marriage: βIβll do the dishes.'β β Unknown (Practical advice disguised as humor!)
- βMy wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the movies. It was a great date! Then I went homeβ¦ alone.β β Unknown (A little silliness to lighten the mood!)
- βBefore you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet service to see who they truly are.β β Will Ferrell (Modern problems require modern solutions!)
- βA successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.β β Mignon McLaughlin (A touch of sweetness amongst the laughter!)
- βMy wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.β β Henny Youngman (Ouch! But alsoβ¦ kinda relatable?)
- βMarrying for love is a beautiful thing, as long as youβre both loaded.β β Unknown (Letβs be practical, people!)
- Marriage is not just spiritual communion, it is also remembering to take out the trash.β β Dr. Joyce Brothers (Truer words have never been spoken.)
- βThe secret to a happy marriage is finding the right person. You know theyβre right if you love to be with them all the time.β β Julia Child (Simple, yet profound!)
- βWe always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.β β Henny Youngman (Never let go! Never!)
- βI now pronounce you man and wife. You may now change your Facebook status.β β Unknown (Ah, the 21st century!)
Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Wedding: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh (and Say βI Doβ to Good Advice!)
- A bird in the hand is worth two in the bushβ¦unless youβre allergic, then maybe stick to cake.
- The way to a manβs heart is through his stomachβ¦but catering the wedding yourself? Thatβs just asking for trouble.
- Love is blindβ¦which is why you should always get a prenup reviewed by someone who isnβt.
- Happy wife, happy lifeβ¦and a well-stocked bar helps too.
- Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blueβ¦and something completely unexpected to make the wedding album truly memorable.
- You canβt hurry loveβ¦but you can certainly rush a DJ whoβs ignoring the playlist you meticulously crafted for a year.
- Two heads are better than oneβ¦unless youβre trying to agree on a guest list, then itβs more like a hydra of drama.
- Speak now or forever hold your peaceβ¦unless youβre about to object with a long-lost love story, then please, by all means, interrupt.
- Practice makes perfectβ¦which is why open bars exist at wedding receptions.
- Donβt put all your eggs in one basketβ¦unless that basket is filled with adorable flower girls and ring bearers, then full steam ahead.
- The course of true love never did run smoothβ¦especially when navigating the dance floor after a few too many glasses of champagne.
- Good things come to those who waitβ¦but a cash-filled wishing well can certainly speed up the honeymoon plans.
- Love conquers allβ¦except maybe that weird great aunt who insists on doing the Macarena at every wedding.
- Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wiseβ¦but staying up all night celebrating your wedding makes for much better stories.
- Donβt cross the bridge until you come to itβ¦unless itβs a picturesque bridge leading to a stunning wedding venue, then by all means, sprint towards it!
- Laughter is the best medicineβ¦and a healthy dose of humor is essential for surviving the stress of wedding planning.
Wedding Double Entendres Puns: To Have, To Hold, and To Make You Fold
- βI now pronounce you man and wifeβ¦ because the last couple who tried to pronounce it themselves are still arguing.β (Playing on the difficulty of pronunciation and marital disputes)
- βWelcome to the reception, everyone! Feel free to mingleβ¦ or at least pretend to like your tablemates.β (Poking fun at the forced socialization of weddings)
- βLetβs raise a glass to the happy couple! May their love be as strong as their signature cocktail.β (Implying a potent drink and a lasting relationship)
- βFor better or for worseβ¦ but mostly for cake, am I right?β (Humorously acknowledging the cake as a highlight)
- βItβs time for the bouquet toss! Single ladies, get ready to wrestle for your chance at fleeting happiness!β (Sarcastically commenting on the pressure of marriage)
- βThe open bar is now open! Please drink responsiblyβ¦ or at least donβt blame the bride and groom for your hangover.β (Encouraging fun but urging moderation with a humorous twist)
- βCongratulations to the happy couple! May your wedding night beβ¦ memorable. Thatβs all Iβm allowed to say.β (Wink-wink, nudge-nudge humor about the wedding night)
- βRemember, marriage is all about compromiseβ¦ like who gets to be right and who has to pretend to be wrong.β (Satirizing the dynamics of a long-term relationship)
- βLetβs give it up for the bridesmaids! They spent months planning this dayβ¦ and all they got was a matching dress theyβll never wear again.β (Sympathizing with the bridesmaids and their sometimes-unfortunate dresses)
- βTo the groom: Always remember, a happy wife is a happy lifeβ¦ unless sheβs a Black Widow, then itβs curtains for you.β (Dark humor, exaggerating the phrase βhappy wife, happy lifeβ)
- βThey say love is blindβ¦ but marriage is a real eye-opener.β (Playing on the saying and the realities of married life)
- βMarriage is a journeyβ¦ a really long, expensive road trip with someone who steals the blankets.β (Comparing marriage to a relatable, if slightly annoying, experience)
- βAnd now, the moment youβve all been waiting forβ¦ the cutting of the cake! Letβs hope they donβt recreate that scene from βThe Godfather.β (Referencing a famous movie scene while injecting humor into a traditional moment)
Recursive Puns About Wedding: Warning: May Lead to Infinite Aisle-arity
- This wedding reception is really something else! Whatβs it like? Itβs like this wedding reception is really something else! π
- Did you hear about the wedding photographer who kept getting lost in his own work? He couldnβt stop focusing on the happy couples! πΈ And why couldnβt he stop? Because he was lost in his own work, focusing on the happy couples!
- Iβm writing a song about a never-ending wedding reception. Itβs going to be a hitβ¦ single! π€ Why a hit single? Because itβs about a never-ending receptionβ¦ which will never have another single person!
- Why was the wedding dress always so stressed? Because it was always getting altered! π And why was it always getting altered? Because it was stressed about being altered!
- This wedding is like a broken recordβ¦ It keeps playing the same best day of their lives over and over again! πΆ Why a broken record? Because this wedding keeps playing the same best day of their lives on repeat!
- Why did the wedding ring roll down the hill? To get to the other wedding ring! π And why did the other wedding ring roll down the hill? To chase after the first one, of course!
- This wedding punch is making me see doubleβ¦ I see two brides, two grooms, and twice the happily ever after! π₯ Why see double? Because the wedding punch is strong, making you see two of everything at this double the fun wedding!
- Iβm having a dΓ©jΓ vu about this weddingβ¦ Wait a minute, I think Iβm living this wedding for the second time! π€― Why dΓ©jΓ vu? Because this wedding is so unforgettable, it feels like youβre experiencing it twice!
- The wedding gift I got the couple was so well-received, they couldnβt stop thanking me. So I thanked them for thanking me, and then they thanked me for thanking them for thanking meβ¦ π Why the endless thanks? Because the gift was so good it created a loop of gratitude!
- I think Iβm stuck in a wedding-themed escape room. The only way out is to solve the puzzle of eternal love! β€οΈ And whatβs the puzzle of eternal love? Figuring out how to escape this wedding-themed escape room!
- The best manβs speech was like a hall of mirrorsβ¦ Full of reflections on the happy couple! π€΅ββοΈ Why a hall of mirrors? Because the best manβs speech kept reflecting on the happy couple, just like a hall of mirrors!
- This wedding is like a game of musical chairsβ¦ Except everyone gets a seatβ¦ next to their soulmate! πͺ Why musical chairs? Because at this wedding, everyone ends up happily seated next to their perfect match, just like finding their chair in a game of musical chairs!
- The flower girl is throwing petals like sheβs in a flower petal throwing competition with herselfβ¦ And sheβs winning! π Why a competition with herself? Because sheβs the only one throwing petals with such enthusiasm and joy at this self-competitive wedding!
- The wedding DJ only plays one songβ¦ βThis is the Song That Doesnβt Endβ! π§ Why that song? Because it perfectly represents the never-ending love celebrated at this musically-challenged wedding!
Funny Wedding Tom Swifties β Jokes and Puns: Get Ready to Groan with Laughter!
- βI do,β Tom said agreeably.
- βDid anyone bring the rings?β Tom asked ringingly.
- βYou may now kiss the bride,β said the officiant blissfully.
- βThis cake is amazing!β Tom exclaimed tieredly.
- βLetβs get this party started!β Tom announced receptively.
- βDonβt forget to throw the bouquet!β shouted the bridesmaids tossingly.
- βI canβt wait for the honeymoon,β Tom whispered sweetly.
- βCongratulations, you two are now married!β said the officiant officially.
- βThat was the most beautiful wedding Iβve ever been to,β said the guest mournfully.
- βHelp me cut the cake,β Tom requested piecingly.
- βThis dance floor is packed!β Tom said tightly.
- βIβm so happy for you both,β she said with a tear in her eye cryptically.
- βGet ready to catch the garter!β the groom announced snappily.
- βTime to open the presents!β said the bride excitedly.
- βDonβt drink too much,β Tomβs friend advised soberly.
- βAnd they lived happily ever after,β the narrator concluded charmingly.
Wedding Spoonerisms: Tie the Knot, or Potentially Tie the Kot?
- βItβs time to tie the knot, or should I say, kite the tot?β (Tie the knot β Kite the tot)
- βWill you marry me? Or are you still wooking for Mister Wight?β (Looking for Mr. Right β Wooking for Mister Wight)
- βLook at the bride, sheβs glowing with bride! I meanβ¦ uhβ¦ pride!β (Glowing with pride β Bride)
- βLetβs raise a toast to the happy cuppleβ¦ I mean, souple!β (Happy couple β Cappy houple)
- βThe ceremony will be held in the gove of a church.β (Cove of a church β Gove of a chuch)
- βFor richer or porer, in suckness and in health.β (For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health β For ricker or porer, in suckness and in health)
- βMay your love be as strong as a seagullβ¦ I mean, sea wall!β (Sea wall β Sea gull)
- βDonβt forget to sign the gruest book!β (Guest book β Gruest book)
- βTheyβre registered at Bloomingdaleβs and Crate & Barrelβ¦ or is it Bloominβ Crate and Barrel & Daleβs?β (Bloomingdaleβs and Crate & Barrel β Bloominβ Crate and Barrel & Daleβs)
- βThe best man gave a truly moving shoast.β (Moving toast β Shoving moast)
- βDid you catch the brideβs bouquet? It was like watching a slow-motion chaseβ¦ I mean, space!β (Slow-motion chase β Slow-motion space)
- βThe wedding cake was beautifully decorated, a real work of heartβ¦ I mean, art!β (Work of art β Work of heart)
- βTime for the father-daughter danceβ¦ or as I like to call it, the fahter-daughter donce!β (Father-daughter dance β Fahter-daughter donce)
- βWishing you a wifetime of happiness!β (Lifetime of happiness β Wifetime of happiness)
- βLetβs all give a warm hound of applause!β (Round of applause β Hound of applause)
- βThe happy couple is heading off on their honeyboonβ¦ I meanβ¦ honeymoon!β (Honeymoon β Honeyboon)
- βAnd they all lived happilary ever afterβ¦ or should I say, happardy ever laughter?β (Happily ever after β Happardy ever laughter)
Ringing Out The Laughter: Happy Planning!
Weβre hitched to the idea that laughter is the best medicine, especially when it comes to weddings! If these 150+ puns and jokes have left you craving more comedic chaos, donβt worry, we wonβt leave you at the altar. Head over to our website for a reception full of hilarious puns and jokes thatβll have you RSVP-ing for more laughs!