Get ready to swing into a web of laughter 😂 with the best Spider-Man puns and jokes! This list is jam-packed with clever and funny quips about everyone’s favorite web-slinger, perfect for kids and adults who never quite grew up. 🕸️ We’ve spun a collection of positive humor that’s guaranteed to leave you feeling amazing – no radioactive spider bite required! 🕷️ Get ready for some seriously hilarious puns and jokes about Spider-Man!
Top Spider-Man Puns & Jokes That Will Have You Saying “Web-Man, These Are Good!”
- Why did Spider-Man get kicked out of the orchestra? He kept saying the viola part was just a web of lies!
- What does Spider-Man put on his sandwiches? Dill-ivered straight to his web!
- I met Spider-Man at the bakery yesterday. He was asking for a rye-zon to swing by later.
- Spider-Man’s favorite band? The Strumbellies!
- Why doesn’t Spider-Man like using the internet? Too much webbing!
- What did Spider-Man say to the fly on his web? Buzz off! You’re on Candid Camera!
- I tried to make a Spider-Man thread the other day… It unraveled.
- Why is Spider-Man so good at poker? He can sense a bluff a mile away!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato… just like Uncle Ben used to make!
- What’s Spider-Man’s favorite dating app? Web-Harmony, of course!
- What did Spider-Man say to the villain who stole all the Christmas presents? “Give those back, you Grinch! You really webbed this one up!”
- What’s red and black and always getting stuck in your hair? Spider-Man having a bad hair day!
- I saw Spider-Man at the bank the other day, stuffing cash in his suit. I guess he really needed that web-pay deposit.
- What kind of car does Spider-Man drive? A convertible, so he can feel the wind in his webs.
- What does Spider-Man call his day off? A webcation!

Spider-Man One-Liner Jokes That Will Have You Saying “Web-tertaining!”
- Why did Spider-Man get a job at the bakery? He heard they needed someone to raise the dough!
- Spider-Man’s favorite musical instrument? The air guitar, of course. He’s always web-jamming!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo that’s also a Spider-Man fan? Pouch potato Parker!
- I met Spider-Man at the bank. Turns out, he’s really good at catching withdrawals!
- Spider-Man’s secret to staying fit? Web-lifting and cardio-crawling!
- Why is Spider-Man so good at hide-and-seek? He’s a master of disguise-guise-guise!
- What did Spider-Man say to the web designer? “I think you need to check your web-site!”
- Spider-Man can’t get a reservation at any restaurant anymore. They say he’s always fly-in-ing!
- You know you’re a true Spider-Man fan when… your love life’s more tangled than his webs.
- What does a busy Spider-Man order for breakfast? A web-waffle and a side of fly-tos!
- I tried making a Spider-Man suit… turns out sewing isn’t my strong suit.
- What did Spider-Man say to the villain who stole all the ropes? “Looks like you’ve really tied up traffic!”
- Why did Spider-Man fail his driver’s test? He kept trying to park on the ceiling!
- My therapist told me to be more like Spider-Man. So, I spun a web of lies!
- Always trust Spider-Man… he’s got your back, even if it’s stuck to a wall.
Quotes about ‘Spider-Man’ That Will Make You Say “Web-ster’s Dictionary Defines Funny”
- “Sure, I’m called ‘Spider-Man’ now, but you should’ve seen the look on my landlord’s face when I tried paying rent in webs!”
- “My biggest fear? Running out of web fluid during rush hour. Talk about awkward!”
- “Being Spider-Man is great, but dating? Let’s just say it’s tough explaining the whole ‘mask stays on’ rule.”
- “Every villain thinks they’re so tough… until they get a face full of webbing. It’s the ultimate ‘talk to the hand’ move.”
- “Aunt May’s cookies give me super strength, but don’t tell her I said that. She already charges me double.”
- “I swing through the city to avoid traffic. Not because it’s cool. Definitely not.”
- “My Spidey-Sense tingles for trouble… and also when Aunt May’s baking. I have my priorities.”
- “Iron Man gets a suit of armor. I get spandex. And people wonder why I’m the ‘friendly’ neighborhood hero.”
- “Being Spider-Man is a full-time job. Good thing I have a side hustle selling photos of myself for the Daily Bugle.”
- “Some days I feel like a superhero. Other days I’m just trying to get this sticky web fluid off my costume.”
- “You know you’ve made it as a superhero when you have your own action figure. It’s just weird when they make you look buffer than you actually are.”
- “I may be Spider-Man, but even I have to wait for the ‘walk’ signal. Traffic laws, people!”
- “I told Doc Ock I’d join his evil plan, but only if he promised to do my laundry. A hero’s work is never done.”
- “The ‘Amazing Spider-Man’? Please. I’m just glad I don’t trip over my own feet while web-slinging.”
- “Forget radioactive spiders, someone give this hero a vacation! Preferably one without villains. And skyscrapers.”
Dad Jokes about “Spider-Man”: Web of Embarrassment
- What does Spider-Man call it when his muscles get sore after a long day of web-slinging? A web-tite Tuesday!
- You know, Spider-Man’s life is an open book. A comic book, that is!
- What do you call it when Spider-Man throws a party for all the villains he’s captured? A web-warming party!
- What does Spider-Man use to browse the internet? The World Wide Web, of course!
- I met Spider-Man at the bank the other day. He was asking about their loan options…probably needed to get his web-site started.
- What did Spider-Man say to the bug in the web? “Buzz off, I’m working!”
- Why did Spider-Man get sent off the baseball team? He kept catching flies with his bare hands!
- What’s Spider-Man’s favorite dating app? Webly, of course!
- I tried making a belt out of Spider-Man’s webbing…I’ve got to say, it was a real waist of time.
- My son asked me what Spider-Man eats with his burgers. I told him, “Just the Spider-Fries.”
- You think Spider-Man gets car insurance? Nah, he has web-liability coverage!
- What does Spider-Man do when he’s feeling down? He goes to the doctor to see if he has the web-blues.
- Why can’t Spider-Man ever find a good tailor? Because they all keep telling him, “Suit yourself!”
- Spider-Man is thinking of opening an Italian restaurant…I heard he makes a mean Spider-Bolognese!
- How does Spider-Man stay so fit? Lots of cardio and web-weights!
Spider-Man Puns & Jokes for Kids (Who Are Totally Not Immature Adults)
- Why did Spider-Man get in trouble at school? He kept getting caught web-surfing!
- What’s Spider-Man’s favorite snack? An “Amazing” Grilled Cheese!
- What kind of car does Spider-Man drive? A Spider-mobile… It’s really fast, but it only gets 8 miles per web-gallon!
- What do you call a Spider-Man who tells jokes? A Web-Commedian!
- Where does Spider-Man buy his webs? The web-e-store!
- What did Spider-Man say to the fly on his pizza? Buzz off, my lunch is for heroes only!
- What music does Spider-Man listen to? Anything except heavy metal, it messes up his web!
- How does Spider-Man stay so fit? Lots of web-er-cise!
- What did Spider-Man say to his sidekick? “Look out, we’ve been caught in a web of lies!”
- What does Spider-Man do when his costume gets dirty? He throws it in the web-ashing machine!
- What’s Spider-Man’s favorite dance move? The Web and Spin!
- Where does Spider-Man leave his keys? In his web valet!
- Why is Spider-Man so good at card tricks? He’s got up his sleeve! (Get it? Because webs?)
- Knock, knock. Who’s there? Web. Web Who? Web there’s a will, there’s a Spider-Man!
- Why did Spider-Man get a job at the bakery? He heard they have great dough!
Spider-Man Double Entendres Puns: Websolutely Hilarious Jokes You Can’t Miss
- They say Spider-Man’s suit fits like a glove… guess that explains why Mary Jane’s always so handsy.
- Spider-Man’s love life is complicated? Sounds like someone needs to teach him the meaning of “web-zero” tolerance for drama.
- Forget radioactive spiders, I think I found Spider-Man’s real secret weapon: those tight pants.
- Aunt May’s been asking about Spider-Man’s “web fluid.” I told her it was none of her business… and definitely not safe for baking.
- Spider-Man’s always bragging about his “spider-sense.” I just hope it’s strong enough to tell when he’s wearing that Symbiote suit. It’s a little too clingy.
- You know what they say about men with sticky fingers… especially the ones who can climb walls.
- Dating Spider-Man must be exciting… and a little bit messy, what with all the webbing.
- Spider-Man’s always swinging from building to building. Guess you could say he’s a real “catch.”
- Heard Spider-Man got a new job at the bakery. He’s their official web designer.
- I told Spider-Man he should invest in a lint roller. All that swinging around, his suit must be covered in “web debris.”
- Spider-Man’s always getting himself into sticky situations. Good thing he’s such a smooth operator.
- You know, with great power comes great responsibility… to invest in a good tailor. Have you seen how tight that suit is?
- They say Spider-Man can hold his own in a fight. I bet he’s a real handful.
- I’m starting to think Spider-Man picked the wrong career. With those moves, he’d be a natural at interpretive dance.
- Forget “with great power…” I bet what Uncle Ben really said was “with great power comes a lot of laundry.” Seriously, how does he get those stains out?
Spider-Man Recursive Puns: Web of Laughter That’ll Leave You Tangled in Jokes
- Spider-Man’s biggest fear? Getting caught in a web of never-ending… Spider-Man puns!
- I tried to tell a joke about Spider-Man’s love life, but it got pretty tangled. Kind of like a… Spider-Man pun.
- Spider-Man walked into a bakery and asked, “What’s your most popular item?” The baker replied, “Our… Spider-Man puns!”
- What do you call a Spider-Man pun that constantly references itself? Absolutely… Spider-Man-tastic!
- Why don’t villains ever try to roast Spider-Man? They know they’ll just get caught in his web of… Spider-Man puns.
- Writing “Spider-Man” puns is like walking a tightrope. One wrong step, and you fall into a web of… Spider-Man puns!
- I thought I could escape the clutches of these “Spider-Man” puns, but it seems I’m caught in their web, just like… Spider-Man.
- Spider-Man puns are like his web-shooters: They never run out of… Spider-Man puns.
- What’s Spider-Man’s favorite type of music? Anything but heavy metal, because it’s full of… Spider-Man puns! (Get it? Spider-Man… web… heavy metal bands…)
- Why is Spider-Man so good at telling jokes? He’s always got a good… Spider-Man pun up his sleeve.
- My therapist said I need to stop with the “Spider-Man” puns. I told him, “That’s easy for you to say, you’re not the one with the… Spider-Man pun obsession!”
- I tried to explain the concept of recursive “Spider-Man” puns to my dog, but I think I lost him somewhere between “Spider” and… “Spider-Man” puns.
- These “Spider-Man” puns are getting so meta, they’re starting to comment on their own existence as… “Spider-Man” puns.
- This is officially the last “Spider-Man” pun on the list. Or is it just another opportunity for more… Spider-Man puns?
Spider-Man QnA Jokes & Puns: Web-Slingingly Funny Questions & Answers
- Q: Why did Spider-Man get invited to all the superhero parties? A: Because he’s always the life of the web!
- Q: Where does Spider-Man buy his groceries? A: At the Catch-a-ronis and Son!
- Q: What’s Spider-Man’s favorite dating app? A: Webly!
- Q: What does Spider-Man call it when his jokes bomb? A: A sticky situation.
- Q: Why did Spider-Man get a job at the bakery? A: He heard they needed someone to make the cross-buns.
- Q: What’s Spider-Man’s favorite band? A: The Spin Doctors!
- Q: How does Spider-Man stay up-to-date on the news? A: He checks the Daily Bugle!
- Q: What’s Spider-Man’s favorite Broadway show? A: Hairspray!
- Q: Why did Spider-Man become a photographer? A: He loves to catch things in his web.
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato! (Wait, that’s not Spider-Man…but it’s still funny, right?)
- Q: Where does Spider-Man charge his phone? A: On a USB-C web!
- Q: What did Spider-Man say to the villain who stole all the ropes? A: “That really untied the room.”
- Q: What’s Spider-Man’s favorite card game? A: Bridge! (Get it? Because of webs…?)
- Q: Why was Spider-Man’s electricity bill so low? A: He had all the power he needed!
- Q: What did Spider-Man say to his tailor? A: “Suit me up!”
Spider-Man Knock-Knock Jokes That Will Have You Saying “Web-derful!”
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-Man, here to spin you a web of laughter!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Spiderman. Spiderman who? Spiderman can, but a spider can’t!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Web. Web who? Web you be my sidekick, Spider-Man?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Spidey. Spidey who? Spidey-come, spidey-go, did you see that villain go?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Aunt. Aunt who? Aunt you glad I’m Spider-Man and not Iron Man?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Eight. Eight who? Eight legs are better than two when you’re Spider-Man, dude!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Jane’s got nothing on my Spider-Man jokes!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Venom. Venom who? Venom-ing to steal your Spider-Man costume!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Green. Green who? Green Goblin’s got nothing on my knock-knock game, Spider-Man does!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Wall. Wall who? Wall-crawling is thirsty work, got any pizza for Spider-Man?
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Uncle. Uncle who? Uncle Ben says with great jokes comes great responsibility!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Symbiote. Symbiote who? Symbiote be a shame if someone stole your Spider-Man costume!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Daily. Daily who? Daily Bugle wants to know if these Spider-Man jokes are funny!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Amazing! Amazing who? Amazing how Spider-Man always has a funny knock-knock joke ready!
- Knock, knock! Who’s there? Radioactive. Radioactive who? Radioactive spider bites are funny… said no one ever, except maybe Spider-Man!
Spider-Man Pun Names: We’re Totally Web-Bent On These!
- Peter Parkour
- WebMD Pro
- The Amazing Bulk Order Man
- Sticky Fingers McGraw
- Captain Arachnid-World
- The Web Designer
- Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man
- The Wall Crawler & Son Moving Company
- Webslinging Fun for Hire
- Sir Spins-a-Lot
- Spider-Man Jr. Attorney at Law
- Peter Parkour’s Parkour Park
- Miles Morales: Morale Booster
- Spider-Verse of Madness (Sale at Macy’s)
- Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends (a Carpool Service)
That’s All, Folks! Web Out! 😂 🕸️
And there you have it, folks! Enough Spider-Man jokes to make you laugh faster than a web-slinger chasing a churro truck. We hope you enjoyed these web-slinging wisecracks. For more puns and jokes that’ll have you saying “Shazam,” swing by our website – it’s got more laughs than a symbiote in a tickle fight!