Get ready to swing into a web of laughter π with the best Spider-Man puns and jokes! This list is jam-packed with clever and funny quips about everyoneβs favorite web-slinger, perfect for kids and adults who never quite grew up. πΈοΈ Weβve spun a collection of positive humor thatβs guaranteed to leave you feeling amazing β no radioactive spider bite required! π·οΈ Get ready for some seriously hilarious puns and jokes about Spider-Man!
Top Spider-Man Puns & Jokes That Will Have You Saying βWeb-Man, These Are Good!β
- Why did Spider-Man get kicked out of the orchestra? He kept saying the viola part was just a web of lies!
- What does Spider-Man put on his sandwiches? Dill-ivered straight to his web!
- I met Spider-Man at the bakery yesterday. He was asking for a rye-zon to swing by later.
- Spider-Manβs favorite band? The Strumbellies!
- Why doesnβt Spider-Man like using the internet? Too much webbing!
- What did Spider-Man say to the fly on his web? Buzz off! Youβre on Candid Camera!
- I tried to make a Spider-Man thread the other day⦠It unraveled.
- Why is Spider-Man so good at poker? He can sense a bluff a mile away!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato⦠just like Uncle Ben used to make!
- Whatβs Spider-Manβs favorite dating app? Web-Harmony, of course!
- What did Spider-Man say to the villain who stole all the Christmas presents? βGive those back, you Grinch! You really webbed this one up!β
- Whatβs red and black and always getting stuck in your hair? Spider-Man having a bad hair day!
- I saw Spider-Man at the bank the other day, stuffing cash in his suit. I guess he really needed that web-pay deposit.
- What kind of car does Spider-Man drive? A convertible, so he can feel the wind in his webs.
- What does Spider-Man call his day off? A webcation!

Spider-Man One-Liner Jokes That Will Have You Saying βWeb-tertaining!β
- Why did Spider-Man get a job at the bakery? He heard they needed someone to raise the dough!
- Spider-Manβs favorite musical instrument? The air guitar, of course. Heβs always web-jamming!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo thatβs also a Spider-Man fan? Pouch potato Parker!
- I met Spider-Man at the bank. Turns out, heβs really good at catching withdrawals!
- Spider-Manβs secret to staying fit? Web-lifting and cardio-crawling!
- Why is Spider-Man so good at hide-and-seek? Heβs a master of disguise-guise-guise!
- What did Spider-Man say to the web designer? βI think you need to check your web-site!β
- Spider-Man canβt get a reservation at any restaurant anymore. They say heβs always fly-in-ing!
- You know youβre a true Spider-Man fan whenβ¦ your love lifeβs more tangled than his webs.
- What does a busy Spider-Man order for breakfast? A web-waffle and a side of fly-tos!
- I tried making a Spider-Man suitβ¦ turns out sewing isnβt my strong suit.
- What did Spider-Man say to the villain who stole all the ropes? βLooks like youβve really tied up traffic!β
- Why did Spider-Man fail his driverβs test? He kept trying to park on the ceiling!
- My therapist told me to be more like Spider-Man. So, I spun a web of lies!
- Always trust Spider-Manβ¦ heβs got your back, even if itβs stuck to a wall.
Quotes about βSpider-Manβ That Will Make You Say βWeb-sterβs Dictionary Defines Funnyβ
- βSure, Iβm called βSpider-Manβ now, but you shouldβve seen the look on my landlordβs face when I tried paying rent in webs!β
- βMy biggest fear? Running out of web fluid during rush hour. Talk about awkward!β
- βBeing Spider-Man is great, but dating? Letβs just say itβs tough explaining the whole βmask stays onβ rule.β
- βEvery villain thinks theyβre so toughβ¦ until they get a face full of webbing. Itβs the ultimate βtalk to the handβ move.β
- βAunt Mayβs cookies give me super strength, but donβt tell her I said that. She already charges me double.β
- βI swing through the city to avoid traffic. Not because itβs cool. Definitely not.β
- βMy Spidey-Sense tingles for troubleβ¦ and also when Aunt Mayβs baking. I have my priorities.β
- βIron Man gets a suit of armor. I get spandex. And people wonder why Iβm the βfriendlyβ neighborhood hero.β
- βBeing Spider-Man is a full-time job. Good thing I have a side hustle selling photos of myself for the Daily Bugle.β
- βSome days I feel like a superhero. Other days Iβm just trying to get this sticky web fluid off my costume.β
- βYou know youβve made it as a superhero when you have your own action figure. Itβs just weird when they make you look buffer than you actually are.β
- βI may be Spider-Man, but even I have to wait for the βwalkβ signal. Traffic laws, people!β
- βI told Doc Ock Iβd join his evil plan, but only if he promised to do my laundry. A heroβs work is never done.β
- βThe βAmazing Spider-Manβ? Please. Iβm just glad I donβt trip over my own feet while web-slinging.β
- βForget radioactive spiders, someone give this hero a vacation! Preferably one without villains. And skyscrapers.β
Dad Jokes about βSpider-Manβ: Web of Embarrassment
- What does Spider-Man call it when his muscles get sore after a long day of web-slinging? A web-tite Tuesday!
- You know, Spider-Manβs life is an open book. A comic book, that is!
- What do you call it when Spider-Man throws a party for all the villains heβs captured? A web-warming party!
- What does Spider-Man use to browse the internet? The World Wide Web, of course!
- I met Spider-Man at the bank the other day. He was asking about their loan optionsβ¦probably needed to get his web-site started.
- What did Spider-Man say to the bug in the web? βBuzz off, Iβm working!β
- Why did Spider-Man get sent off the baseball team? He kept catching flies with his bare hands!
- Whatβs Spider-Manβs favorite dating app? Webly, of course!
- I tried making a belt out of Spider-Manβs webbingβ¦Iβve got to say, it was a real waist of time.
- My son asked me what Spider-Man eats with his burgers. I told him, βJust the Spider-Fries.β
- You think Spider-Man gets car insurance? Nah, he has web-liability coverage!
- What does Spider-Man do when heβs feeling down? He goes to the doctor to see if he has the web-blues.
- Why canβt Spider-Man ever find a good tailor? Because they all keep telling him, βSuit yourself!β
- Spider-Man is thinking of opening an Italian restaurantβ¦I heard he makes a mean Spider-Bolognese!
- How does Spider-Man stay so fit? Lots of cardio and web-weights!
Spider-Man Puns & Jokes for Kids (Who Are Totally Not Immature Adults)
- Why did Spider-Man get in trouble at school? He kept getting caught web-surfing!
- Whatβs Spider-Manβs favorite snack? An βAmazingβ Grilled Cheese!
- What kind of car does Spider-Man drive? A Spider-mobileβ¦ Itβs really fast, but it only gets 8 miles per web-gallon!
- What do you call a Spider-Man who tells jokes? A Web-Commedian!
- Where does Spider-Man buy his webs? The web-e-store!
- What did Spider-Man say to the fly on his pizza? Buzz off, my lunch is for heroes only!
- What music does Spider-Man listen to? Anything except heavy metal, it messes up his web!
- How does Spider-Man stay so fit? Lots of web-er-cise!
- What did Spider-Man say to his sidekick? βLook out, weβve been caught in a web of lies!β
- What does Spider-Man do when his costume gets dirty? He throws it in the web-ashing machine!
- Whatβs Spider-Manβs favorite dance move? The Web and Spin!
- Where does Spider-Man leave his keys? In his web valet!
- Why is Spider-Man so good at card tricks? Heβs got up his sleeve! (Get it? Because webs?)
- Knock, knock. Whoβs there? Web. Web Who? Web thereβs a will, thereβs a Spider-Man!
- Why did Spider-Man get a job at the bakery? He heard they have great dough!
Spider-Man Double Entendres Puns: Websolutely Hilarious Jokes You Canβt Miss
- They say Spider-Manβs suit fits like a gloveβ¦ guess that explains why Mary Janeβs always so handsy.
- Spider-Manβs love life is complicated? Sounds like someone needs to teach him the meaning of βweb-zeroβ tolerance for drama.
- Forget radioactive spiders, I think I found Spider-Manβs real secret weapon: those tight pants.
- Aunt Mayβs been asking about Spider-Manβs βweb fluid.β I told her it was none of her businessβ¦ and definitely not safe for baking.
- Spider-Manβs always bragging about his βspider-sense.β I just hope itβs strong enough to tell when heβs wearing that Symbiote suit. Itβs a little too clingy.
- You know what they say about men with sticky fingers⦠especially the ones who can climb walls.
- Dating Spider-Man must be exciting⦠and a little bit messy, what with all the webbing.
- Spider-Manβs always swinging from building to building. Guess you could say heβs a real βcatch.β
- Heard Spider-Man got a new job at the bakery. Heβs their official web designer.
- I told Spider-Man he should invest in a lint roller. All that swinging around, his suit must be covered in βweb debris.β
- Spider-Manβs always getting himself into sticky situations. Good thing heβs such a smooth operator.
- You know, with great power comes great responsibility⦠to invest in a good tailor. Have you seen how tight that suit is?
- They say Spider-Man can hold his own in a fight. I bet heβs a real handful.
- Iβm starting to think Spider-Man picked the wrong career. With those moves, heβd be a natural at interpretive dance.
- Forget βwith great powerβ¦β I bet what Uncle Ben really said was βwith great power comes a lot of laundry.β Seriously, how does he get those stains out?
Spider-Man Recursive Puns: Web of Laughter Thatβll Leave You Tangled in Jokes
- Spider-Manβs biggest fear? Getting caught in a web of never-endingβ¦ Spider-Man puns!
- I tried to tell a joke about Spider-Manβs love life, but it got pretty tangled. Kind of like aβ¦ Spider-Man pun.
- Spider-Man walked into a bakery and asked, βWhatβs your most popular item?β The baker replied, βOurβ¦ Spider-Man puns!β
- What do you call a Spider-Man pun that constantly references itself? Absolutely⦠Spider-Man-tastic!
- Why donβt villains ever try to roast Spider-Man? They know theyβll just get caught in his web ofβ¦ Spider-Man puns.
- Writing βSpider-Manβ puns is like walking a tightrope. One wrong step, and you fall into a web ofβ¦ Spider-Man puns!
- I thought I could escape the clutches of these βSpider-Manβ puns, but it seems Iβm caught in their web, just likeβ¦ Spider-Man.
- Spider-Man puns are like his web-shooters: They never run out of⦠Spider-Man puns.
- Whatβs Spider-Manβs favorite type of music? Anything but heavy metal, because itβs full ofβ¦ Spider-Man puns! (Get it? Spider-Manβ¦ webβ¦ heavy metal bandsβ¦)
- Why is Spider-Man so good at telling jokes? Heβs always got a goodβ¦ Spider-Man pun up his sleeve.
- My therapist said I need to stop with the βSpider-Manβ puns. I told him, βThatβs easy for you to say, youβre not the one with theβ¦ Spider-Man pun obsession!β
- I tried to explain the concept of recursive βSpider-Manβ puns to my dog, but I think I lost him somewhere between βSpiderβ andβ¦ βSpider-Manβ puns.
- These βSpider-Manβ puns are getting so meta, theyβre starting to comment on their own existence asβ¦ βSpider-Manβ puns.
- This is officially the last βSpider-Manβ pun on the list. Or is it just another opportunity for moreβ¦ Spider-Man puns?
Spider-Man QnA Jokes & Puns: Web-Slingingly Funny Questions & Answers
- Q: Why did Spider-Man get invited to all the superhero parties? A: Because heβs always the life of the web!
- Q: Where does Spider-Man buy his groceries? A: At the Catch-a-ronis and Son!
- Q: Whatβs Spider-Manβs favorite dating app? A: Webly!
- Q: What does Spider-Man call it when his jokes bomb? A: A sticky situation.
- Q: Why did Spider-Man get a job at the bakery? A: He heard they needed someone to make the cross-buns.
- Q: Whatβs Spider-Manβs favorite band? A: The Spin Doctors!
- Q: How does Spider-Man stay up-to-date on the news? A: He checks the Daily Bugle!
- Q: Whatβs Spider-Manβs favorite Broadway show? A: Hairspray!
- Q: Why did Spider-Man become a photographer? A: He loves to catch things in his web.
- Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato! (Wait, thatβs not Spider-Manβ¦but itβs still funny, right?)
- Q: Where does Spider-Man charge his phone? A: On a USB-C web!
- Q: What did Spider-Man say to the villain who stole all the ropes? A: βThat really untied the room.β
- Q: Whatβs Spider-Manβs favorite card game? A: Bridge! (Get it? Because of websβ¦?)
- Q: Why was Spider-Manβs electricity bill so low? A: He had all the power he needed!
- Q: What did Spider-Man say to his tailor? A: βSuit me up!β
Spider-Man Knock-Knock Jokes That Will Have You Saying βWeb-derful!β
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Spider. Spider who? Spider-Man, here to spin you a web of laughter!
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Spiderman. Spiderman who? Spiderman can, but a spider canβt!
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Web. Web who? Web you be my sidekick, Spider-Man?
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Spidey. Spidey who? Spidey-come, spidey-go, did you see that villain go?
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Aunt. Aunt who? Aunt you glad Iβm Spider-Man and not Iron Man?
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Eight. Eight who? Eight legs are better than two when youβre Spider-Man, dude!
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Mary. Mary who? Mary Janeβs got nothing on my Spider-Man jokes!
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Venom. Venom who? Venom-ing to steal your Spider-Man costume!
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Green. Green who? Green Goblinβs got nothing on my knock-knock game, Spider-Man does!
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Wall. Wall who? Wall-crawling is thirsty work, got any pizza for Spider-Man?
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Uncle. Uncle who? Uncle Ben says with great jokes comes great responsibility!
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Symbiote. Symbiote who? Symbiote be a shame if someone stole your Spider-Man costume!
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Daily. Daily who? Daily Bugle wants to know if these Spider-Man jokes are funny!
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Amazing! Amazing who? Amazing how Spider-Man always has a funny knock-knock joke ready!
- Knock, knock! Whoβs there? Radioactive. Radioactive who? Radioactive spider bites are funnyβ¦ said no one ever, except maybe Spider-Man!
Spider-Man Pun Names: Weβre Totally Web-Bent On These!
- Peter Parkour
- WebMD Pro
- The Amazing Bulk Order Man
- Sticky Fingers McGraw
- Captain Arachnid-World
- The Web Designer
- Your Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man
- The Wall Crawler & Son Moving Company
- Webslinging Fun for Hire
- Sir Spins-a-Lot
- Spider-Man Jr. Attorney at Law
- Peter Parkourβs Parkour Park
- Miles Morales: Morale Booster
- Spider-Verse of Madness (Sale at Macyβs)
- Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends (a Carpool Service)
Thatβs All, Folks! Web Out! π πΈοΈ
And there you have it, folks! Enough Spider-Man jokes to make you laugh faster than a web-slinger chasing a churro truck. We hope you enjoyed these web-slinging wisecracks. For more puns and jokes thatβll have you saying βShazam,β swing by our website β itβs got more laughs than a symbiote in a tickle fight!