150+ College Puns & Jokes: You’ll LOL in Class!

Hey there, future college stars (and current sufferers of all-nighters 😂)! Ready to trade those textbooks for tickle trunks?! 🤣 This list of the best college puns and jokes is about to make your day infinitely more humorous. Get ready for a cram session of clever quips and funny anecdotes that even your philosophy professor would crack a smile at. We’ve got jokes about dorm life, professors, and everything in between. The best part? This list of laugh-out-loud moments is totally for kids of all ages – from freshmen to, well, anyone who remembers those ramen-fueled days. Let’s get punny! 🎉

Top College Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Get Ready to Pro-crasti-nate with Laughter

1. Why did the Sun skip college? ☀️ It already has a million degrees! 🌡️
2. I used to be addicted to the hokey pokey… but then I turned myself around. 🔄
3. What do you call it when a group of apes starts a school? A primate academy! 🦍📚
4. What’s the difference between a train and a teacher? A teacher says “Spit that gum out!” and a train says “CHEW CHEW!” 🚂
5. My dad constantly tells me to pursue my dreams… so I’m going back to bed. 😴
6. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato! 🦘🥔
7. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs! 🐆🃏
8. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. 🤨
9. What’s the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know and I don’t care. 🤷‍♂️
10. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field! 🌾🏆
11. Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It’s fine, he woke up! 😴
12. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one! ⛳👖
13. What does oblivious mean? No idea! 🤔
14. I used to be a baker… but I didn’t make enough dough. 🍞💸
15. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything! ⚛️🤥
16. Why is it so windy in a sports stadium? All those fans! 💨🏟️

Funny College One-Liner Jokes: Because Studying Shouldn’t Be the Only Thing Cracking You Up

1. I was going to organize a time travelers’ party, but no one showed up.
2. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
3. I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
4. What do you call an angry carrot? A steamed veggie!
5. My grades are like a mirror, if you want to see improvement you have to look at yourself.
6. What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind? A maybe.
7. I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.
8. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!
9. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
10. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
11. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef!
12. Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole-in-one!
13. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet. I don’t know y!
14. What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a unicycle and a well-dressed man on a bicycle? Attire!
15. What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!

QnA Jokes & Puns about College: Get Ready to LOL in the Library

1. Q: Why did the Sun skip college? A: It already has a million degrees!
2. Q: What’s the difference between a college student and a garbage truck? A: The garbage truck only has to pick up trash once a week.
3. Q: How do you make college shorten your name? A: Graduate.
4. Q: What did the history book say to the textbook on math? A: “Wow, you’ve got problems!”
5. Q: Why did the music note get bad grades in college? A: It was always flat!
6. Q: What do you call a test tube with a college degree? A: A graduated cylinder!
7. Q: Why did the college student bring a ladder to their philosophy exam? A: They heard the questions were a bit on the abstract side!
8. Q: Why did the English major break up with the History major? A: They said, “You’re too focused on the past!”
9. Q: What’s the most popular college major for ghosts? A: BOO-ology!
10. Q: How can you tell if someone went to your rival college? A: Don’t worry, they’ll tell you!
11. Q: Why was the equal sign so humble in college? A: They knew they weren’t less than or greater than anyone else.
12. Q: What’s the difference between a coffee machine and college? A: A coffee machine can make a cup of coffee, but college makes you a cup poorer.
13. Q: Why is being a college student like being in the shower? A: One minute you’re on top of the world, the next minute you’re being tested!
14. Q: What do you call a group of stressed-out college students? A: A study cram.
15. Q: What did the tired college student say to their alarm clock? A: “Snooze you lose!”
16. Q: Why did the professor bring a spoon to the lecture on procrastination? A: To stir up some motivation!
17. Q: What website do lonely college hearts visit? A: Facebook. (Get it? They’re looking for a date-a-base!)

Dad Jokes about College: Tuition Be Kidding Me With These Knee-Slappers!

1. Why did the Sun skip college? It already has a million degrees!
2. What do you call a test tube with a college degree? A graduated cylinder!
3. You know, I took a course in speed reading at college… Finished War and Peace in 20 minutes! Turns out it’s about Russia.
4. I thought about being a history major in college, but all the good jobs were already taken.
5. Why did the music major get lost on the way to class? He took the forte too literally.
6. My son’s failing every subject except for mime, in which he’s excelling. It’s his best subject by a long shot.
7. Just got my son’s tuition bill from college. Ouch! Looks like I need to apply for a scolarship!
8. What’s the difference between a college student and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.
9. Did you hear about the college student who got arrested for selling furniture? He was charged with stealing desks!
10. Remember son, college is like a bubble bath: Once you’re in it too long, it starts to get boring…and you’re the one who stinks.
11. Why did the college student bring a ladder to their exam? They heard the questions were going to be a bit high-brow!
12. What’s the most important thing I learned in college? The nap schedule.
13. I visited my daughter at college the other day. She seems to be doing well living in that shoebox!
14. My son asked me to help him with his college Algebra. I told him, “Sorry, buddy, that’s your X I don’t want to talk about it!”
15. I’m so proud my daughter finished college and is working with animals. She’s now a dog groomer!
16. My son’s majoring in Archaeology. He’s really digging it!

Funny Quotes About College: Because Laughter is the Best Study Break

1. “I’m not sure what’s tighter, our jeans or our college budget.” – Anonymous
2. “Sleep, study, social life: Pick two. Because college is all about making tough choices, like between pizza toppings.” – Anonymous
3. “Education is important. But big-screen TVs are important too.” – Homer Simpson, offering his own brand of college wisdom.
4. “The best thing about college is that the syllabi are like contracts you sign with yourself… that you can break whenever you want.” – Anonymous
5. “Remember the excitement of your first all-nighter in college? Yeah, me neither.” – Anonymous
6. “Procrastination: The art of keeping up with yesterday.” – Anonymous, probably while cramming for a college exam.
7. “College is about learning how to handle being broke, stressed, and caffeinated all at the same time.” – Anonymous
8. “I’m not saying college is stressful, but I once saw a squirrel start a GoFundMe for its acorn addiction.” – Anonymous
9. “In college, ‘I got dressed today’ counts as ‘taking care of myself.'” – Anonymous
10. “The only reason I’m in college is to find a spouse, because clearly, my parents didn’t do a very good job.” – Anonymous
11. “My biggest fear isn’t failing out of college. It’s running into my high school guidance counselor afterward.” – Anonymous
12. “That awkward moment when you graduate college and realize you still have no idea what you want to be when you grow up.” – Anonymous
13. “College is like a buffet of knowledge. But instead of trying everything, I just load up on the same three things I like.” – Anonymous

Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about College: Get Schooled in Laughter

1. A full course load is worth a thousand yawns. (A twist on “A picture is worth a thousand words”)
2. You can lead a student to the library, but you can’t make them think. (Adapted from “You can lead a horse to water…”)
3. Procrastination is the thief of time… and a master of last-minute miracles.
4. Early to bed, early to rise, makes a person miss all the good parties. (A college twist on the classic saying)
5. An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but a pizza slice a day keeps the homesickness at bay.
6. Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you’ll never see him at the dining hall again.
7. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. (Procrastinators unite!)
8. Ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee… especially if you haven’t finished that 10-page paper.
9. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but its libraries probably had better Wi-Fi than this.
10. The pen is mightier than the sword, especially during finals week when sleep deprivation makes everyone a little stabby.
11. Don’t cry over spilled milk, unless it’s your third cup of coffee this morning and you still can’t find your ID card.
12. Good things come to those who wait, but procrastinators usually find out what those things are on the last day of class.
13. Laughter is the best medicine, except when you’re trying to explain to your professor why you missed their 8 a.m. lecture.
14. Two heads are better than one, especially when trying to decipher a professor’s handwriting on the whiteboard.
15. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, except for all-nighters. Those just make you question your life choices.
16. The grass is always greener on the other side… of graduation.
17. You can’t take it with you when you go… unless “it” is the mountain of student loan debt.

College Double Entendres Puns: Where the grades are made up and the puns are 💯

1. “I’m really feeling the pressure in my thermodynamics class.” (Academic stress or explosive potential?)
2. “My roommate walks me home every night after our study session.” (Study buddies or something more?)
3. “I got a full ride on my history exam.” (Perfect score or a wild guessing spree?)
4. “I aced my anatomy class, but I couldn’t dissect a frog to save my life.” (Book smart or squeamish?)
5. “My philosophy professor said he saw my potential, then he failed me.” (Unfulfilled promise or brutally honest feedback?)
6. “I spent all night cramming for my exam.” (Intense studying or questionable sleeping arrangements?)
7. “I’m failing my online classes, I guess you could say I’m not logging in enough.” (Skipping online lectures or failing to grasp the material?)
8. “I took my date to the library for a little ‘research’.” (Academic pursuits or a different kind of study session?)
9. “The only thing I’m qualified for after graduation is making coffee.” (Feeling underprepared for the job market or barista extraordinaire?)
10. “My professor said my paper needed more ‘support’.” (Lack of evidence or a desperate plea for help?)
11. “I’m having a serious relationship with my textbooks.” (Dedicated student or tragically single?)
12. “The cafeteria food is killing me.” (Terrible cuisine or slowly poisoning the student body?)
13. “I pulled an all-nighter, but I still feel drained.” (Lack of sleep or metaphorical energy depletion?)
14. “I heard the professor’s lecture was going to be stimulating.” (Engaging material or unexpectedly suggestive content?)
15. “I’m dropping out of this class, it’s not giving me what I need.” (Unsuitable course load or relationship problems?)
16. “My GPA is really going down on me.” (Academic decline or a personal betrayal?)

Recursive Puns About College: You’ll Never Get to the Bottom of These

1. Why did the recursion student fail his exam? Because he kept getting lost in thought… Which reminded him of the time he got lost in thought… Which reminded him of the time he got lost in thought…
2. What’s a college student’s favorite data structure? A tree-mendous amount of homework. Why? Because they have branches of assignments… Which have branches of assignments… Which have branches of assignments…
3. Why was the recursive function always invited to parties? Because it knew how to call itself out… on the dance floor… which reminded it of how to call itself out… on the dance floor…
4. How do you make a fortune in college? With a crypto-currency? No, with a recurrency… which you invest in another recurrency… which you invest in another recurrency…
5. What’s a college student’s favorite type of coffee? Java… which runs on their laptop… which they use to study Java… which runs on their laptop…
6. Why did the professor bring a ladder to the recursion lecture? To reach the higher levels of understanding… of recursion… which requires understanding the higher levels of understanding… of recursion…
7. What do you call an infinite loop in the dining hall? The freshman fifteen… which makes you want to eat more… which leads to the freshman fifteen… which makes you want to eat more…
8. Why did the recursive function get lost in the library? It kept going down the wrong stacks… of books… which led it to more wrong stacks… of books… which led it to more wrong stacks…
9. What’s the most confusing subject in college? Recursion… because it’s recursion… because it’s recursion… because it’s recursion…
10. Why was the computer science student so tired? They stayed up all night debugging a recursive function… which kept calling itself… which kept the student up all night debugging… which kept the function calling itself…
11. What’s the definition of procrastination? Putting things off until later… which is defined as putting things off until later… which is defined as putting things off until later…
12. How do you get a college student’s attention? Give them a problem to solve… which reminds them of another problem to solve… which reminds them of another problem to solve…
13. Why did the professor assign a paper on self-referential humor? Because it was a meta-assignment… about meta-humor… which is a meta-assignment… about meta-humor…
14. How do you know you’ve been in college too long? When you start explaining things recursively… which is to say, you explain things recursively… which is to say, you explain things recursively…
15. What’s the best way to study for a philosophy exam? By thinking deeply about the meaning of life… which makes you think deeply about the meaning of life… which makes you think deeply about the meaning of life…
16. Why did the art student paint a picture of a mirror reflecting a picture of a mirror? Because they were trying to capture the essence of recursion… in art… which is like capturing the essence of recursion… in art…
17. What happens when you combine sleep deprivation and recursion? You get a student who dreams about code… that dreams about code… that dreams about code…

College Tom Swifties – Jokes and Puns Guaranteed to Make You Graduate with Honors in Hilarity

1. “I need to calculate the integral of this function,” Tom said integrally.
2. “My roommate just declared a double major in philosophy and dance,” Tom said abstractly.
3. “This textbook cost me an arm and a leg!” Tom said financially.
4. “My history professor keeps falling asleep during his lectures,” Tom said drowsily.
5. “I got a perfect score on my organic chemistry midterm!” Tom said organically.
6. “My dorm room is so small, I can barely turn around,” Tom said sparsely.
7. “This coffee is way too strong,” Tom said weakly.
8. “I can’t believe I slept through my alarm again,” Tom said alarmingly.
9. “My philosophy professor told us to be skeptical of everything,” Tom said doubtfully.
10. “I think I’ll major in computer science,” Tom said calculatingly.
11. “The dining hall food is terrible,” Tom said tastelessly.
12. “I’m going to study abroad in Paris next semester!” Tom said triumphantly.
13. “My student loans are piling up,” Tom said heavily.
14. “I aced that pop quiz!” Tom said testily.
15. “This essay is due tomorrow? I’m doomed!” Tom said literally.
16. “This party is absolutely wild!” Tom said animatedly.
17. “I think I’m failing this class,” Tom said degradingly.

College Spoonerisms: Freudian slips or freshman flubs?

1. “Time to cudy for my stasses!” (Study for my classes)
2. “Did you hear the lecture on bark meology?” (Dark ecology)
3. “I can’t find my shoemates!” (Roommates)
4. “That lecture on chistory really bored my socks off.” (History… bored my socks off is intentional)
5. I need to get this sailbus syllabus from the professor.” (Syllabus…sailboat syllabus is intentional)
6. “The food in the dining hall is hit or miss… mostly hiss.” (Hit or miss)
7. “My mom keeps calling, she’s such a worrier pain.” (Pain… worrier is intentional)
8. I think I have a crush on my pycology professor.” (Psychology)
9. “Did you finish the hesearch paper on the beezle?” (Research… the Beezle is intentional)
10. “Welcome to Frosh Week! Let’s get this party slarted!” (Fresh Week… party started is intentional)
11. “He’s such a book smarty.” (Smart bookworm)
12. “I spent all night cramming for that hest.” (Test)
13. Let’s go ask the teaching asistant, he’s a real whiz kid.” (Teaching assistant… wiz kid is intentional)
14. “I can’t believe I slept through my alarm clock. I’m such a deep sleaper!” (Deep sleeper)
15. “My roommate is driving me crazy! He’s always playing loud muse-ic.” (Music)
16. “This weekend, I’m just going to relax and chillax my brin.” (Relax my brain)
17. “Man, that exam was hard. I totally choked on that last lotion.” (Choked on that last question)

Class Dismissed: That’s All, Folks!

We hope these 150+ college puns and jokes didn’t go over your head! If you’re feeling studious, our website has a plethora of other hilarious puns and jokes to cram into your brain. Remember, laughter is the best form of procrastination!

About the Author: Sarah Ejaz

I, Sarah Ejaz, am the creative force behind ThePunnyWorld.com, your premier destination for chuckles and chortles. With my expertise in English Literature and extensive experience as a freelance creative writer, I craft jokes and puns that light up your day. Explore our world for your daily dose of humor, and let the good times roll! Find and read here my Best Puns.

Facebook Page Instagram Pinterest Threads X.com YouTube