150+ Secretary Puns & Jokes: You’re Gonna Want a Raise After These!

Hold onto your keyboards, folks, because we’re about to dive into the best (and by best, we mean most punny 😉) collection of secretary jokes this side of the filing cabinet! 😂 Get ready for a list of clever quips and funny anecdotes that are sure to brighten your day. Whether you’re looking for some office humor or jokes about the administrative heroes of the workplace, we’ve got you covered. Don’t worry, these puns are positive and office-appropriate – no HR nightmares here! 🎉 Let’s get this laugh-er, I mean meeting, started!

Top Secretary Puns & Jokes That Will Make You File for Hilarity

1. Why did the secretary bring a ladder to work? To climb the corporate ladder, one step at a time!
2. I met a secretary who could finish any task in five minutes flat. Turns out she was a…short-hand expert!
3. You know you’re a legendary secretary when… you can find your boss’s missing stapler just by “sensing” its aura.
4. What do you call a secretary who’s always got your back, even when the WiFi’s down? A true “offline supporter”!
5. I once told a secretary, “You’re the best!” She replied, “Dictation, please. I need this for my performance review.”
6. What’s a secretary’s favorite font? Times New Roman…tic Comedy (they deserve a laugh too!).
7. Heard about the secretary who was always cold? Turns out her boss kept leaving her out of the loop!
8. My secretary is so organized, her desk drawers are color-coded by the emotional stability of the client.
9. Secretaries: They’re not just good with schedules; they’re masters of “Time Lord” level organization.
10. Why did the secretary win an award? Because she was out-standing in her field!
11. My secretary can type so fast, she could write a novel before the coffee gets cold.
12. Never underestimate a secretary with a headset. They’ve heard it all… and probably have receipts.
13. How does a secretary make a tea party super exclusive? By sending out “minutes” instead of invitations.
14. I tried to tell a joke about a secretary, but it was too administrative… it got tied up in red tape.
15. If you need something done in the office, ask a busy secretary. They’re masters of productivity magic!

Secretary One-Liner Jokes That Will Have You Saying “That’s My Stapler!”

1. Why did the secretary bring a ladder to work? To reach her filing goals!
2. My secretary is always cold, so we keep the office thermostat at 70… degrees Fahrenheit, of course.
3. Heard they’re replacing the office coffee machine with a secretary. Apparently, it can handle more brewing arguments.
4. A secretary walks into a stationery store and asks, “Do you have any correction fluid for bad decisions? Asking for my boss.”
5. Being a secretary is like being a superhero. Everyone knows your powers are essential, but nobody wants your job.
6. My secretary’s so organized, she color-codes her sticky notes… by flavor.
7. Never underestimate a secretary who can type 60 words per minute… especially if those words are “You’re fired.”
8. Our secretary is fluent in sarcasm. We call her the “Passive-Aggressive Whisperer.”
9. What’s the difference between a secretary and a time traveler? A secretary can handle the present tense.
10. The secretary quit her job because she was tired of being the only one who knew how to use the three-hole punch.
11. My secretary is so good at multitasking, she can file her nails and a lawsuit at the same time.
12. I told my secretary to mark my calendar for a vacation. She asked, “Which year?”
13. The boss yelled at the secretary for misspelling “indubitably.” She calmly replied, “Well, you certainly don’t make it easy.”
14. What do you call a secretary who can predict the future? A schedule psychic!
15. Why did the secretary win an award for being quiet? She excelled at keeping her “memos” to herself.

Quotes about ‘Secretary’ That Will Make You File for Laughter

1. “Behind every great boss is a secretary rolling their eyes.”
2. “A secretary is like a ninja, but with staplers instead of throwing stars.”
3. “I’m not saying my secretary runs this office, but I did see her watering my boss.”
4. “Being a secretary is easy. It’s like riding a bike, except the bike is on fire and the ground is sharks.”
5. “My therapist told me to keep a stress ball on my desk. Apparently, throwing it at my secretary wasn’t the answer.”
6. “I asked my secretary what the sound of one hand clapping was. She said, ‘Probably you trying to fix the printer again.'”
7. “My secretary can find anything. Seriously, I lost my mind once, and she found it before I missed it.”
8. “Coffee in one hand, fire extinguisher in the other. Just another day at the office for a secretary.”
9. “They say laughter is the best medicine. I guess that’s why my secretary spends so much time with the boss.”
10. “The office romance is a dangerous game. Especially when you’re the secretary and you hold all the calendar appointments.”
11. “My secretary’s organizational skills are so good, she alphabetizes her grocery list by aisle.”
12. “I came, I saw, I made eye contact with the secretary. Mission accomplished.”
13. “Being a secretary is 90% knowing where things are and 10% pretending you knew all along.”
14. “I’m convinced my secretary is a mind reader. She always seems to know what I need before I do, which is slightly terrifying.”
15. “Being a secretary: Because someone has to be the glue that holds the asylum together.”

Dad Jokes about ‘Secretary’ So Punny They Should File a Restraining Order

1. I told my secretary to make a reservation at a fancy restaurant. She said, “Filet mignon?” I said, “No, I want to eat there!”
2. My secretary asked if I could take dictation. I said, “Of course! Now, which side of the mountain do you want to live on?”
3. Why did the secretary bring a ladder to work? Because she heard it was a step-up opportunity!
4. My secretary is addicted to Twitter… I think she’s following the wrong career path.
5. My secretary is always cold, so I bought her a space heater. Now she’s a hot commodity!
6. How does a secretary answer the phone when she’s sick? “Cough, cough… it’s speaking!”
7. I asked my secretary to make me a coffee… she said, “Espresso?” I said, “Don’t tell me what to do!”
8. My secretary just got a promotion for being so organized. They gave her a raise and more filing cabinets. Sounds like a cabinet position to me!
9. Why did the secretary get fired from the bank? For taking notes… on the job!
10. A good secretary is worth their weight in gold… a bad one, in paperclips.
11. My secretary asked if she could leave early. I said, “Only if you can jump over that pile of paperwork!”
12. What do you call a secretary who can read minds? A secret…ary!
13. Always be nice to your secretary… they control the stationery!
14. I asked my secretary what the opposite of coffee break was. She said, “Work break.”
15. My secretary is always losing her stapler. I tell her, “Just put a tracker on it!” She says, “But then it wouldn’t be a stapler anymore, it would be a go-pler!”

Secretary Silliness: Puns & Jokes for Kids

1. What’s a secretary’s favorite kind of tea? Secre-tea! 🤫
2. Why did the secretary bring a ladder to work? To reach the high-filing cabinet! 🗄️
3. How does a secretary make a tissue dance? They put a little boogie in it! 🤧
4. What did the boss say to the secretary who was always cold? “You must have a window open somewhere!” 🥶
5. Why did the secretary win an award? For being out-standing in her field! 🏆
6. Where do secretaries learn to type? Boarding school! ⌨️
7. Never argue with a secretary… They always have the last word! 📝
8. Why did the secretary bring a pencil to the baseball game? To keep track of the score! ⚾️
9. What do you call a secretary who can read minds? A secre-wary! 🤔
10. How do you know if a secretary is having a bad day? They staple your sandwich to your lunch bag! 🥪
11. What’s a secretary’s favorite snack? Filet-o-fish! 🐟
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like to be the secretary today? 😂
13. Why did the secretary get lost on her way to the office? She took a detour! 🛣️
14. What did the computer say to the secretary? “You’re the key to my success!” 😉
15. How does a secretary start a race? Ready, set, type! 🏁

Secretary’ Double Entendres Puns: Because Taking Minutes Has Never Been So Funny

1. She’s the best secretary a CEO could ask for… if you’re asking for trouble, that is.
2. The secretary told me she was proficient in shorthand… Turns out, she meant taking things that don’t belong to her.
3. I asked the secretary for a date. She said, “I don’t date coworkers, only minute them.”
4. The secretary said she was great at multitasking. Turns out, “multi” was an understatement.
5. Being a secretary is a demanding job… mostly demanding drinks after work, if you know what I mean.
6. The secretary said she had excellent filing skills. I later found out she meant tax returns in the Cayman Islands.
7. They say a good secretary is hard to find. In her case, it’s because she’s usually under the desk looking for something.
8. The secretary is the keeper of all the office secrets… and by “secrets,” I mean the good snacks she hides in her desk.
9. She’s not just a good secretary, she’s an excellent one… at least that’s what she keeps telling everyone.
10. I heard the secretary was good at keeping things organized. Turns out, those “things” were other people’s husbands.
11. The secretary told me she had an impressive track record… of arriving late and leaving early.
12. I saw the secretary shredding some documents. When I asked what she was doing, she winked and said, “Just destroying the evidence.”
13. I thought about flirting with the new secretary, but then I realized I could be fired… by HR and my wife.
14. My secretary can handle anything you throw at her… Except for my phone calls, those seem to go straight to voicemail.
15. Being a secretary is like being a superhero… You have a secret identity, and your biggest power is making your boss look good.

Secretary-ly Speaking: Recursive Puns So Good, They’ll Have You Saying “Copy That!”

1. Why was the secretary always tired? Because she was always “minute”-ing her own business!
2. This company needs a secretary so badly, it’s becoming a “secret”…ary issue.
3. The secretary was such a grammar expert; she could conjugate “secretary” in six different tenses… all before her coffee break.
4. I told the secretary a joke about procrastination. She said she’d “file” it under “things to laugh at later.”
5. The secretary was so organized, she even had a “secretary” for her secretary.
6. You know you’ve found the world’s best secretary when they’re efficient enough to “secretary” themselves out of a job.
7. The secretary was so good at her job, she could “secretary” circles around everyone else.
8. Our company is so top secret, even the secretary is a “secret”…ary agent.
9. Working as a secretary: It’s not for everyone, but those who can handle it “secretary” love it.
10. The secretary was so dedicated, she even named her cat “Xerox” – a true “secretary” companion.
11. I walked into the office and said, “I need to see the secretary.” The receptionist replied, “She’s on a “secret”…ary mission!”
12. Rumor has it, the company’s success is a “secret”…ary weapon: an amazing administrative assistant.
13. The life of a secretary: Full of “minute” details, but they really “matter” in the grand scheme of things.
14. Being a great secretary is a fine art. You could even call it a “secret”…ary technique.
15. Why did the secretary win an award? Because she was truly “outstand”…ing!

Secretary Shenanigans: QnA Jokes & Puns to Tickle Your Funny Bone

1. Q: Why did the secretary bring a ladder to work? A: To reach the high filing cabinet!
2. Q: What’s a secretary’s favorite font? A: Arial bold, of course!
3. Q: How can you tell a secretary is a good problem solver? A: They know how to dele-gate!
4. Q: What did the secretary say when the boss asked if she finished the report? A: “I’m write on it!”
5. Q: Why did the secretary win an award for origami? A: She was amazing at minute taking!
6. Q: What do you call a secretary who’s always running behind? A: A schedule slip!
7. Q: How does a secretary make a tea on a hectic day? A: They multi-task!
8. Q: Why was the secretary so good at her job? A: She was incredibly organized crime! (Oops, I mean organized!)
9. Q: What did the secretary say when the office plant wouldn’t grow? A: “Maybe it needs more meeting space?”
10. Q: Why did the secretary quit her job at the bank? A: She was tired of dealing with all the sticky notes!
11. Q: What’s a secretary’s favorite music genre? A: Anything with a good beat!
12. Q: Did you hear about the secretary who was also a psychic? A: She could predict what the boss wanted before he even dictated it!
13. Q: How does a secretary stay warm in a cold office? A: They wear layers of administrative wear!
14. Q: What did the secretary say to the computer? A: “You auto-know better!”
15. Q: Why did the secretary go to art school? A: She wanted to master the art of the schedule!

Secretary Knock-Knock Jokes That Will Have You Filing for More Hilarity

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Secret. Secret who? Secret-ary, your day is about to get much more organized!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Norma. Norma who? Norma-lly, the secretary answers the door, not me!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Minute. Minute who? Minute as well get this paperwork to the secretary, she’s waiting!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? File. File who? File this under things the secretary told me to do!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Paper. Paper who? Paper cut my finger, gotta ask the secretary for a Band-Aid!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Schedule. Schedule who? Schedule says it’s time to thank the secretary for her hard work!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Coffee. Coffee who? Coffee bring a smile to the secretary’s face, right?
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Meeting. Meeting who? Meeting the new secretary, what’s her name again?
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Stapler. Stapler who? Stapler this to the report for the secretary, would you?
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Phone. Phone who? Phone’s ringing off the hook, better tell the secretary!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Appointment. Appointment who? Appointment’s in ten minutes, better tell the secretary!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Memo. Memo who? Memo to self: Get the secretary a thank you card!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Keyboard. Keyboard who? Keyboard broken, someone tell the secretary!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Printer. Printer who? Printer’s jammed again, the secretary’s not going to be happy!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Organized. Organized who? Organized chaos, just another day for the secretary!

Secretary Pun Names: Because “Assistant to the Regional Manager” Doesn’t Fit on a Business Card

1. Secre-Terry the Intern (Because everyone asks Terry for the real secretary)
2. Minutia Malone, Secretary of Details (Her middle name is “Don’t Miss A”)
3. File-o-saurus Rex (The undisputed king/queen of the filing cabinet)
4. Buzz E. Mee (Handles all the important calls)
5. Tabitha “Spreadsheet Ninja” Jones (Can conquer any column or row)
6. Post-It Noteworthy (Leaves reminders that are impossible to ignore)
7. Coffee Klatch Katelyn (Knows everyone’s coffee order)
8. Sir/Lady Red Tapealot (Guardian of the Proper Procedures)
9. Calendar McCalendareson (Booking appointments since the invention of the day planner)
10. Percy “The Paperclip” Stevenson (Always keeps things together… somehow)
11. Alice In-Wonderlandline (Patching you through to who-knows-where)
12. Olivia “Office Supplies” Newton-John (Has a hidden talent for singing about staplers)
13. Agenda Bender (Master manipulator of the daily schedule)
14. Shirley “You’ve Got Mail” Temple (The OG email notification sound)
15. The Dockettor (They can cure what ails your workflow)

That’s All, Folks! No More Filing for Laughs!

We hope these secretary jokes and puns left you feeling anything BUT type-cast! If you’re still craving more side-splitting wordplay, don’t just sit there filing your nails! Take a coffee break and explore the rest of our punny website. We guarantee it’ll be the highlight of your day… unless you get free donuts in the breakroom, then it’ll be a close second.

About the Author: Sarah Ejaz

I, Sarah Ejaz, am the creative force behind ThePunnyWorld.com, your premier destination for chuckles and chortles. With my expertise in English Literature and extensive experience as a freelance creative writer, I craft jokes and puns that light up your day. Explore our world for your daily dose of humor, and let the good times roll! Find and read here my Best Puns.

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