125+ Mustache Puns & Jokes To Make You Laugh Your Stache Off

Hold onto your handlebars, folks, because you’re about to enter the ‘stacheosphere – a realm teeming with the best mustache puns and jokes about those furry upper lip warmers! 👨🏻 This list of clever and funny quips is perfect for kids and adults alike, because who doesn’t love a little positive humor? Get ready to “grow” your repertoire of jokes – these are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone! 😂💯

Top Mustache Puns & Jokes So Funny They’ll Tickle Your Whiskers

1. My friend’s impressive mustache got its own zip code. It’s officially a lip-velope.
2. What does a hipster’s mustache and a good stock have in common? They both grow over time.
3. Why did the comedian tell a joke about facial hair? He was trying to get a handle-bar laugh.
4. What do you call a mustache competition with only two contestants? A stache-off!
5. I wanted to organize a support group for men with magnificent mustaches… but I couldn’t get anyone to follow through.
6. What did the mustache say to the face? “We’re really growing on each other, aren’t we?”
7. I used to have a handlebar mustache, but I had to shave it. It was getting in the way of my soup-erb culinary skills.
8. My friend told me I needed more “me time.” So I grew a mustache. Now I have “me-stache time.”
9. They say laughter is the best medicine, but a good mustache comes in a close second. It’s all about that upper lip service.
10. My mustache is so sophisticated, it only drinks aged whiskey and quotes Nietzsche.
11. Never ask a man with a handlebar mustache where he got it. It’s probably a hairy situation.
12. I saw a dog with a perfectly groomed mustache the other day. Turns out he was a schnauzer-to-be.
13. You know you’ve made it in life when your mustache has its own fan club.
14. I tried to tell a joke about how to trim a mustache… but it’s all too edgy.

Mustache-tastic One-Liner Jokes That Will Tickle Your Funny Bone

1. I tried to grow a mustache, but my upper lip said, “Nah, let’s keep it a slip-and-slide.”
2. My mustache is so impressive, it has its own agent… a talent scout saw it catching crumbs like a pro.
3. You know you’ve had your mustache too long when birds start leaving twigs and berries on it for their nest.
4. I used to have a handlebar mustache, but then it got tired and wanted to retire to Florida.
5. My mustache is like a wild animal… I have to train it with a tiny comb and bribe it with beard oil to behave.
6. My dad’s mustache is so thick, I swear I saw a squirrel hibernating in it last winter.
7. I’m not saying my mustache is magical, but every time I shave it off, I age ten years.
8. Having a mustache is like having a built-in snack catcher… it’s both convenient and slightly embarrassing.
9. My dating profile just says “Mustache Connoisseur”… ladies love a man who appreciates facial hair.
10. My mustache is so luxurious, I’m thinking of renting it out as a tiny, furry hammock.
11. I’m entering my mustache in a dog show… it’s already won “Best in Sniffing Out Snacks.”
12. I tried to explain to my barber what kind of mustache I wanted, but he just kept saying “Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
13. A good mustache comes with responsibilities… like never being able to hide your emotions from soup.
14. My mustache is so majestic, I swear it whispers life advice to me in the morning.
15. I don’t trust anyone who can eat a corn on the cob cleanly with a mustache… it’s just not natural.

Quotes about ‘Mustache’: Whisker Wisdom from the Upper Lip Legends

1. A mustache is like a furry pet you can grow on your face, without all that pesky feeding and walking.
2. Behind every great mustache is a man who’s tired of eating birthday cake with a spoon.
3. “It’s not a crumb catcher, it’s a flavor savor!” – Every mustache wearer ever.
4. Mustaches: Proof that even men like to accessorize, they’re just less obvious about it.
5. Never trust a man with a perfectly groomed mustache. He clearly has way too much time on his hands.
6. Life is like a mustache. It can be glorious or tragic, depending on the day and the amount of wax involved.
7. You know you’ve achieved peak adulthood when you spend more time grooming your mustache than you do your hair.
8. Some men are born with mustaches. Others achieve greatness by growing one.
9. A mustache is a statement, a warning, and a conversation starter, all neatly placed above your upper lip.
10. In the game of facial hair, the mustache is a power move, not for the faint of heart (or upper lip).
11. They say the eyes are the window to the soul. But the mustache? That’s the velvet curtain that adds a touch of mystery.
12. My therapist told me to embrace my flaws. Guess I’ll just grow this mustache a little longer then.
13. Women wear makeup. Men grow mustaches. Both are forms of self-expression, but only one lets you discreetly pick up tiny snacks.
14. Sure, I could shave it off. But then who would I be? (The answer is probably “someone who can finally drink soup without incident,” but shh).
15. A good mustache requires patience, dedication, and an understanding that sometimes, it has a mind of its own.

Dad Jokes about ‘Mustache’ So Funny They’ll Make Your Whiskers Twitch

1. I tried to buy my mustache some growth oil online, but they kept asking me to confirm I wasn’t a robot. My mustache was offended!
2. My mustache is so glorious, it has its own fan club. They meet every morning above my lip.
3. You know, I used to hate shaving every day, but now, I look forward to catching up with my mustache.
4. I’m thinking about entering my mustache in a competition, but I’m afraid it’ll be too stiff from all the awards it’s won before.
5. Wanted: Part-time gardener for meticulous mustache trimming. Must be comfortable with compliments.
6. My wife got mad at me for talking about my mustache too much. I told her, “Honey, we need to have a serious stache.”
7. My mustache is so well-groomed, it makes James Bond look like he needs a shave and a hug.
8. I went to a restaurant and ordered a “mustache ride.” The waiter just brought me a cup of coffee and a tiny motorcycle.
9. My mustache has its own zip code. It’s the hairiest area in the state!
10. I can tell the future just by looking at my mustache in the morning. Today, it’s predicting a delicious breakfast.
11. My doctor told me I needed more fiber in my diet. I told him, “Doc, have you seen my mustache? I think I’m good.”
12. They should put my mustache on the ten-dollar bill. You know, because it’s got such a great face value.
13. I tried to explain to my son that not everyone can grow a mustache like mine. He said, “Don’t worry, Dad, maybe someday you’ll be lucky like me!”
14. My mustache is so impressive, it could apply for a job as a broom.
15. I think my mustache is starting to develop an accent. It sounds a little bit British, don’t you think? Cheers!

Mustache Puns & Jokes for Kids: Prepare for Maximum Stache-yness!

1. Why did the mustache get a job at the circus? It was really good at catching popcorn!
2. What does a detective’s mustache say? “I smell a clue!”
3. What’s a mustache’s favorite food? Chili, because it likes it on top!
4. Where do caterpillars go to get mustaches? The tickle trunk!
5. Knock, knock! Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later!
6. Why don’t they allow mustaches on rollercoasters? They’re always holding on for dear life!
7. What do you call a mustache competition? A “hair-off”!
8. Why was the little mustache sad? It was feeling a little down in the mouth.
9. What did the mustache say to the face? “Hey, let’s be friends, I’ll stick with you!”
10. What kind of music do mustaches like? Hair-metal!
11. Why did the mustache cross the road? To get to the barbershop on the other side!
12. What’s a mustache’s favorite season? “Stache-tember”!
13. My friend said he wanted to grow a mustache like mine. I told him, “Go ahead, be a little bolder!”
14. What does a cat’s mustache do? Make it look whisker-ific!
15. How did the mustache know it was popular? It had lots of fans!

Mustache-terful Double Entendres Puns That Will Tickle Your Funny Bone

1. She said my handlebar mustache reminded her of her favorite bike ride. I think she was hitting on me.
2. Dating profiles are weird. One guy described his mustache as “artisanal” and “small-batch.” What’s next, craft mustache wax?
3. My wife hates my mustache, says it’s like kissing a hairy caterpillar. I told her, “At least it’s not a woolly mammoth like your Aunt Edna’s.”
4. The barista called my order wrong three times. I blame it on my mustache. It’s like a sound dampener for my words of caffeine desperation.
5. I tried to name my mustache “Sir Reginald Whiskers,” but my wife said it needed something more rugged, like “Steve.”
6. They say a mustache makes you look more distinguished. I’m starting to think they meant distinguished from everyone else in a five-mile radius.
7. My mustache has its own fan club. Okay, it’s just lint and cookie crumbs, but still…
8. My therapist says my dreams about my mustache are symbolic of a deep-seated need for control. Or maybe I just need to trim the dang thing?
9. I’m writing a memoir about my mustache. It’s going to be called “From Fuzz to Fabulous: A Hair-Raising Journey.”
10. I entered my mustache in the state fair. It came in second place in the “Most Likely to Get Stuck in a Zipper” category.
11. My grandma asked if my mustache came with its own comb. Little does she know, it has its own ecosystem.
12. They say opposites attract. That explains why my smooth-faced wife fell for my face fuzz.
13. My doctor said my mustache could be contributing to my vitamin D deficiency. Apparently, it’s blocking the sun…from my upper lip.
14. I used to think my mustache was a sign of maturity. Now I realize it’s just a sign I haven’t cleaned the bathroom mirror in a while.
15. The only thing cooler than a man with a mustache is a baby with a milk mustache…and even then, it’s a tough call.

Recursive Puns About ‘Mustache’: Prepare to be Stache-ing Awesome

1. What did the zen mustache say to the face? “Mustache, mustache… is there really a mustache?”
2. This whole “ironic mustache” trend is getting out of hand. I swear, next year, people will be ironically growing ironic mustaches.
3. I tried to tell a joke about my friend’s handlebar mustache… but it was too cheesy. Then I realized, it’s not cheesy, it’s mustache-y!
4. My mustache is so iconic, it has its own fan club. They call themselves the “Mustache-teers,” which I admit, is a pretty mustache-terful name.
5. Why don’t they allow mustaches in school? Because it’s all about keeping it real… and not getting too mustache-y.
6. My mustache is so luxurious, it should come with its own tiny comb and a bottle of conditioner. What? It’s not vain if it’s true… and mustache-licious.
7. You know you’ve made it in life when your mustache has its own personal stylist. Okay, I made that up… but wouldn’t that be mustache-nificent?
8. I tried to write a song about my mustache, but I couldn’t find the right words. It’s like every rhyme just seemed… too mustache-y.
9. Some people collect stamps, others collect coins. Me? I collect compliments on my mustache. My collection is already quite mustache-ive.
10. My barber told me my mustache has “character.” I think he meant it’s got a whole mustache-tude!
11. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, but my mustache? It speaks volumes… in a smooth, mustache-y baritone.
12. Life is like a mustache. It’s all about the twirls and flourishes… and keeping things perfectly mustache-ly groomed, of course.
13. I’m thinking about starting a mustache-themed escape room. The final puzzle? Figuring out how to escape with your dignity… and your mustache.
14. What’s the best thing about having a conversation with my mustache? It always listens… and never interrupts with mustache-takes.
15. My mustache isn’t just facial hair, it’s a statement. A declaration. A manifesto in mustache form. What can I say? It’s one mustache-nificient statement.

QnA Jokes & Puns about ‘Mustache’ So Funny, They’ll Tickle Your Whiskers

1. Q: What do you call a mustache that’s always getting into trouble? A: A whisker-taker!
2. Q: Why did the mustache get a job at the circus? A: It was great at catching popcorn!
3. Q: What does a sophisticated mustache drink? A: Whisky, neat.
4. Q: How do you fix a crooked mustache? A: With a stache-straightener!
5. Q: Why is it so hard to understand someone with a big mustache? A: They’re always mumbling through their lip foliage!
6. Q: What do you call a mustache competition? A: A battle of the ‘staches!
7. Q: Where does a mustache go to get pampered? A: The barber-shop-a!
8. Q: Why don’t mustaches get invited to parties? A: They tend to hog all the attention (and dip)!
9. Q: What’s a mustache’s favorite genre of music? A: Anything with a good beat…for brushing to!
10. Q: What do you call a mustache that can predict the future? A: A whisker of wisdom.
11. Q: Why did the mustache fail its driving test? A: It couldn’t see over the steering wheel.
12. Q: What’s the best way to compliment someone on their mustache? A: Stache-tastic!
13. Q: Why did the mustache cross the road? A: To get to the other side…of its face!
14. Q: What’s a mustache’s worst enemy? A: A good, stiff breeze.
15. Q: How do you make a mustache laugh? A: Tell it a hairy-larious joke!

Mustache Malapropisms: Facial Follicle Flubs For a Laugh

1. “My date had a magnificent ‘Moustache,’ a French word for twelve tiny cakes served after midnight.”
2. “He waxed his ‘Mustasch,’ a rare Swiss timepiece worn exclusively on Tuesdays.”
3. “She tickled my ‘Moostiche,’ an ancient Tibetan term of endearment reserved for lamas.”
4. “His ‘Musthatch’ was impressive, a small, thatched roof he’d built for his pet squirrel.”
5. “He groomed his ‘Mustachio,’ a complex Italian pasta dish served with a tiny rake.”
6. “Her ‘Muscachet’ was undeniable, a hidden fragrance compartment only accessible by whispering the secret password.”
7. “The barber styled his ‘Mustachetti,’ two miniature fencing swords worn above the lip in 17th century France.”
8. “He stroked his ‘Moushtache,’ a mythical creature said to grant wishes in exchange for belly rubs.”
9. “His ‘Mustaschio’ was legendary, a secret family recipe for invisible ink passed down for generations.”
10. “She admired his ‘Mustasque,’ a daring French fashion accessory involving a live sparrow perched on the upper lip.”
11. “He adjusted his ‘Mousetache,’ a tiny, exquisitely crafted staircase designed for rodents.”
12. “‘Mustashier!’ he declared, raising his glass in a toast to the God of Accidental Inventions.”
13. “I bought a ‘Mustachioed’ car, which came with a free lifetime supply of wax.”
14. “Their ‘Mustachery’ was on full display, a collection of rare and exotic mustaches preserved in glass cases.”
15. “She whispered sweet nothings into his ‘Mustashell,’ a conch shell believed to amplify whispers a thousandfold.”

Mustache Spoonerisms: You’ll Be Tickled With These Whisker Quips

1. Hush, that’s my mushtache!
2. My wusstache is insured for a thousand dollars.
3. I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.
4. That’s not a trusstache, it’s a family heirloom!
5. I wash my mushtache with dish soap, it’s tougher on grease.
6. This busstache is out of control, I need a trim!
7. You’ve got a little something… oh, it’s just your mushstache.
8. My worst nightmare? Waking up with my mushtache missing!
9. She loves to twirl her husband’s bushy mushtache.
10. He used shoe polish to touch up his gray mushtache.
11. “Excuse me, your mushtache is on fire,” the waiter whispered.
12. They say behind every great mushtache is a great woman.
13. I’m thinking of entering my mushtache in the state fair.
14. He waxed his mushtache for the photo shoot.
15. Don’t talk with your mushtache full, son.

Mustache Pun Names That Will Tickle Your Funny Bone-anza

1. Sir Tache-A-Lot
2. Monty Carlo Mustache
3. The Mustache Cache
4. Hairy Potter and the Goblet of Mustache Wax
5. Mustache Bros. Moving Co. “We’re Hair to Handle It”
6. The Order of the Golden ‘Stache
7. Professor Lip Warmer’s Mustachery
8. Tom Selleck and the Raiders of the Lost Mustache Comb
9. The ‘Stache Whisperer
10. Mustachioed Mayhem: A Facial Hair Follicle Follies
11. Curlin’ Up With a Good Mustache
12. The Mustacheteer
13. The Great Mustache Migration
14. Achtung Baby! It’s a Mustache!
15. Fuzzy Dice and the Mustache Rides

Knock-Knock Jokes About ‘Mustache’ So Funny, They’ll Tickle Your Whiskers

1. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later!
2. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache you been hiding, I haven’t seen a ‘stache this good in ages!
3. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache been a rough day, you look like you could use a trim!
4. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache you to tell me the secret to your amazing lip sweater!
5. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache been the milkman, that crumb duster is out of control!
6. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache a brave soul to rock that flavor saver!
7. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache been a gust of wind, almost lost my whole look!
8. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache you a favor and ask if handlebars are back in style?
9. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache got a comb handy, that’s a work of art!
10. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache feel amazing to have that much shade on a sunny day!
11. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache be nice to grow one like that, I can only manage a few whiskers!
12. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache been a burglar, I never forget a face fuzz!
13. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache cost a fortune in wax to keep that thing sculpted!
14. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache you forgive me, but you look like you’re about to start a biker gang!
15. Knock, knock. Who’s there? Mustache. Mustache who? Mustache taken a wrong turn, thought I wandered into a Tom Selleck convention!

Stache-ing Away the Laughter for Now

We mustache you a question—did you enjoy those hilarious jokes? We’re razor-sharp when it comes to puns, and our website is teeming with even more comedic gold. So, groom your funny bone and explore our site for a stubble-load of laughs!

About the Author: Sarah Ejaz

I, Sarah Ejaz, am the creative force behind ThePunnyWorld.com, your premier destination for chuckles and chortles. With my expertise in English Literature and extensive experience as a freelance creative writer, I craft jokes and puns that light up your day. Explore our world for your daily dose of humor, and let the good times roll! Find and read here my Best Puns.

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