🎃👻 Get ready to groan with glee! 💀🤣 This Halloween, we’re summoning the best list of puns and jokes about Halloween that are absolutely fa-boo-lous! 👻 Whether you’re a ghoul for clever wordplay or just looking for some funny jokes for kids, get ready for a cauldron of humor that’s sure to lift your spirits – no tricks, just treats! 🍬 Get your funny bones ready, because these puns and jokes are spook-tacularly hilarious! 😂
Top Halloween Puns & Jokes – Editor’s Picks: Get Your Ghoul On With These Spooktacular Selections!
- Why did the skeleton skip the Halloween party? He had no body to go with!
- What do you call an owl that’s addicted to the internet? A twit-whoo!
- Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!
- What does a vampire never order at a restaurant? A stake sandwich!
- What’s it like living in a haunted house? It’s a real scream!
- Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos!
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling!
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash!
- Why are ghosts bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- What position do ghosts play in baseball? Ghoulish base!
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised. …
- Why didn’t the zombie go trick-or-treating? He felt rotten!
- What do you call two witches who live together? Broommates!
- What instrument do skeletons play? The trom-bone!
Funny Halloween One-Liner Jokes to Tickle Your Funny Bone
- What do you call an owl that’s addicted to the internet? A Tweet-hoo!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She seemed surprised.
- Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
- What’s it like to live in a haunted house? It’s a real scream!
- What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business!
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts.
- I wondered why the frisbee was getting bigger, then it hit me.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite dessert? I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream!
- What do you call a ghost’s true love? A boo-tiful romance.
- Why did the vampire read the New York Times? He heard it had great circulation.
- How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch.
- What position do ghosts play in baseball? They’re always on the base spirit.
- What music do mummies listen to? Wrap music!
- Why did the headless horseman go into business? He heard he was going to lose his head.
QnA Jokes & Puns about Halloween: Get Your Ghoul-friend Laughing
- Q: What do you call a witch’s garage? A: A broom-vroom!
- Q: What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A: A bloody orange!
- Q: Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? A: He didn’t have the guts!
- Q: What do you get if you cross a ghost with a pirate? A: A plunder-geist!
- Q: What’s a mummy’s favorite type of music? A: Wrap music!
- Q: Why did the zombie skip dessert? A: He was already full of brains!
- Q: What’s a ghost’s favorite position in hockey? A: Ghoul-tender!
- Q: What do you call it when a vampire has trouble with his house? A: A grave problem!
- Q: What do you call two witches who live together? A: Broom-mates!
- Q: What did the ghost teacher say to the class? A: “Look at me and pay attention, this is very im-portant!”
- Q: Why are ghosts such bad liars? A: You can see right through them!
- Q: What instrument do skeletons play? A: The trom-bone!
- Q: Why don’t mummies take time off? A: They’re afraid to unwind!
- Q: What does a vampire order at a restaurant? A: A bloody rare steak and a glass of type-O!
- Q: Why are ghosts so bad at hide-and-seek? A: Because someone is always saying, “Boo!”
- Q: What’s a werewolf’s biggest fear? A: A full moon and no hair gel!
Dad Jokes about Halloween: Prepare to Groan with Ghoulish Delight
- Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road? Because he didn’t have the guts!
- What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A pouch potato!
- I saw a sign that said “watch for children.” So I thought, “That sounds like a fair trade.”
- Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid they’ll relax and unwind!
- What do you call an owl that’s lost its Halloween spirit? A bird-humbug!
- Why are ghosts such bad liars? Because you can see right through them!
- What does a nosey pepper do? It gets jalapeno business!
- Why did the vampire read the newspaper? He heard it had great circulation!
- What instrument do skeletons play? The trom-bone!
- What rooms do ghosts avoid? Living rooms!
- What did the daddy ghost say to the baby ghost? Don’t spook until you’re spooken to.
- What do you get when you drop a pumpkin? Squash!
- Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling!
- I’m reading a horror story in Braille. Something bad is about to happen… I can feel it.
- What’s a ghost’s favorite fruit? A boo-berry!
Funny Quotes About Halloween: Get Your Ghoul On With These Hilarious Quips
- “I’m not saying my Halloween costume is going to be amazing, but I’ll probably get a raise out of it.” (Plays on the double meaning of “raise” – a pay increase and raising from the dead)
- “Halloween is the perfect time to unleash your inner child. And by unleash, I mean let them eat all the candy.” (Humorous take on the common phrase and links it to candy)
- “Just saw a sign that said ‘Halloween Costumes Half Off After Halloween.’ What’s the point? I’m going as ‘financially responsible’ next year.” (Sarcastic observation about post-Halloween sales)
- “My goal this Halloween is to get so much candy, I won’t need to buy groceries for a year. My dentist is already terrified.” (Exaggerated ambition about Halloween candy, includes relatable dentist fear)
- “The only thing scarier than Halloween is looking back at pictures of your old costumes.” (Relatable humor about past costume choices)
- “Why didn’t the vampire attack Taylor Swift? She had bad blood.” (Pop culture reference combined with a vampire pun)
- “The scariest thing about Halloween is realizing it’s just one week before Christmas decorations start going up.” (Humorous observation about the fast-approaching holidays)
Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Halloween: Get Your Ghoul On with These Spooktacular Quips
- A watched cauldron never boils, but an unattended one might summon a demon. (A twist on “A watched pot never boils.”)
- Don’t put all your eggs in one haunted house. (Instead of “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.”)
- The early bird gets the worm, but the early trick-or-treater gets the full-size candy bars.
- Never judge a ghoul by its cover. (Instead of “Never judge a book by its cover.”)
- Too many cooks spoil the cauldron. (Instead of “Too many cooks spoil the broth.”)
- You can lead a vampire to blood, but you can’t make him drink… responsibly. (A play on “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink.”)
- A ghost in the hand is worth two in the graveyard. (Instead of “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush.”)
- The squeaky skeleton gets the grease… stain. (Instead of “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.”)
- All that glitters is not gold, sometimes it’s just a vampire’s jewelry.
- Don’t cry over spilled potion, it might be a love spell gone wrong. (Instead of “Don’t cry over spilled milk.”)
- A candy a day keeps the dentist away… just kidding, he’ll see you in November!
- When in doubt, wear more glitter. It’s the Halloween equivalent of duct tape.
- Life is like a box of Halloween candy, you never know what you’re gonna get… especially after your little brother has been in it.
- Candy corn: the only food that can survive a nuclear apocalypse. (A silly observation about the polarizing candy.)
Halloween Double Entendres Puns: Prepare for a Spooktacular Play on Words
- “Hey ghoul, wanna go out sometime?” (Ghoul can refer to a monster or an attractive person)
- “This party is dead on arrival.” (A dull party or a party with actual deceased guests)
- “I’m feeling really batty tonight!” (Crazy or like a literal bat)
- “These ghosts really know how to throw a boo-quet.” (A ghostly bouquet of flowers or a chorus of boos)
- “This costume is to die for!” (Incredibly fashionable or literally deadly)
- “I’m having a bloody good time!” (A fun time, or a time filled with literal blood)
- “That vampire really sucks!” (He’s unpleasant, or he enjoys consuming blood)
- “Let’s get this party startled!” (Begin the festivities, or frighten everyone)
- “Don’t be a scaredy-cat, try the candy corn.” (Cowardly, or a feline afraid of Halloween treats)
- “That witch is a real catch!” (Desirable, or skilled at catching things… like souls)
- “This haunted house is drop-dead gorgeous!” (Astonishingly beautiful, or deadly)
- “This graveyard is really hopping tonight!” (Lively, or filled with undead hopping creatures)
- “I’m feeling a little ghoul-sick, I think I ate too much candy.” (Nauseous, or experiencing a ghoul-specific illness)
- “That skeleton really knows how to rattle his bones!” (Excellent dancer, or literally shaking his skeletal frame)
- “This pumpkin spice latte is boo-tiful!” (Delicious, or aesthetically pleasing like a ghost)
Recursive Puns about Halloween: Prepare for a Spooktacular Inception of Hilarity
- Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They just don’t have the guts to do it… because they don’t have the guts to do it… because they don’t have the guts to do it…
- What do you call a haunted chicken coop? A poultrygeist… that lays poultrygeists… that lay poultrygeists…
- Why is Dracula so bad at poker? He always gets caught bluffing… because he has no reflection… which means he can’t help but get caught bluffing…
- What do you get if you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite… which turns you into a vampire… who then might cross paths with a snowman…
- How does a ghost pirate enter a chatroom? He logs in… then disappears… then logs in… then disappears…
- Why are ghosts bad liars? You can see right through them… and their lies… which you can see right through them…
- What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school? Spelling… because it’s how they get what they want… by spelling… to get what they want…
- Why did the zombie go to the doctor? He was feeling rotten… because he was dead… which is why he was feeling rotten…
- What do you call a mummy’s dog? A tomb-pooch… that digs up tomb-pooches… that dig up tomb-pooches…
- What do you call a werewolf with a Chinese menu in his hand? A what’s-app-for-dinner-wolf… that’s looking at a what’s-app-for-dinner-wolf menu…
- Why did the ghost go into the bar? For the Boos… which scared him… and made him want more Boos…
- How can you tell if a vampire is sick? See if he’s coffin… because he’s not feeling well… which might make him start coffin…
- Why don’t mummies take vacations? They’re afraid to unwind… which would make them unravel… which would then mean they need to rewind…
- What music do monsters listen to? Anything they can get their claws on… because they’re monsters… and that’s how they get what they want… with their claws…
- Why is it so hard to trust atoms on Halloween? Because they make up everything… including lies… which means you can’t trust them… because they make up everything…
Funny Halloween Tom Swifties – Jokes and Puns That Will Make You Say “Boo-tiful!”
- “Pass the candy corn, please,” Tom said cordially.
- “I just love carving pumpkins!” Tom said seedlessly.
- “That haunted house made me scream my head off!” Tom said hoarsely.
- “I think I ate too much candy,” Tom said spookily.
- “Check out my Dracula costume!” Tom said battily.
- “I wrapped up the leftover candy corn,” Tom said foil-ly.
- “This costume is way too tight!” Tom said ghoulishly.
- “I’m going to dress up as a werewolf this year,” Tom said hair-raisingly.
- “Did you see that witch fly by?” Tom said wickedly.
- “My Halloween decorations keep falling down,” Tom said creepily.
- “This fog is really spooky,” Tom said mistily.
- “I’m going as a zombie for Halloween,” Tom said deadpan.
- “I love bobbing for apples!” Tom said fruitlessly.
- “This haunted corn maze is really confusing,” Tom said maze-ingly.
- “Be careful trick-or-treating tonight!” Tom said warn-ly.
- Let’s watch a scary movie marathon!” Tom said horrifyingly.
Halloween Spoonerisms: Fright Night’s Funniest Fluffs
- “Time to carve the jumpkin!” (Time to carve the pumpkin!)
- Trick or peat!” (Trick or treat!)
- “Happy Howloween, everyghoul!” (Happy Halloween, everyone!)
- “Please, take a sheet, ghost.” (Please, take a seat, ghost.)
- “I saw a scary bear witch at the party.” (I saw a scary bear witch at the party.)
- “Who’s ready for some boos and ghoots?” (Who’s ready for some ghouls and boo’s?)
- “Don’t forget to buy some dandy corn!” (Don’t forget to buy some candy corn!)
- “Check out my spooktacular castume!” (Check out my spooktacular costume!)
- “Let’s have a woast to the host!” (Let’s have a toast to the ghost!)
- “This haunted house is really wreepy!” (This haunted house is really creepy!)
- “Beware the witch’s coiling cauldron!” (Beware the witch’s boiling cauldron!)
- “I’m going as a scary bunt this year!” (I’m going as a scary cunt this year! – Be cautious, might be considered offensive)
- “I love the smell of pumpkin spice and everyhing!” (I love the smell of pumpkin spice and everything!)
- “Have a boo-tiful Halloween!” (Have a beautiful Halloween!)
- “This punch is absolutely fang-tastic!” (This punch is absolutely fantastic!)
- “The graveyard is looking very spiffy tonight!” (The graveyard is looking very spooky tonight!)
- “Don’t be a scaredy-bat, come join the fun!” (Don’t be a scaredy-cat, come join the fun!)
Fangs for Reading! Hope You Didn’t Boo-re Out!
We’ve reached the end of our spooky pun journey, but don’t be afraid to keep the laughter alive! Explore our website for more hilarious puns and jokes that are guaranteed to lift your spirits higher than a witch on a broomstick. We’ve got enough material to make your funny bone rattle!
