Get ready to laugh your apples off! ππ This list of apple puns and jokes is the best way to bring some humor to your day. From clever puns to jokes that are perfect for kids, weβve got all the funny apple-themed humor you could ever want. So grab a snack (maybe even a delicious apple!), get comfy, and get ready for a bushel of laughs with these positive and hilarious puns and jokes about apples! ππ
Top Apple Puns & Jokes β Editorβs Picks: Guaranteed to Make You Laugh, Not Byte
- Why did the iPhone go to the doctor? Because it wasnβt peeling well!
- What does a tech-savvy farmer grow? Pineapples!
- What did the Apple say to the Orange? βHey! Quit copying me!β
- How does an Apple Watch propose? It gets down on one app!
- What did the detective say when he found the missing Apple product? βCase closed!β
- What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry. What do you call a happy blueberry? A blackberry. What do you call a blackberry that works at Apple? A Genius!
- Why canβt the orange win an argument with the apple? Because the apple has all the arguments!
- I tried to explain to my friend how expensive new iPhones are⦠It went over his head.
- Whatβs it called when an apple takes over a kingdom? A fruit coup!
- Whatβs an appleβs favorite app? Find My Friends!
- Did you hear about the iCar? It had a really bad signal until it drove into the Apple store!
- I just got fired from my job at the Apple factory. Apparently, I had a bad βcoreβ performance review.
- I saw a sign that said: βWatch for children.β I thought, thatβs strange. Whoβs watching them? An Apple Watch?
- Why did the apple go on a date with the prune? Because he couldnβt find a date!
- My friend said his iPhone is water-resistant. I told him thatβs cool, but my blender is apple-resistant.
- Why donβt they allow fruits in computer labs? Because theyβre afraid of a byte!
- How do you make apple juice? You give it a good push!

Funny Apple One-Liner Jokes That Will Make You Chuckle
- I tried to make apple juice from concentrate, but I couldnβt focus.
- Did you hear about the apple that went on a diet? Itβs now a pineapple.
- What does an apple do when it blushes? It turns a little cider.
- Why did the apple go out with the prune? Because he couldnβt find a date.
- I threw an apple at a guy yesterday⦠luckily, I missed the core.
- You know what they say about apple seedsβ¦ theyβre the core of the issue.
- What do you call an apple that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
- An apple a day keeps the doctor away⦠especially if you aim well.
- My friend tried to convince me that apples grow underground. I told him, βYouβre barking up the wrong tree!β
- Why did the apple get detention? It kept falling asleep in class!
- Whatβs worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.
- I saw a sign that said βWatch for Apples.β I thought, βHow do they watch anything without eyes?β
- Never take advice from an apple. They have no core values.
- Whatβs an appleβs favorite type of music? Anything but heavy metal.
- Why did the teacher bring apples to school? She wanted to teach her students about core subjects.
- I tried to catch some fog earlier. I mist.
- They said I could be anything, so I became an apple. Now Iβm sadβ¦ I really wanted to be an orange.
QnA Jokes & Puns about Apple: Gettinβ Fruity with the Apple of Our Eye
- Q: Why did the apple go out with the prune? A: Because he couldnβt find a date!
- Q: What does an Apple employee use to fix a broken Apple product? A: Apple juice!
- Q: Why did the iPhone go to the doctor? A: It had a bad app-endicitis!
- Q: Why did Apple decide to make phones? A: They heard Samsung was making a killing!
- Q: Whatβs an Apple productβs favorite school subject? A: i-Geometry!
- Q: Why canβt you tell a secret on an Apple farm? A: Too many iPads!
- Q: How does an iWatch pay for things? A: With Apple Pay, silly!
- Q: What do you call a line of Apple fans outside a locked Apple store? A: An iQueue!
- Q: Whatβs red, bad for your teeth, and sounds like a bell? A: An apple ring-tone!
- Q: Why was the iPhone XR feeling sad? A: Because it wasnβt as XS-ive!
- Q: Why donβt they have bells in Apple stores anymore? A: Because everyone already knows when an iPhone rings!
- Q: Whatβs the most innovative fruit company? A: Apple, they think different!
- Q: What did the detective say when he cracked the case of the stolen iPhone? A: βHey Siri, itβs case closed!β
- Q: Why was the iPad feeling lonely in the Apple store? A: Because all the iPhones were pairing off!
- Q: Whatβs an Apple computerβs favorite snack? A: Microchips!
- Q: What do you call an Apple product that takes really good care of itself? A: A Mac-Gyver!
Dad Jokes About Apple: Get Ready to Groan
- What does an Apple executive use to dry their clothes? A pair of iDryers.
- Why did the Apple product go to the doctor? Because it wasnβt peeling well.
- Whatβs it called when an iPhone falls in love? An iRomance.
- My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing it. So I took it to the Apple store. Now it has a new home and 5G.
- What does a tech-savvy farmer grow? Pineapples.
- I threw my iPhone at the ground as hard as I couldβ¦ β¦it still had no cracks. It turns out it was already broken.
- Hey, Dad, can I have an Apple? Sure son, go ask Siri.
- I saw a sign that said βApple Farm.β I thought, βThatβs a core business model.β
- Why canβt you trust atoms? They make up everything, especially Apple products.
- My friend keeps saying βAppleβs logo is a metaphor for knowledge!β I think heβs just eaten too many Apple cores.
- What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry. What do you call a happy blueberry? An Apple.
- What did the dad say when he dropped his phone in the toilet? Well, that sucks.
- Why couldnβt the iPad get any sleep? Because it kept having app-mares!
- How does an iWatch pay for things? With Apple Pay, duh! Itβs like magic, but with technology.
- My iPhone is broken, so Iβm going to trade it in for a newer model. Itβs time for an upgradeβ¦or as I like to call it, an up-byte.
- Why are Apple employees such good listeners? Because theyβre always wearing AirPods!
Funny Quotes About Apple: That Will Make You Want to Go Bananas
- βI tried to explain to my friend the difference between Android and Apple, but he just wouldnβt budge. Heβs such a hard-core iFan.β
- βMy wallet and I had a serious talk about my Apple addiction. It didnβt understand.β
- βI just saw an Apple employee polishing a tree. Job security is tough these days.β
- βApple should start making cars. Then they could finally tell us to βthink differentβ about traffic jams.β
- βWhatβs a pirateβs favorite Apple product? The iPatch, of course!β
- βMy therapist told me to avoid stressful situations. So I stopped watching Apple product launches.β
- βWhy did the apple go to the party? Because it heard the music was going to be iPod-ing!β
- βIβm not saying Apple products are expensive, but I did have to sell a kidney to afford the new charger.β
- βMy bank account is like an iPhone battery β it goes from 100% to 10% just by looking at it.β
- βIβm starting to think Siri is judging my life choices. Sheβs always giving me that βside-eyeβ emoji.β
- βIβm convinced Apple uses a reverse vacuum cleaner to suck the money out of my bank account.β
- βDating tip: If someone says they donβt have their phone with them, itβs definitely an Android. No one leaves home without their iPhone.β
- βApple should rename the Genius Bar to the βWeβre not sure whatβs wrong either, but weβll charge you $100 to look at itβ Bar.β
- βYou know youβre addicted to Apple when you start naming your children after software updates.β
- βIβm not saying Iβm clumsy, but Iβve dropped my iPhone so many times, Siri has developed a stutter.β
- βIβm convinced the βFind My iPhoneβ app is really just Appleβs way of keeping tabs on us.β
- βApple: We think different. Also Apple: Buy our new phone. Itβs basically the same as the old one but with a slightly better camera.β
Funny Proverbs & Wise Sayings about Apple: A Core Collection of Humor
- An Apple a day keeps anyone away if you throw it hard enough. (Classic proverb with a mischievous twist)
- The early bird gets the worm, but the patient one gets the new iPhone. (Modern tech spin on an old saying)
- Donβt judge an Apple by its skin, especially the scratched-up ones in the bargain bin. (Humorous take on judging appearances)
- A rotten Apple in the cart spoils the whole Apple ecosystem. (Playful jab at brand loyalty)
- Give a man an Apple, and heβll eat for a day. Teach a man to use an Apple product, and heβll empty his wallet for a lifetime. (Humorous commentary on Apple pricing)
- The pen is mightier than the sword, but the Apple Pencil is mightier than both⦠and more expensive. (Poking fun at the high cost of accessories)
- Two wrongs donβt make a right, but two Apple failures make a Samsung user chuckle. (Playful rivalry between brands)
- If life gives you lemons, trade them for an Apple. Everyone knows they hold their resale value better. (Tongue-in-cheek advice on prioritizing value)
- Rome wasnβt built in a day, but it could have been downloaded faster with a stable internet connection. (Modern tech humor meets historical fact)
- Donβt bite the hand that feeds you, unless itβs offering you a green Apple. Demand a different color. (Silly and specific for added humor)
- All that glitters is not gold, but it might be a new iPhone release. (Playing on the excitement around new Apple products)
- A penny saved is a penny earned, unless itβs towards a new MacBook, then itβs just a drop in the ocean. (Humorously highlighting the perceived high cost of Apple products)
- Good things come to those who wait, but the new Apple Watch is available for pre-order now! (A playful encouragement for instant gratification)
- You canβt have your Apple and eat it too, especially if you forget to charge it. (A pun-filled reminder about battery life)
- The grass is always greener on the other side, especially if theyβre using the new iPhone camera filters. (Poking fun at social media and tech envy)
Apple Double Entendres Puns: Gettinβ Fruity With the English Language
- βIβm not saying the apple pie contest was rigged, but the winnerβs crust was definitely connected.β (Implying cheating/a delicious crust)
- βThis apple crumble is the core of my existence.β (Essential/about the fruit)
- βYouβve got to be the apple of your own pie.β (Love yourself/be the best part of your creation)
- βHe was caught red-handed trying to steal an apple. They threw the book at him, but it bounced off his Granny Smith.β (Type of apple/tough skin)
- βMy doctor told me to eat an apple a day. Now Iβm the apple of my doctorβs eye.β (Healthy/favorite patient)
- βSheβs got a chip on her shoulder and a worm in her apple.β (Holding a grudge/a literal wormy apple)
- βThe apple doesnβt fall far from the tree, unless itβs being thrown at someone.β (Family resemblance/apple projectiles)
- βI tried to explain the concept of an Apple ecosystem, but it fell on deaf ears.β (Apple products/ignorance)
- βDating app profiles are like apples: Youβve got to swipe through a lot of bad ones to find a good one.β (Online dating/fruit selection)
- I went to an apple orchard and all I got was this lousy t-shirtβ¦and a bushel of delicious apples.β (Tourist trap/fruit haul)
- βIβm starting to think this whole βan apple a day keeps the doctor awayβ thing is just a big conspiracy by Big Apple.β (Health advice/fruit industry)
- βThey say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. But I ate a whole pie and now I have a tummy ache. Guess I need to call the doctor!β (Overindulgence/ironic outcome)
- βLove is like an apple: Sweet and juicy, but with a core that can be a bit tough to swallow.β (Romance/reality of relationships)
- βDonβt worry about that mistake. We all have our bad apples.β (Human error/rotten fruit)
- βLife is short, eat dessert first! Especially if itβs apple pie.β (Indulgence/delicious priorities)
- βHeβs the Big Apple of my eye.β (Important person/New York City reference)
- βI tried to resist the apple pie, but it was calling my nameβ¦and whispering βΓ la modeβ.β (Temptation/ice cream pairing)
Recursive Puns About Apple: Prepare to Get Cored Away With Laughter
- Why did the recursive function go to the Apple store? To byte into a new loop! π
- Whatβs an Apple engineerβs favorite type of fruit basket? One with a base case-nana! π
- Why did Apple create a self-referential operating system? They heard it was the core of the problem! π
- Whatβs an Apple programmerβs favorite snack? Recursion rings! π
- How do you fix a broken Apple pun? You use a pair oβ functions! π
- Why did the Apple Watch break up with the iPhone? It said their relationship was too app-dependent! π
- Whatβs the most recursive fruit in the world? The Apple-ception! π€―
- How do you make an Apple crumble? You push it down the iOS upgrade path! crumble! π₯§
- Why did the Apple fall from the tree? Because it was tired of being the root of all problems! π³
- Whatβs an Appleβs favorite type of music? Anything with a catchy re-fruit-ain! πΆ
- Why did the Apple refuse to go to school? It said it already had a core curriculum! π
- How do you find a lost Apple product? You use the βFind My Recursionβ app! π
- What do you get when you mix an Apple with a pomegranate? A fruit salad that never endsβ¦ it just keeps seeding itself! π₯
- Why are Apple products so good at hiding? Theyβre experts at going incognitoβ¦ or should I say, βin-App-nitoβ! π΅οΈββοΈ
- Why did the Apple go to therapy? It had too many core issues! π§
Funny Apple Tom Swifties β Jokes and Puns: Get Ready to Groan with Laughter!
- βThis apple pie is delicious!β Tom said sweetly.
- βI just bought ten pounds of apples!β Tom said remotely.
- βThese apple seeds are bitter!β Tom spitted.
- βMy favorite part of an apple is the peel,β Tom said skin-cerely.
- βI dropped the apple pie!β Tom said crustfallen.
- βDonβt you dare take another bite of my apple pie!β Tom said pie-vously.
- βThis apple orchard is enormous!β Tom said broadly.
- βThis caramel apple is really sticky,β Tom said gooily.
- βDid you try this apple cider?β Tom asked pressingly.
- βI just love apple picking season!β Tom said orchard-ly.
- βThese apple slices are perfectly thin,β Tom said slyly.
- βIβm going to plant an apple seed,β Tom said core-fully.
- βThis apple is rotten!β Tom said badly.
- βThis is the best apple pie Iβve ever had!β Tom exclaimed appley-ever-after.
- βWatch out, that apple looks like itβs about to fall,β Tom warned gravely.
- βI think I ate too many apple fritters,β Tom said dough-fully.
- βPass the apple butter,β Tom said smoothly.
Apple Spoonerisms: Where Bites Get Tongued-Tied
- βI need to pace my hone!β (Replace my phone)
- βDid you get the new Apps Pro?β (Apps Pro instead of iPad Pro)
- βSiri, can you plea the nusic?β (Play the music)
- βThis app is a real pine waster!β (Time waster)
- βJust a cew hlicks and youβre done!β (Few clicks)
- βWelcome to the Snapple tore!β (Apple Store)
- βI love the new MacBoot Pro.β (MacBook Pro)
- βHave you tried the new Apple Gatch?β (Apple Watch)
- βMy phone is stuck on the Papple Sogo.β (Apple logo)
- βI need to iPair my Bluetooths.β (Repair my Bluetooth)
- βThe battery life on this thing is a load of bunk!β (A load of junk)
- βThis new feature is stot the show!β (Hot the show)
- βI hate it when my phone craps out.β (Slaps out)
- βCheck out my new TonePods!β (AirPods)
- βThis update is taking pyond age!β (Beyond age)
- βI canβt stand slow Wi-Hi-Fi.β (Slow Wi-Fi)
- βMy phone bill this month? A total hone bonker!β (Phone bonker instead of bone shocker)
Thatβs All Folks! Apple-lutely Hilarious, Right?
We hope these apple puns and jokes have tickled your funny bone and given you a real core memory! But donβt stop there! Weβre not peeling out just yet. Explore our website for a bushel of other hilarious puns and jokes that will have you laughing all the way to the orchard.